Between Friends and Lovers
by Morgan Weber
Summary: Rachel finally has everything she's wanted out of high school. A boyfriend, friends, the star of glee club. When it all comes crashing down around her she learns a valuable life lesson. Sometimes friends make the best lovers. M for lang & adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my first Glee FF. I am a HUGE fan of the show. More obsessed than I have ever been with anything else in my entire life and my family is considering forming a support group to deal with me. :) I do not own Glee nor any of its characters. No infringement is intended. They are the property of Ryan Murphy, Ian Brenna, Brian Falchuk, and Fox and I know that I am nowhere near as talented as those who bring us Glee (in more ways than one) each week.**

**CHAPTER ONE**

The last time Finn Hudson was in her bedroom had been a humiliating experience. She still couldn't believe she'd let Kurt convince her to wear that ridiculous cat suit. Finn's conclusion that she looked like a "sad clown hooker" had stung, but him following it with "I do like you Rachel" had hurt even worse. Even though it had happened only a few weeks previous it felt as if months had passed. So many things had happened since then, the truth about the paternity of Quinn's baby, Mr. Schuester and his drama with his wife, and then Sectionals. It was all a crazy whirlwind that seemed to have culminated into Finn Hudson sitting on her bed once again. She wasn't sure yet if the storm was over or they were just in the calm center gearing up for another round of some serious drama, but she was guessing it was just the eye of the storm.

"How are you doing?" she asked him quietly, even though from the expression on his face she guessed not well.

"I'm dealing," he sighed as he rubbed his face with his hands as if that could erase the past few months. "I don't know," he continued, "I thought the hardest part was going to be being around them in glee, but that's been pretty manageable. Everyone's been really cool. The hardest part of my day now is going home because I can't avoid Quinn there."

Rachel did a double-take and then said incredulously, "Quinn is still living with you?"

He looked at her with wide innocent eyes. "Yeah, where else is she supposed to go? Her parents kicked her out, her Cheerio friends have basically turned on her except for Brittany and Santana, but she asked and their parents said they didn't think it would be a good idea."

"What about Puck?" she asked, frantically trying to come up with an option other than Quinn Fabray continuing to habitate with Finn.

"Puck's only useful for one thing and it's not something she needs him for anymore," Finn said ruefully. "I told my mom the truth and we talked and decided that until Quinn can find another solution she could keep staying at the house. It felt like the right thing to do at the time, but now I can't even stand to be there when she is because it makes me so angry."

Rachel bit on her lower lip as she contemplated the current situation. "You're welcome to stay here. My dad's would love to have you over for dinner anyway. And we could practice some songs together because Mr. Schuester's right, if we expect to place at Regionals we're definitely going to have to put in a lot of work."

The boy looked across the room at her gratefully. "Thanks Rach. I really appreciate it. That's at least one evening taken care of. I just have to figure out what I'm going to do about the next five months." He sighed heavily as he threw himself backwards on her bed in silent defeat.

Rachel's breath caught in her chest as she realized that Finn Hudson was currently lying prone on her bed. The visual image of her crawling on top of him in his vulnerable state flashed through her mind before she forced it out. _He needs a friend right now Rachel, _she told herself_. _She slowly walked over to her bed and very carefully climbed onto the pink bedspread next to him, tucking her skirt underneath her in an effort to not embarrass herself any more in this room than she already had. She was careful to keep her distance because she didn't want him to think that she was trying to make a move or anything like had happened in the auditorium when he'd first joined glee club.

"I wish I could do more for you Finn," she said sincerely.

He had felt her climb gently onto the bed but he had kept his eyes closed and was trying desperately to not think about how short her skirt was, or how nice she smelled, or how soft her full lips were, or the fact that they were _on her bed_. At her kind words he opened his eyes and looked into her concerned deep brown eyes and his chest tightened with feelings for this loud crazy girl who had turned his life upside down in some of the most wonderful ways. He reached out and found her hand, entangling her fingers with his own he pulled it up and held it close to his chest.

She could feel his heart beating in his chest as he held her hand. His hand was warm and slightly callused and it felt so good. The way his fingers linked with hers felt completely natural and a warm sensation spread up her arm and across her chest as he held her hand and gazed at her in a way she could only interpret as wonder. "You're the best friend I have right now, Rachel," he said and she felt her heart shatter at the word _friend_ and a lump rise into her throat. She knew that if she didn't get out of that room right then she would start crying in front of him and that would require an explanation. One she was not prepared to give. She yanked her hand away as if she'd been bit and quickly jumped off the bed. Standing in front of Finn as he rose from her sudden movements with a quizzical expression on his face she smoothed down her skirt in a nervous habit and flashed her trademark _everything's alright but you'd know I was lying if you looked in my eyes _smile. "I'm going to go tell my dad's that you're staying for dinner and you can call your mom and let her know so she won't worry."

She left the room and a confused Finn in such a hurry that he almost thought it was one of her infamous and well-practiced storm-outs. He smiled and shook his head as he rose from her bed and started to leave the room. He took his time walking toward the door and then stopped at the vanity and picked up a small bottle, sniffed it, and slipped it quickly into his pocket. If Rachel had been able to see that she would not have been quickly pulling herself together in the bathroom, heartbroken over the idea that all Finn saw her as, all he would ever see her as, is a friend.

* * *

"So your dad's are pretty cool," Finn said as they once again entered Rachel's room. They had finished dinner and then sat in the living room talking about school and other safe subjects for a while before Rachel had said they were going to practice some songs. They had left her parents on the sofa as they prepared to watch a movie. "Yeah," Rachel agreed with a laughing smile, "I think I'll keep them."

Finn honored her joke with a soft chuckle. "So," Rachel continued, "any ideas for songs we could suggest to Mr. Schue?" Rachel actually already had a list of songs, but she wanted to make Finn feel like he was contributing as well.

Finn gave her an apologetic look and said, "Would you mind if we didn't tonight? I kind of just want to hang out with you and not think about glee or school or anyone else that brings all that stuff up."

"I'm sorry Finn."

"What are you sorry about? You didn't do anything. It's not your fault."

Rachel sighed, "But I'm the one who told you. If I hadn't become suspicious and stuck my nose into something that wasn't my business.."

"Then I'd still be playing the idiot in Puck and Quinn's little game," Finn finished for her. He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders to be sure he had her attention. "Rachel, I don't blame you for any of this. In fact, I'm so thankful for you. You had the guts to tell me the truth even though you knew it was going to be painful and horrible. It's better to live with the truth and just deal with it than to live a lie and never know it. I feel like such an idiot for ever believing her."

"You're not an idiot," Rachel assured him vehemently. "You're just a trusting person. You trusted your girlfriend and your best friend to tell you the truth and to not betray you and it doesn't make you an idiot to not see their manipulations." He was still holding onto her and her hands automatically went up to hold his arms. They stood there holding each other for what seemed like forever until the air between them began to feel heavy and Rachel wasn't sure what to do or say because all she could think was how much she wanted to kiss this beautiful boy standing in front of her.

Finn was the first to break the silence. "Rachel, I told you earlier that you're my best friend, but I need you to know that you're so much more than just a friend to me." His voice was almost a whisper as he took a step closer to her, closing the gap between them to just inches.

Rachel held her breath at his words and his proximity to her. "I am?" she finally breathed, almost afraid to speak. Afraid that her normal proclivity for speech would somehow ruin the moment and scare him away. Even though there were a multitude of questions racing through her mind she made a huge effort to say nothing but that one.

Finn gave her a soft smile and gently caressed her cheek with his hand. "You are," he whispered as his hand moved from her cheek, his fingers threaded their way through her dark brown locks and his hand rested at the back of her head keeping her from pulling away as he slowly leaned in and gently placed a kiss on her soft lips.

Not that she would have pulled away. In fact, in that moment Rachel Berry was so lost in the sensations of his hand, his breath, just the warmth of his body being so close to her that she literally couldn't move. Finn slowly pulled back to gauge her reaction to his kiss. "Was that okay?" he asked. And then he realized that could be taken many different ways. What he really wanted to know was if she was completely mortified that he had just kissed her without any warning. "I mean..." he began, but her lips finding his effectively shut him up and answered his question simultaneously.

It was tentative at first. They had kissed twice before and in the back of her mind Rachel was terrified that this would end in the same way, but she also wanted to savor every second of this moment. Finn was also terrified that this kiss would end the same way as before in the auditorium so while he was fully enjoying the feel of Rachel's lips on his he was also concentrating very hard on mailmen.

His hands slowly slid down from her hair, dragging his fingertips gently down her arms he felt her shiver and he wondered if she was ticklish or if she liked the sensation he had caused in her. His hands eventually found her hips and he pulled her body closer to him as he leaned down further to claim her lips. Rachel was the first to pull away, but only because she needed air so badly she thought she would pass out.

She looked up into his eyes and saw the desire building there, the want, for her. Her heart swelled at the idea. No one had ever wanted her. Her lips were red and swollen and her chest rose and fell rapidly as she tried to catch her breath. And suddenly he was there again, trailing kisses down her jawline, sucking softly on her neck, her collarbone, the edge of her shirt where her breasts rose and she felt a warmth grow in her belly, a new sensation building between her legs and in that moment she wanted Finn Hudson more than anything in the world. It didn't even matter that her father's were downstairs and could walk in at any moment. She wanted him.

Without really knowing what she was doing Rachel began moving backwards towards her bed. Finn followed her without thinking. He was lost in her scent, in her touch and taste. _I could do this forever_ he thought, but the warning coming from his jeans told him that wasn't true. Suddenly they were at the edge of her bed and when she stopped moving Finn kept moving, pushing against her. She felt him and let out a soft gasp.

Her hands flew to his face as she pulled his lips back to hers, missing the taste of him. She opened her mouth slightly to let him know it was okay and he took the hint. As his tongue pressed into her mouth and found hers a soft moan escaped her throat and when the sound reached Finn's ears it was all he could handle. Suddenly he pulled away from her and turned, doubled over as he lost control in his pants. He kept his back to her, embarrassed because he couldn't control himself, because he'd just ruined their perfect moment. Then he felt a soft warm hand on his back and he could feel her walking around to face him. "I'm sorry," he said with such a defeated voice her heart ached for him.

Reaching out she gently took his head in her hands and pulled him to her in a tender kiss. "It's okay," she whispered to him, a soft loving smile gracing her beautiful features. "If there's anything I've learned from my years of vocal training it's that nothing ever works out perfectly the first time. That's why people practice, Finn."

He slowly stood up to his full 6'3" frame and stared down into her dark eyes and hopeful smile. He gave her a slow smile in return and slowly leaned down to return her tender kiss. Then he hugged her too him and whispered into her hair, "That's one practice I will definitely not be missing." Her happy laugh was the only response he needed.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Wow, I am awed by the amount of people that have alerted, favorited, and reviewed this story already. I know I just posted Chapter 1 yesterday, but I actually write a few chapters ahead of what I post because I like to re-read them about six times before I submit them so I can try to catch as many errors as I can before they're posted. So I had this chapter sitting there and I couldn't hold off from posting it. To put everyone's minds at ease, this is a Puckleberry story. Rachel just needs to find her way. I don't own Glee, please see Chapter 1 for who does (correction to Chapter 1 Ian Brenna_n_ is a co-creator, not Brenna). Thank you all, please continue to review, I love to know what you think.**

**CHAPTER TWO**

For Rachel Berry getting through a day at William McKinley High School was all about preparation. Each morning after her rigorous exercise routine, a sensible breakfast, and the forty-five minutes it took her to do her makeup and hair in the bathroom, she would make sure her bag was packed with the necessities of the day. Homework from the previous night – check, iPod ready to go with appropriate show tunes and "life motto" music – check, binder of sheet music for glee – check, travel-size shampoo and conditioner – check, miniature blow-drier – check, brush and make-up – check, two changes of clothes neatly packed so as not to cause wrinkling – check. She had learned in her first week as a freshman that this was going to be her survival pack for high school and she felt a certain comfort in the fact that she was prepared for pretty much any occasion while traveling the halls of McKinley.

Monday morning was the first time since freshman year that she felt uncertain of herself and she hated that feeling. It had been two days since Finn had left her house that evening. Two days since the moment they had shared, something that she felt had been life-altering. A change in a new fabulous direction. She had been in love with Finn Hudson from the moment he had opened his mouth in glee and those beautiful notes had come flowing out. She had been patient, well not really, but she had been true to her feelings, even breaking up with Noah Puckerman because she felt as if she were cheating on Finn when she was with him. This was her chance to finally be with the boy who held her heart. It had been two whole days and he hadn't called or stopped by or anything. She hadn't seen him for two days and now she was unprepared for what may happen in these halls she walked. Would he ignore her? Would he pretend it had never happened and just treat her as the friend she had always been? Only bad scenarios were racing through her mind as she walked toward her locker with her pink bag wheeling behind her.

Suddenly a warm hand brushed against hers as it took the bag from her grasp. She looked in surprise at the culprit and found herself staring into Finn's soft brown eyes. "Hey," he said with a lopsided smile as they continued toward her locker with his hand now dragging the small pink bag behind him. "I'm sorry I didn't call this weekend. My mom got my progress report in the mail and when I got home I got chewed out and grounded for a week. She took my phone and only gave it back to me today "only for emergencies". She'll check it tonight so I can't text you during the day," he finished apologetically. Rachel was just pleased that it wasn't some other reason as to why he hadn't contacted her all weekend.

She gave him her warmest smile as they approached her locker and she quickly opened it and began transferring certain items from the bag into the locker and grabbing her first period books. "What subjects do you need help in?" she asked with just a little too much happiness in her voice. Finn leaned against the neighboring locker and looked down at the tiny brunette. "Pretty much everything," he said with a half-hearted laugh.

"Well then, you're in luck," she pronounced with a twinkle in her eyes, "because I happen to excel at pretty much everything." They both laughed even though Rachel wasn't really joking. She suddenly became a little shy, looking down at her shoes and letting her hair fall over her face as she quietly asked, "Do you think if your mom knew you had a private tutor helping you with your studies that she might give you early parole?"

Finn gave her a big smile and quietly replied, "I think she might. I could call her about it in between class. I'll tell her this wonderful, intelligent, talented girl has offered to tutor me out of the kindness of her heart, so could I please go over to her house after school to study in her well lit, orderly and learning friendly room."

Rachel blushed when she saw the look in his eyes and wondered exactly what subjects they would be studying if his mother did let him come over tonight. The warning bell ringing disturbed her thoughts and she shut her locker as the hallways quickly cleared of students. "Let me know what she says and you need to get to class," she said in her best teacher-student voice as she quickly turned down the hallway.

"Rachel," Finn shouted as he rushed to grab her. She didn't notice the beat he waited to be sure the hallway held just the two of them before he leaned down and gently placed a chaste kiss to her lips. "I've been wanting to do that for two days," he said as he turned and walked rapidly down the hall, leaving Rachel Berry completely stunned and for the first time in two years, unprepared.

* * *

When the final bell of the day rang Rachel hurried to her locker, grabbed her things, and nearly ran to the music room. All day long she had been thinking about Finn. Of course, they had eaten lunch together, but that wasn't enough for her. They hardly had any classes together and the few times she was able to see him in the hallways wasn't anything close to the quality time she knew she would get with him in glee practice. Her mind was on him as she entered the room, assuming she was the first one there since she usually was. "Congratulations," she heard a male voice say from the corner, although his tone of voice didn't match the word he had just spoken to her.

"Noah," she spoke in surprise as she looked in his direction. He was sitting, well more like slouching in this really sexy way, up on the back bleachers. His hazel eyes were dark and he was nearly glowering at her. "For what exactly are you congratulating me?" she asked as she continued into the room and chose one of the chairs beside the drum set. Her choice of seats wasn't lost on Puck and he let out a loud snort.

"You broke up the king and queen."

Rachel took immediate offense to his remark and standing from her seat she turned to face him, her hands on her hips, feet firmly planted on the ground. A smirk slowly spread across his face as he took in the show. "I didn't break anyone up. You," she said as she pointed an accusing finger toward him, "and Quinn are the ones who lied about something so utterly important. You two are the ones who broke his heart. I'm just trying to help him pick up the pieces." She glared pointedly at him and she saw something flash in his eyes, disappointment? Sadness? She couldn't be sure because it was gone too quickly.

"I told you once that those two would never break up," Puck said quietly. A triumphant smile began to spread across her lips as the idea that Noah Puckerman was about to admit that he was wrong about something formed in her mind. It quickly vanished when he finished, "I stand by my statement," as he nodded toward the door. Rachel turned to see Quinn slowly walking into the room followed closely by Finn. She wanted to run over to Finn and put her arms around him. Claim him in front of everyone so that they would know that they were together, that Finn was her boyfriend now. But she couldn't. She couldn't because she needed Finn to be the one to claim her. She needed him to make the first move in making their relationship public. And suddenly the thought came to her, do we have a relationship?

Finn immediately spotted her and flashed her a warm smile as he headed towards her. "Hey," he softly whispered as he sat down in one of the dark purple plastic chairs, his long legs spreading out in front of him at an uncomfortable angle. A relieved smile spread across her features as she carefully tucked her skirt underneath her and took the seat next to Finn. It was a nice beginning to what turned out to be a very normal practice. They tried a few different songs and some simple choreography. Mr. Schuester was in search of the perfect numbers for Regionals because he was determined to beat Vocal Adrenaline.

Rachel's competitive spirit was alive and well also, but she was distracted throughout practice by a feeling of disappointment. She had really wanted Finn to make some sort of grand declaration that they were now together so that the club could congratulate them on finally realizing their romantic dreams because of course they were all rooting for her and Finn, it would only make sense. Well maybe not Kurt. But still, most of them would at least be happy for them. Except Quinn, and from the sour expression on Puck's face perhaps he wouldn't be happy for them, either. Maybe that's why he hasn't said or done anything to show that their relationship had progressed passed the "just friends" stage. He was probably embarrassed or afraid of how their fellow glee clubbers would react to the news. This thought made her feel even more depressed and she was actually relieved when Mr. Schuester told them to wrap it up and head home.

She was about to leave when she heard a voice behind her. "So I talked to my Mom and she's willing to give me probation as long as I spend the time with my new tutor getting my grades up." She turned to see Finn standing behind her with a big lopsided grin plastered on his face and she couldn't help but smile. "That's wonderful. You should come over tonight after dinner. Bring your books and we'll get started."

"You do realize," Finn said with concern on his face, "that we don't have very many of the same classes."

Rachel gave him a reassuring smile. "I know, but I'm fairly certain I can help you anyway. The truth is Finn, if all you want to do is pass a class you just have to learn how to do the homework and take the tests. I can teach you some great memorization techniques and help you with a regular study program that will make it much easier for you to at least pass your classes. Who knows, along the way you may start to retain some of the information as well."

They were distracted from their conversation when a loud crash came from across the room and they both turned to see Puck and Quinn standing face to face. An upturned chair in the corner of the room answered where the noise had come from and Rachel gasped as she saw the hurt and anger in Puck's face before he stormed out of the room. Before she realized what was happening Finn had already crossed the room and wrapped his arms around a sobbing Quinn. The sight sent a familiar stab of jealousy through Rachel's heart and blinking back tears of her own she grabbed her bag and headed home.

* * *

Rachel sang mournfully into her camera that evening. She hadn't heard from Finn since she'd left him in the music room that afternoon comforting Quinn. When she reached her own car to head home she more heard than saw Puck's truck as he screeched his tires leaving the school grounds. She could only imagine what they'd been arguing about. Based on how Quinn had been when she was pretending that Finn was the father of her baby she was probably demanding some sort of support from Puck that he was either unwilling or unable to provide. After a quiet dinner with her fathers she had retired to her room to make that evening's MySpace video.

Singing always made her feel better. One day she would be a star. She was convinced of this fact with all her being. It wasn't because she had been gifted with such an amazing voice, either. That was just a perk. She was going to be a star because that's what she wanted and she worked hard for it. Rachel believed that if you worked hard enough and sacrificed enough for what you really wanted then eventually you would attain that goal no matter how many people stood in your way or tried to tell you otherwise. If you asked her why she sang so much she would tell you that in order to become a star you must work hard and singing was a skill. A skill she would practice and become perfect at until she attained her dreams. If she were going to be completely honest though, she would admit that she sang because she loved to and at the end of a long day full of rejection, disappointment, humiliation, and just plain loneliness the only thing that could make her feel better was to belt out a powerful melody. That's what made her feel special.

So that's what she was doing when there was a soft knock on her door. She frowned in frustration as she quickly walked across the room and turned the camera off. Her fathers knew that they weren't to disturb her during recording time and she had clearly posted the sign on the outside of her door. When she opened the door she was shocked to see Finn's tall frame taking up the doorway, his backpack slung casually over his shoulder. "Your dad said I could just come up. You sounded great, Rachel," he said as he walked into her room and set his bag beside her bed. "Of course, you always sound great."

"I didn't think you were coming over," she responded in surprise.

Finn looked confused. "Didn't we make plans for tonight? I thought you said I could come over after dinner and we'd get started on the tutoring stuff. Then maybe we could practice some other stuff," he said more quietly with a shy smile and a glint in his eyes.

"Didn't you already have your practice session with Quinn," Rachel said sharply as anger flashed in her eyes.

"Rachel!" Finn said in shock. "You know better than that."

"No, actually, I don't Finn," she replied as she accusingly pointed her finger at him. "What I do know is that you kissed me while you were still dating Quinn. You've used me multiple times for your own agenda or because you're unsure of what your own heart is telling you. My heart is not a yo-yo that you can just pull to you when it's convenient and then throw away when you see something you think is better." Rachel was on a roll now and she wasn't going to stop until she said what she'd been thinking all evening. "I can't handle the back and forth. Just a couple weeks ago you were telling Quinn that you were done with her and just last night you were telling me how you can't even stand to be at home because she's there, yet the instant she sheds a few tears because Puck's being an ass you're over there holding her and comforting her. And let's face it, Puck is always an ass, so really what was she expecting?"

The tiny, angry brunette across from him finally paused to take a breath and Finn used the opportunity to softly say, "I'm sorry." He was relieved when the two words made her at least pause and look at him for a moment. He decided to continue while he had the chance. "You're right, Rachel. For a long time I felt torn between you and Quinn, but a lot of that was because I felt like I had to stay with Quinn because she was carrying my child. That's gone now and I have chosen to be with you. I don't know what happened today, maybe it's old habits, but when I saw her crying I reacted without thinking and I'm so sorry that hurt you. You have no idea how sorry."

He stood there for a moment waiting for her response, wondering if she would just throw him out right then and there. Suddenly she was across the room, her small body pressed tightly against him as she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head against his chest. He felt the wetness on his shirt from her tears and it felt as if his heart were being torn from his chest. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He had just wanted to be there for Quinn, also. He wrapped her up in his embrace and slowly rubbed his hands across her back as he tried to comfort and reassure her.

Eventually, Rachel gained control of herself. She couldn't believe she'd cried like that in front of Finn, but when the anger had suddenly left her all she had been left with was the hurt and humiliation at how quickly it had seemed that Finn had returned to Quinn. "So," she said as she wiped her eyes and cleaned herself up with a tissue from her bedside table, "did she tell you what Puck was being a jerk about?"

"Yeah," Finn said as he settled himself on the edge of her bed. "I guess he's really pressuring her to let him be involved and stuff. You know, like, go to the doctor's appointments and help her with money. He even wants to have a say in who the adoptive parents are if she insists on giving the baby up, but he's told her that he'd be willing to raise the baby with her if she wants to keep it and stuff."

Rachel stared at Finn in utter shock. "Wait a minute. She was upset and crying today because the teenage father of her baby wants to take responsibility and support her?" she said incredulously.

Finn cocked his eyebrow at Rachel's tone. "She doesn't want his help," he said defensively, almost angrily. "Puck did quite enough when he knocked her up. She doesn't need anymore of his kind of help."

For the first time in her life Rachel Berry held her tongue. She wanted to point out to Finn the ridiculousness of the situation. She wanted to show him how hypocritical it was for Quinn to be perfectly willing to saddle Finn with the responsibility of a child that wasn't even his and yet not be willing to accept the offered help of the actual father. But she had heard the anger in his voice when he spoke about Puck and even though she wanted to ignore it she saw the way his face changed when he spoke of Quinn. Even though his ex-girlfriend had hurt him terribly there were still feelings there and Rachel didn't want to chase Finn away by defending the friend he was mad at and seemingly attacking the girl he obviously still cared about on some level.

Instead she swallowed the words that threatened to pour out of her, blinked back the tears that welled up in the corners of her eyes, and forced a soft smile on her lips. "Let's forget about Puck and Quinn and everything else for a while," she was finally able to say. Finn's smile was the only reply she needed as she sat down on the bed beside him and pulled the first book she could grab from his bag. "Oh," she said with true excitement, "I love _Watership Down_."


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I cannot express enough how awesome everyone has been about this story. I haven't written for a while and it's creatively invigorating to receive the kind of feedback I've received. To everyone who has put this on their story alerts, favorite story, and reviewed I thank you, thank you, thank you. And not to leave anyone out, thank you also to those who read anonymously without alerting. You are appreciated as well! Insert usual disclaimer about proper ownership here, i.e. Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, Ian Brennan, and Fox. "You sunk my battleship and you sunk it hard!" - quote belongs to Sue Sylvester, also not mine, tear:(**

**CHAPTER THREE**

Rain had been falling in Lima for most of the afternoon bringing with it a cold gray feeling that seemed to permeate more than just the ground and sky. Rachel quickly made her way down the eerily quiet hallway to her locker, grabbed her bag, slid her pink rain slicker on and gripped her pink and white striped umbrella in her hand. They only had eight weeks until Regionals and Rachel was determined to be ready. Even though all they had to do was place at Regionals to keep glee club going that was not enough for her. She wanted to win. She wanted to knock Vocal Adrenaline off its pedestal. So since Finn had told her he couldn't come over tonight because his mom insisted that he spend some time at home with her she had decided to stay late today and work on her vocals in the auditorium. She preferred the auditorium to her room anyway because she didn't have to hold back at all in there and the acoustics were amazing.

She had been working so hard that she hadn't realized what time it was and now the school was practically deserted with only the small janitorial staff roaming the halls. She pushed the heavy exit door open and stood underneath the eaves of the building as she opened the umbrella and made her way as quickly as possible toward her car. She had never been on the school grounds this late before and it felt strange to be the only car in the lot. Well, almost the only car, she thought as she turned the key in the ignition and noticed a truck parked a few spaces away. For an instant she thought it might be one of the janitor's, but then she recognized the _I knocked up your Honor Student_ bumper sticker and realized whose vehicle it was.

She began to pull out of the parking area, but a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach made her turn around and slowly drive by the sitting truck. There was no one in the cab and she sighed to herself, "What are you doing Rachel? I'm sure Puck can take care of himself." But for some reason she continued through the lot wondering why his truck was still here. Detention was long over and she couldn't think of any other reason that Noah Puckerman would still be at school. Maybe his truck wouldn't start and he got a ride with someone else, she thought. Just as she decided to forget about it and go home she thought she saw a figure on the athletic field.

She pulled the car to a complete stop and squinted out the windshield through the pouring rain, her windshield wipers trying desperately to dry the glass and failing miserably against the now almost torrential downpour. Now she could see that there was definitely someone out on the track running laps. They ran with power and purpose and for a minute she just watched in wonder as the determined runner sped toward his goal, whatever invisible goal that was. He slowed to a stop in the curve of the track closest to her and now there was no mistaking the distinctive Mohawk on his head. His chest heaved and he ran his hands across his head, then made his way to the bleachers and sat down, his head bowed and shoulders sagging as if he were accepting his defeat by the storm.

She sat there for a moment debating with herself what she should do. Obviously he was okay, he's just running laps. Obviously he's _not _okay, she replied to herself, he's running laps in the _pouring rain_! No person in their right mind would be doing what Puck was right this moment, just sitting in the cold rain freezing to death. He was going to get sick. And that made up her mind for her. They had to win Regionals and there was no way she was letting one of her teammates put themselves in danger of catching pneumonia and not being at maximum performing ability when it came time to dethrone Vocal Adrenaline.

Puck saw the pink umbrella walking toward him out of the corner of his eye but chose to ignore Berry as she stood next to him. She was silent for a moment as she stood there holding the umbrella in a way that it would provide some protection for both of them. He was shivering from the cold but didn't want to admit it so he sat there willing himself to be a stone. "What are you doing, Noah?" she finally asked.

"Enjoying the rain," he said sharply.

"You're going to catch pneumonia," she began lecturing, "and then you'll be of no use to us at Regionals. You need to go home, change your clothes, and get warm."

He turned toward her, his eyes flashing with barely controlled anger. "You know what I think, Berry. I think you need to mind your own damn business. You ever think that's why nobody likes you? You walk around this place like you're above it all, but really you just want to be right in the mix, always putting your nose in where it doesn't belong. Can't keep your stupid mouth shut!" He felt a slight twinge of guilt when his words caused her to take a sharp breath and her eyes began to brim with tears. But it was just a slight twinge.

Rachel was quiet for a moment as his words rolled over her. She let the initial hurt of his outburst sink away the same way she did everything that people in this school said about her. She was bigger than them, bigger than this town, and she wasn't going to let their small mindedness bring her down. Besides she was pretty sure that Puck wasn't really mad at her, she was just an easily accessible target right now. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

Puck looked back up at her in surprise. He had thought that she would leave. That after his little tirade that really had nothing to do with her she would effect one of her famous storm outs and leave him in peace. Instead he looked in her brown eyes and saw compassion and it made him look away. He glared out at the rain soaked field and grunted, "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry that you're obviously hurting," she replied quietly. "I heard that Quinn isn't accepting your help with the baby. I'm sorry. That must be very difficult, especially since it's obvious that you really care about her and you want to take responsibility. It's actually very commendable of you, Noah," she continued to ramble, "not many boys in your situation would be doing what you're trying to do. I really respect you for it."

There was silence between them as the rain continued to fall, making a loud drumming sound on the umbrella liner with a softer percussion forming in the background from the pavement. "Thanks," Puck finally replied quietly. He paused and then mumbled, "I don't do apologies, but I didn't really mean what I said about you minding your own business. I'm just angry and you were easy." A smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth at the innuendo that had just slipped from him. He suddenly rose from his seat on the bleachers and crowded in under the haze of pink hovering over Rachel. He hadn't gotten any in a really long time. It had to be at least three weeks. Santana hadn't given it up since she found out about him and Quinn and without the summer months his pool cleaning business couldn't work its magic on the cougars.

He lowered his voice and stepped closer to the small brunette until they were inches apart. He could feel her breath heating up the air between them and a slow smile spread across his lips as he noticed her chest begin to rise and fall faster from their proximity to each other. "You know Berry. You're right. I could catch pneumonia out here in this cold rain." He slowly reached his hand up and gently ran a fingertip along her jawline. He didn't miss the tremor of her muscles or the darkening of her eyes as he said, "I know a way we could warm up together."

Rachel felt as if she were caught in a rip tide. She didn't know how things had gone from a quiet conversation between two friends to whatever was happening here. All she could feel was the heat from his body and when he ran his fingers along her skin she felt a shiver somewhere far away from her face. Finn! Her brain screamed at her and she quickly jumped away from the dangerous boy in front of her with the hazel green eyes that could see into her soul.

"That is not going to happen," she said fiercely. "I'm with Finn."

"Really?" Puck questioned her. "Because I haven't seen you two together any more than you were when he was dating Quinn. No kissing, no cuddling, not even any hand holding. So exactly how are you with Finn?"

Rachel glanced away from his eyes. She couldn't hold his stare because she knew his words were true, but she would never admit that to Noah Puckerman. "The way Finn and I express our feelings for each other is none of your business," she said defensively. "I was just trying to be your friend and in the matter of just a few minutes you've verbally attacked me, hit on me, and are now questioning my relationship with my boyfriend."

At Puck's raised eyebrows with her last statement she yelled, "He is my boyfriend! He's at my house almost every night. He eats dinner with my family. We make out...and stuff," she finished quietly, embarrassed by sharing too much, afraid that once again the boy in front of her would use her own words against her.

Puck didn't like the way it made his stomach feel when Rachel said she and Finn made out and he definitely didn't want to think about what the "stuff" was that they did together. Suddenly he was pissed again and once again there was a perfect target right in front of him. "You know what, I didn't ask for you to come over here, in the pouring rain, mind you. I never asked for your help Berry and I told you once before, we're not friends."

He saw her clench her jaw and waited for the tirade to begin, but it never came. Instead her brown eyes somehow got softer, if that was even possible, and she looked at him like she actually cared. "I'm sorry that you feel you have to take your pain and anger out on me," she said softly. "You may not be my friend, Noah, but I'm yours and if you need anything at all, whether it's to talk or to be angry or to have someone to just hang out with, I'm here." Then she turned, not in a storm out, but a slow determined turn, and walked back to her car.

He stood there watching her walk away. Stood in the rain like some pussy from some romantic chick flick watching the girl drive away. He felt the tightness begin in his chest and the stupid tears that only the rain could hide begin welling up in his eyes again as he watched the red tail lights disappear. "Shit," he muttered as he stood there drowning in the rain.

* * *

A strong wind had caused the skies to finally clear and now a bright moon was casting its glow through her window causing shadows to dance across her walls. She knew it was just from the tree outside and the wind causing the branches to shake and groan in protest against its power. Still, as she lay in her bed trying to fall asleep, she thought perhaps the dancing shadows were really a metaphor for the thoughts that were currently dancing around her head making sleep elusive.

She thought about Finn and Quinn and Puck and all the baby drama. It was obvious to her that Quinn loved Finn. The amount of deception she had perpetrated in order to have him be the father of her baby and keep him in her life proved that. Puck had most likely been a one time mistake and seeing how hot and sexy the boy was she could completely understand how that could happen. But it didn't excuse Quinn's actions, it just made them understandable.

As her thoughts turned again to Finn she thought about the time they'd been spending together lately. She truly did consider him to be her boyfriend. It was true that they hadn't gone out on an official date yet and he hadn't referred to her as his girlfriend, but ever since that first kiss they had been making out at every possible moment. She frowned to herself. Maybe not every possible moment. Only when they were alone in her room did Finn actually make any kind of romantic gestures. The absence of any show of affection from him when they were in public was glaring to her when it was happening. But when they were alone in her room and his lips brushed against hers and his tongue slid so effortlessly into her mouth and his hands glided over her body causing little electric currents as they moved she would forget all about the way she felt when they weren't alone and just drown in the way he made her feel when they were.

Then there was Puck. His words today at the bleachers had stung, but she wasn't angry at him. She kind of understood Puck. For some reason when she thought of him she pictured a wounded animal. She breathed in deeply as the realization struck her. That's what it was. Puck was like a dog that had been beaten down its whole life and instead of just lying down and giving up he decided to put on the front of being the meanest, baddest, junk yard dog around. He barked and growled and strutted around, putting on a good show to everyone that would listen that nobody better mess with him, but in reality underneath he was really just a scared puppy that had been mistreated too many times.

Rachel had been serious when she told Puck that she was his friend. Even though she told herself that it was because they were teammates and she needed him to win Regionals she knew that wasn't the whole truth. She felt a kinship to Puck that she couldn't quite describe even to herself. Most people would probably chalk it up to the way he looked and Rachel had to admit he was a fine specimen of the male gender, but she knew it was something deeper, more fundamental than just a physical appearance that made her feel connected to him.

As she sighed loudly and flipped around in bed trying to find a different position that might make her fall asleep she decided that she would do everything she possibly could to make him realize that she was there for him. After all, she knew what it felt like to have no friends and by the way most of the school was currently treating him she figured he could use all the friends he could get, even if it was just her.

* * *

Even after drinking a triple shot coffee on her way to school that morning Rachel still felt sluggish from lack of sleep. She desperately hoped that she'd be able to sleep better tonight as she listlessly rifled through her locker trying to think about what she needed for her first class. She did not feel like herself this morning at all and when she noticed who had just stopped and was standing next to her she groaned out loud. "What do you want Jacob?"

The socially stunted and sexually awkward boy leered at her. "Are you taking requests?"

"Don't be disgusting. I'm just wondering why you've chosen to stop by my locker this morning when I happen to know that your locker and first class are on the other side of the school."

"It cheers my heart to know that you've taken the time to know my schedule and where you can find me," he said in a whiny voice that was supposed to sound seductive but came off as pervy. "I do so enjoy our little game of cat and mouse, but lately I've felt more like the cat. If you want to be the cat for a while I've some ideas on how you can play with me." He reached out to run his hand down her arm and Rachel instinctively pulled back with a disgusted look on her face.

She was about to tell him exactly where he could go play his little games when a solid hulk of muscle came out of nowhere and slammed the much weaker boy into the closed row of lockers. Rachel gasped in shock as she watched Puck pin Jacob against the clattering metal with one arm. "I'm pretty sure the lady's told you a dozen times in a dozen different ways to get lost. Is there something wrong with your ears?" Puck growled menacingly.

"N-n-n-o," Jacob gasped in surprise and pain. "I-I-I came to get a quote for an article I'm doing about your Sectionals win."

"You want a quote? Here's one. Ten years from now there's going to be a sign outside this town that says "Welcome to Lima, Ohio, the Home of Rachel Berry" and those of us losers that still live here working our pointless 9-5 jobs are gonna remember how we had the opportunity to sing with the famous Broadway star, Rachel Berry. We'll talk about how we won Sectionals and Regionals and everything else and that's all we'll have is the memories that for a few years we were surrounded by a greatness we didn't appreciate."

Rachel stared in astonishment at Puck's words and Jacob looked from her then back to Puck and stuttered, "Y-y-ou really want me to quote you on that?" Puck grabbed the front of the boys shirt and shook him slightly against the lockers.

"I said it didn't I? Now I want you to listen to this next part real closely. You so much as look at Berry in a way that I don't think is appropriate I'll shove that damn tape recorder so far down your throat you'll need an ass doctor to remove it. Understood?"

All the curly haired boy could do to respond was nod his head and then run down the hallway the instant Puck released him. Rachel's mind was reeling from what had just happened and she stared in surprise at the boy still standing in front of her. "Noah," she finally managed to whisper. For the first time since he'd suddenly appeared he looked at her. His hazel eyes, darkened with anger, met her soft brown gaze and held it. Then just as quickly he turned and walked away.

"What was that all about?"

Rachel jumped in surprise at Finn's sudden appearance by her side, but she continued to look down the hallway in the direction Puck had disappeared to. A smile slowly spreading across her face she simply said, "Nothing. Puck was just being my friend," and closed her locker.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: First of all, disclaimer out of the way. I don't own Glee or its characters, please see other chapters for more detailed statements as to who does. Secondly, I really struggled with this chapter. I'm not entirely sure why, but I have re-read it about ten times and each time I have changed something in it, whether it was a different choice of word or adding more inner dialogue. Finally, I decided if I didn't just post it then it would no longer look anything like how I had initially intended. Soooo, without further ado I give you chapter 4 and wait with baited breath to see what you all think of it. Oooh, I'm so nervous. I still don't know why this one was so difficult to write.**

**CHAPTER FOUR**

"Noah!" Rachel called out as she rushed to catch him before he climbed into his truck and drove off. Puck stopped and turned, a smirk playing across his face as he watched the petite brunette walk quickly towards him. He hated to admit it, but he often enjoyed watching Berry. He got a kick out of the little tantrums she'd throw, how her face would blush pink with anger and her eyes got all dark and fiery. _I bet she's just as passionate in bed, _he thought but then quickly shoved that aside because there was no way he was thinking about having sex with Rachel Berry.

When she finally reached him she stood their quietly, almost shyly, trying to figure out what to say. "'Sup Berry?" Puck finally asked her. His mom was working a late shift at the hospital tonight and he had to get home to watch his little sister. He didn't have time to be standing here waiting for Rachel to figure out what she wanted to say.

"I just wanted to say thank you," she said quietly. She didn't know why she was suddenly so unsure of herself. It was ridiculous to be acting this way in front of him. _Get a grip,_ she told herself and then continued more confidently. "For what you did today with Jacob. I appreciated it very much and also what you said for his article. I think that may be the kindest thing anyone has ever said about me, so thank you."

"Whatever," Puck responded, "that kid's a perv." He looked at her standing there looking all hopeful and nice and for some reason he couldn't find the energy to be mean or brush her off. He looked down toward the concrete as he said, "He ever bothers you again you let me know."

She couldn't help the smile that appeared at his show of concern for her. When she had told him she'd be his friend she honestly had not expected him to return the feelings. "I will. Listen, Noah, I meant what I said yesterday. If you need to talk or if you need help with anything, I'm here."

He wanted to tell her to mind her own business or that he was a bad-ass and didn't need to talk to anyone, but for some reason he felt himself being honest with her, even if it wasn't about something truly important. "Actually, Miss Pillsbury told me today that I'm not going to graduate with my class unless I bust my ass the next couple years. Apparently, if you don't attend math class you can't take the tests and they fail you." He gave her a grin that said he totally knew he would fail the classes but hadn't cared until he realized it would mean staying in this high school another year.

Rachel laughed. This boy was not stupid, he just hated school and she could understand that because there were things she hated also. He hated the academics, but loved the social aspect and she was the complete opposite. She knew this stemmed from the complete opposite sides of the social hierarchy that they lived in. "If you need help with math I could help you with that. I have to admit I take very articulate and detailed notes. You could borrow them whenever you wish."

Puck flashed her a smile and then glanced at his watch. "Listen Berry, I have a date I can't be late for. Can I get those notes from you later?" He sure as hell wasn't telling her he had to get home to babysit his sister or his mom would kick his ass.

"Sure."

He still had a small smile on his face as he drove home for his "date" with his little sister. He'd never had a chick be just his friend before, but it was kind of cool having Berry around. Maybe he'd actually be able to graduate on time and appease his mother about his grades with Rachel's help. He hadn't intended on taking her up on the whole friendship thing, but this morning when he'd seen that sleazy Jacob kid talking to her he'd felt suddenly angry, almost protective, and then when he tried to touch her Puck had actually seen red. As soon as he'd come out of his rage and saw the look in her eyes he knew there was no backing out. They were friends and she was going to make sure they stayed that way. Puck shrugged to himself as he pulled into his driveway and jumped out of his truck. Oh well, at least he'd get something out of it, even if it wasn't sex.

* * *

"Rachel, it's a book about rabbits."

"No, it's not!" she cried vehemently.

Finn and Rachel both sat on her bed that evening facing each other and he couldn't help the smile on his face at how upset she was with him over a stupid book about rabbits. The tutoring thing had been going well for a couple weeks now and his mom was ecstatic about his rising grades. He was more ecstatic about all the alone time it afforded him with the pretty brunette.

He had to admit to himself that the practice they'd been putting in had helped him with his stamina. He wasn't sure if it was him getting better at controlling himself or Rachel's sharp learning curve. He'd noticed very quickly that when he would begin to near the point of no return Rachel would somehow slow things down. They wouldn't stop entirely, but she'd change positions or alter the way she was kissing him in some fashion that would help distract him and help him make it for longer periods before he'd have to excuse himself.

Now she sat across from him, her legs carefully tucked underneath her, the hem of her skirt so high up her thigh he had to actually concentrate on not looking down. He sat there with a lopsided grin on his face as she continued to rail against him for what he thought of the book they were reading in Lit class.

"You have to see beyond the bodies the characters inhabit. See the story for what it is. It's about friendship and adversity and people..."

"Rabbits," Finn interrupted.

She glared at him and continued, "Personages facing opposition together and becoming a stronger unit and individuals because of it. Hazel would have never left the warren if Fiver hadn't warned him about the coming dangers, but it was uncharacteristic for anyone to listen to someone like Fiver who by all accounts would seem like a weak person. And Bigwig..." she was interrupted by Finn suddenly pulling her to him in a long, slow kiss. The discussion about the merits of _Watership Down_ was quickly forgotten as she followed the descent of his body until they were both lying down amongst the pillows they had piled on her bed as support.

"You're so pretty," he whispered against her ear as he trailed kisses down her jawline and sucked gently on her neck. His hand traveled slowly down to the exposed thigh he'd been trying to ignore all evening and he smiled against her shoulder when he heard the soft purr of pleasure emanate from her throat. He let his fingers softly tickle her along the hem of her skirt. It had turned out she was extremely ticklish.

"Finn!" she yelped as a laugh bubbled up and she squirmed to make him stop. He raised himself up from where he'd been lying, an arm on each side of her, and smiled down into caramel-colored eyes that had just a few moments ago been so determined to prove a point and were now sparkling with happiness. His heart actually caught in his chest at the idea that he could make her look like that and was quickly followed by a sharp pang of guilt because he knew deep down that she cared more deeply for him than he did for her. To make the feeling go away he quickly captured her lips with his own.

She was shocked by the sudden urgency in his kiss. It had felt like they were on the verge of a playful make-out session until he looked at her so deeply and in an instant his lips were crushing hers. It felt almost uncontrolled and was slightly uncomfortable. He pushed his tongue inside her mouth and she felt a sudden urge to push him away because for some reason it just felt wrong. But this was Finn Hudson. She loved him. Had loved him for months. _He's just nervous_, she told herself as she tried to make adjustments to compensate for his amateurish enthusiasm. Then she felt his hand roughly move up her leg and cross the threshold of her skirt, somewhere he had never ventured previously. Before she knew what was happening his fingers were pulling at her panties and her eyes flew open in surprise. That was when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye and with almost inhuman strength she pushed Finn off of her and quickly jumped off the bed.

Puck leaned against her door jam with a smirk on his face, but something else in his eyes. In truth he hadn't been there long, but it had been long enough to see Finn's clumsy attempt to get in Rachel's pants. He didn't know why it made him so angry to see his former best-friend pawing Berry. He definitely wasn't jealous. That was for sure. The fact that the first thought he'd had was _if he were in Finn's place Berry'd be begging for more, not acting like she didn't know what the hell you were thinking putting your hand there _he chalked up to being a stud and all women would feel that way about him when compared to the clumsy oaf now pulling himself off the carpet.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Finn seethed, his face turning red either from embarrassment or rage. Puck chose embarrassment.

He nodded slowly towards Rachel, still maintaining the easy smirk that seemed to be a permanent fixture to his features. "Berry here offered to help me with my math classes." He gazed languidly at Rachel. She could see the laughter in his eyes and with her own eyes she begged him not to say it, but he was Puck after all. "If I'd known she was teaching sex ed I would have signed up for that, too. Give her a little taste of the Master class instead of the Intro course."

Finn flew across the room at Puck, slamming him against the wall. Puck grunted in pain and pushed the taller boy backward. Using a move he'd picked up in 8th grade when he'd tried wrestling and then quickly decided it was way too gay, he used his leverage to throw Finn's center of gravity off, effectively pinning him to the floor. He could hear Rachel yelling at them to stop, but it was obvious Finn couldn't think of anything except destroying Puck. He flailed out his arms in an effort to strike at the shorter but far stronger boy and felt his fist connect with something far too soft to be Puck.

"Dude! What the hell is wrong with you!?" Puck suddenly yelled as he released Finn and rushed to Rachel who was now leaning against her bed in pain after having the wind knocked out of her from Finn's mislaid punch. Finn quickly pulled himself up and rushed to Rachel.

"Rach, I'm so sorry," he cried with concern. "I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she breathed out slowly as she fought back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"What is going on in here?"

All three turned toward the sound of the angry voice now coming from the doorway as both of Rachel's dads crowded into the room after hearing the commotion coming from their daughter's bedroom. "Rachel, honey, are you okay?"

She tried to give them a reassuring smile. "I'm fine Daddy. We were practicing some new dance moves for glee and things just got carried away." Puck glanced in surprise at the girl standing next to him. He had no idea she could lie so well, so quickly.

Her father looked from Finn to Puck and then landed decidedly on Puck with a glare that said _I don't think I'm hearing the truth and that Mohawk tells me you're the reason._ "Okay," her other father said as he tugged on his partner's arm indicating they needed to give their daughter a little privacy. "Let's just be more careful from now on."

As soon as her fathers were gone Puck put his hand gently on her shoulder, "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked with more concern than she thought she'd ever seen him show.

Finn's hand flashed out like lightening and shoved Puck away. "Get away from her," he said menacingly.

Rachel saw Puck's muscles tense in response and she quickly stepped between the two boys. "Stop! Both of you just stop!" she yelled angrily. "What is he even doing here?" Finn cried out in frustration. Rachel placed a calming hand against his chest as she quietly responded, "I offered to help him with math by letting him borrow my notes. He just came by to pick up my notes." Turning she looked at Puck with pleading eyes. "Right?"

Puck gritted his teeth and glared at the freakishly tall man baby. Part of him wanted to tell Finn that he'd actually come over for some damn hot sex. That every night when Finn slipped home after visiting his secret girlfriend that absolutely no one knew about, Puck would steal into her room and show her what it felt like to have a real man inside her. One look in Rachel's eyes and he couldn't do it. _God I'm such a bitch! _he screamed at himself. "That's right," was all that came out from his clenched jaw. The look of relief and thanks on Rachel's face almost made up for the stomach ache he was getting from having to swallow the choice words he'd wanted to throw at Finn.

As Rachel quickly found and handed him a **pink!** folder with her notes in it he gave Finn a final glance and said, "I know you don't want any advice from me, but for Berry's sake, maybe you could get some tips from Kurt about how he warms up his perfectly rising souffle." He turned with a satisfied smile spreading across his face and sauntered out of the room.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room after Puck's exit. Rachel slowly moved toward Finn in an effort to close the gap she suddenly felt widening between them, but she remained cautious, her muscles still aching from the accidental blow she'd received just moments before. Finn turned accusing eyes on her as he quietly asked, "Are you screwing him?"

"Finn!" she cried out in shock. "No! How could you even ask me that?"

"Puck has a habit of screwing my girlfriend, that's how!"

She stood there for a moment, reeling from his accusations and also elated that he had finally called her his girlfriend. "Finn," she said quietly, calmly trying to reason with him. "Puck and I are just friends. I promise you, that is all we are and that's all we'll ever be. We tried the dating thing and it didn't even last a week. And do you know why?" She paused as she waited for Finn to look at her. When he finally did she said, "Because I love you. You are who I want to be with." There was a sad look in his eyes, but she chalked it up to everything he'd been through lately.

"Why Puck?" he finally asked her. She could hear in his voice that he'd finally calmed down and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. "Why do you have to be friends with Puck? I don't trust him."

"But you trust me, right?" she said with a soft smile on her face as she closed the distance between them and slowly wrapped her arms around his waste and gazed up into his soft brown eyes. "Puck's my friend and you're going to have to deal with it the same way I deal with you living in the same house as Quinn. But I trust you and you trust me and that's all that matters."

Finn gazed at her for a moment, the words she had just spoken whirling in his head. She loved him and trusted him. Did he trust her? Without a doubt he trusted her. He knew she was totally into him and her professed love for him just confirmed that. Should she trust him? That he couldn't answer and didn't want to. There were things he was feeling that he couldn't share with her because he knew it would just hurt her to know that he was still conflicted about Quinn. He had feelings for these two very different girls. Feelings he couldn't define and that he didn't know what to do with. He just knew that things were easy with Rachel and he didn't want to hurt her.....or Quinn. Finally he mumbled, "I guess so."

Rachel buried her head against his chest and breathed in the faint hint of cologne that clung to him. His arms slowly wrapped around her and he pulled her close as his hand made slow circles on her back. She felt his head rest against the top of hers and the closeness made her heart swell with so much happiness she thought she might burst. From her vantage point there was no way for her to see the look of doubt on Finn's face as he tried to process everything that had happened that night.

**P.S. I have also broken my own rule about not posting a chapter until I at least have the next one in rough draft form, so it may be a bit until the next update, depending on how late I can make myself stay up tonight. Please review if you have time, I do so enjoy hearing your comments.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Wow, so this ended up being my longest chapter so far. Sorry it took so long, family issues have reared their head and I've found myself unable to write either for lack of time, energy, or emotional stamina. So I finally got this one done. Let me know what you think. The usual ownership disclaimers apply.**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Noah Puckerman did not do malls. In fact he really hated them. They were too bright and made his head hurt within twenty minutes of walking the hard tiled floors. If you could even call it walking. It was more like human bumper cars where everyone went wherever the hell they wanted at whatever speed they wanted with no regard for the people in front of or behind them. The Musak system could be heard just enough over the din of mothers getting after their sticky fingered children and little pre-teen girls screaming at each other about "how cute" some stupid outfit was that you'd find yourself humming some gay show-tune hours later and realize it was musical herpes you caught at the mall.

And don't even get him started on the smells. The warm smell of freshly baked Cinnabon's – mouth-watering. The musky smell of expensive leather – hell yeah. The sweet aroma of womanly lotions and oils – damn sexy. By themselves. Mix them all together into one enclosed space and it was a putrid stench that stuck in his nose and made him breath deeply as soon as he exited the confines of Lima Mall. It was an all out assault on his senses and Noah Puckerman fucking hated the mall.

Yet, here he was on a Saturday afternoon, weaving his way through those same crowds and braving those same sounds and smells with one purpose in mind. Get in, get out. His last set of guitar strings had busted last night and he needed to pick up some new ones. He would have gone to his favorite music store downtown which was much cooler and more his style, dark and musty, for real musicians except for the fact that his sister's birthday was coming up and he needed to get the little squirt something better than the bag of candy he'd gotten her last year. What?! It was her favorite candy!

He was so focused on getting the strings as quickly as possible and then maybe going to the stuffed animal store and getting the first soft thing he could spot that he didn't hear his name being called at first. "Noah!" Somewhere it registered and he slowed, but then he figured it was someone else named Noah and picked his speed up until he heard the same voice again call out a very distinct, "Puck!" He stopped and looked around with a grimace on his face. He wasn't sure who had spotted him in this place, but he was damn well going to make sure they didn't spread it around. Then he saw her sitting at a table in the food court waving her arm at him. He waved back and was about to continue on when she motioned for him to come over. Normally he would have pretended to not see her and moved on, but the fact was she'd already spotted him and she knew he had seen her, so he figured what the hell could it hurt?

As he approached her table a frightening realization struck him. She was damn hot. Her dark brown hair was in big curls today that seemed to float around her face and cascade over her shoulders. She was wearing this little red button-up shirt that was open just the right amount and pulled tight in all the right places and he couldn't see it from where he was, but he was pretty sure she was rocking one of her trademark short skirts. Her eyes were bright and there was a huge smile on her face as he walked up to her and instead of sitting in the chair directly opposite her, he pulled it to the side so he could sit at an angle. Close enough to _accidentally _brush against her, but still able to look into her face as they spoke.

"Hey Berry," he said nonchalantly, "you look super sexy today. What's the occasion?"

Rachel couldn't hide the blush that immediately burned her cheeks at his comment. "There's no occasion. I didn't do anything special. Are you trying to make me feel self-conscious?"

"No," Puck grinned, "I'm trying to give you a compliment. You're really working that top. It's probably a good thing you weren't wearing it the other night or me walking in wouldn't have stopped anything from happening."

If it were possible, Rachel turned even more red. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that."

Puck readied himself for the lecture he was about to get. He'd kind of avoided Rachel the last few days for that very reason. He knew he'd been out of line with his sexual comments about Rachel, but he couldn't help himself and there had been a time when Finn would have realized that Puck was just being Puck and wouldn't have freaked out so much. The last thing he wanted to hear was Rachel shouting the praises of Finn to him and telling him he needed to be more understanding of what Finn was going through. What about what _he's _going through?

"I wanted to apologize," she said quietly. Puck looked at her in surprise. This was not what he was expecting. "Finn should have never attacked you like that. Physical violence isn't the answer to anything. I think that he was embarrassed by what you had witnessed and then when you made that comment he just snapped and I'm sorry that a physical altercation took place." When she finished she gave him a soft smile and then took a long drink of her soda.

Puck sat there in silence for a moment. When he finally spoke his voice sounded more harsh than he meant, but it was effective because as soon as he said her name she locked eyes with him and he could see that she was truly hearing him. "Rachel, don't you ever apologize for Finn Hudson again." There was a heavy silence between the two of them as they held each others gaze, a multitude of unanswered questions and unspoken emotions being transferred with just a look. Puck finally broke eye contact and nervously grabbed a fry from the plate in front of her. "So, how are you feeling? Are you really okay?" he asked as he fiddled with the fry and then decided to pop it into his mouth.

Rachel gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm truly fine, Noah. Honestly, I've suffered worse injuries trying to do some of Mr. Schuester's choreography than I sustained that night. And no one's to blame, either. It was just an accident. I should have known better than to try to get between you two."

The two friends sat together in comfortable silence as Puck ate the remainder of Rachel's fries and then finished off her soda when she insisted she was done. Finally he asked, "So what are you doing here anyway, Berry? Meeting up with Kurt and Mercedes for girly shopping shit?"

Rachel let out a little snort laugh. "They don't really hang out with me outside of glee club. I do my own shopping, but today I'm just people watching." Even though she smiled when she said it, Puck could see the hurt in her eyes that she tried so hard to hide. People didn't like Rachel Berry and she couldn't understand why. At that moment, Puck couldn't understand why either. He was starting to realize that Rachel Berry was pretty damn cool. She didn't judge people and she seemed to always want to see the good in them, sometimes a little too much. But still that was a nice quality to be around, especially if you were always screwing up. She was talented and smoking hot and sexy and she had legs that seemed to go forever and full pouty lips and perky little breasts that he just wanted to suck on...... whoa, what the hell was he thinking? Puck coughed a little and looked down at the table as he tried to compose his thoughts.

"So what are you doing here?" Rachel asked, completely oblivious to the discomfort Puck was currently experiencing.

"Uh, strings," Puck muttered. He forcefully pushed thoughts of a sexual nature from his mind as he cleared his throat and continued. "I have to get some new guitar strings."

"Would you mind having some company?" Puck wanted to tell her that, yes, he actually did mind. That he wanted to get out of this mall hell as quickly as possible, but then he made the mistake of looking into those milk chocolate eyes of hers. Eyes that were practically begging for companionship, for someone to willingly spend time with her in public because they liked her and not for any other reason than that. _Shit, I'm reading her eyes now_, Puck thought to himself. And even so, he found himself saying, "Sure," as he rose from his seat and threw her garbage away for her. The smile on her face as they walked together back into the flowing mass of mall goers actually made his mall experience almost bearable. Almost.

Loud thumping music greeted them as they entered the brightly lit store. Puck knew where they kept the guitar strings and he headed directly for the correct aisle. There weren't very many people in the store and he figured it wouldn't be too long before this place was replaced with a Hickory Farms outlet. He made his purchase quickly and headed out of the store with Rachel right beside him the whole time. "You probably have to come here a lot," she finally spoke up as she tried to make some kind of conversation.

"Not really," he responded. "I actually hate the mall and try to avoid it at all costs. I usually go to this little shop on Main Street."

Rachel looked at him questioningly and asked, "Then why are you here today?"

Puck sighed and cast her an uncomfortable look. Grudgingly he admitted, "My little sister's birthday is coming up and I have to get her something. And it has to be good to make up for last year."

"What did you get her last year?" she asked with a smile.

"Let's just say it was not appreciated by her or by my mother so this year has to be off the hook." Rachel let out a loud, genuine laugh as they walked the corridor together. Her laugh was infectious and he smiled down at her. _What the hell is happening to me?_ he thought to himself. A few months ago he was tossing slushies in this girls face without a second thought and now the idea of anyone doing that to her made him want to rip their face off. She was loud and opinionated and could be totally crazy. Sometimes she talked way too much about really boring crap, but she also spoke her mind and he thought that was really hot. She knew what she wanted out of life, like her dreams and shit, and she was determined to reach them and that was damn sexy. The worst part was that he was beginning to realize that when he was with Rachel Berry he felt more like himself than he did when he was with anyone else. There were no games with Berry. There was no need, because somehow she seemed to be able to see him for who he was and accept him that way. No one in his entire life had ever made him feel like just being Noah Puckerman was enough and yet somehow this laughing, crazy girl walking beside him did that without even trying.

"Would you like some help?" she asked him, the joy of being able to offer her assistance in some way bubbling up in her voice.

"That'd be cool."

"Okay," Rachel said as she clapped her hands together and held them in front of her as if she had been trying to catch an idea that was floating through the air. Her brow quirked quizzically toward him as she asked, "How old is she going to be and what kind of things is she interested in?"

Puck thought for a minute and then he said, "She's going to be ten. She likes ponies and dolls, you know, girly shit."

Rachel suddenly became very excited. "Ten! Oh, Noah, this is an important birthday. We have to make sure this is the perfect gift that she'll always treasure because her big brother got it for her on her double digit." Puck looked at her as if she were speaking a different language, but he couldn't help the small smile that pulled at the edges of his mouth because she was so cute when she was excited about something. _Pussy!_ he yelled at himself as he realized he just thought Rachel Berry was cute.

"Why is ten so damn important?" he asked her even as he regretted letting the question come out of his mouth.

She looked at him with utter shock. "Noah, turning ten is one of the biggest, most important birthday's a person can have," she began to explain to him in a very serious manner. "Aside from eighteen, twenty-one, and then the decade markers, ten is huge. HUGE!" she emphasized. "It's the only time in your entire life that you'll turn from being a single digit age to a double digit. The only time, Noah! This present has to be perfect." At his concerned look she reassured him, "Don't worry about the price. Perfect presents don't always come in the most expensive packages. It just means that we have to think of something that's really going to mean something to her."

Rachel chose that moment to grab him by the hand and drag him over to an empty bench in the meridian of the mall corridor. The feel of her hand in his shot through him like an electric current. He had held her hand before, hell, he'd even kissed her before, but at the time it had been about him wanting to get in her pants because she was a hot Jew and it would get his mom off his case. Suddenly everything was becoming about Rachel and it felt different. Her hand was small, soft, and warm and it felt as if it fit perfectly in his larger, strong, guitar-calloused hand. When they sat down she let go of him and he missed the feeling of her hand in his even though he could still feel the lingering warmth of her. He inconspicuously wiped his hand along his leg as he tried to remove the empty feeling he was now left with.

"Are you certain she likes horses and Barbies or were you just saying that because they were the first girly things you could think of?"

Puck gave her a knowing smile. He couldn't believe how much this girl got him. "So I'm not sure about the Barbies, but I definitely know she loves horses. She's always begging our mom to get her riding lessons and she makes me watch these boring horse movies over and over. _The Man From Snowy River_ is pretty cool because he has a whip like Indiana Jones, but that stupid _Flicka_ movie makes me want to claw my own eyes out."

Rachel smiled to herself. The very fact that he admitted that he watched those movies with his sister proved that he cared for her. She had often wondered what it would have been like if her fathers had decided to have another child. She hoped that she would have been just as caring an older sibling as Puck seemed to be. "Okay, so she likes horses. She's probably too young for make-up yet, but jewelry is on the table. Can you think of anything else?"

"Yeah, no make-up until she's at least thirteen," Puck said a little too harshly, which made Rachel feel sorry for any boy that showed interest in the young girl. "Um, she's really into animals right now. She keeps saying she wants to be a vet when she grows up. You know, the kind that's an animal doctor, not the kind that's served in a war."

Rachel was about to advise Puck that she knew exactly which kind of vet he had been referring to when she noticed that his hazel eyes were sparkling with laughter. She laughed out loud and playfully hit his arm as she ignored the tiny flip her stomach made when she had made contact with those intense hazel eyes. Puck was an extremely attractive male and she knew she was not immune to his charms, however she was in a committed relationship and refused to even entertain the possibility of anything more than friendship with the handsome, well-built, charming, confident, funny, sexy....._STOP!_

Puck couldn't help but wonder exactly what had just happened. They were laughing together, completely comfortable and suddenly Rachel turned bright red and wouldn't look up at him. Now her head snapped up, her eyes bright with excitement, and there was a smile on her face as she leaped up from the bench and proclaimed, "I have an idea!"

When they had reached their destination Puck stood in the small cramped store trying to get his bearings. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. "Do you know why women love jewelry, Noah?" Rachel asked him quietly as she began slowly scanning the glittering items displayed everywhere.

"Because they like guys to spend money on them."

She smiled at him as if to say _silly man_ and slid her hand gently down his arm as she took a step further into the store. Puck clenched his jaw as pleasurable shivers ran up his spine. "Women like jewelry because it's pretty and it makes them feel pretty," Rachel instructed him. "But the main reason is because when you wear jewelry you take a memory with you. You can finger your necklace or look down at the ring or bracelet on your hand and you think about the person who gave it to you and the intentions that were behind it." She turned and gave him a full on mega-watt smile, but he could see a sadness in her eyes that confused him when she said, "Just think about it Noah. Someone cared enough to actually spend time finding something that made them think of you, then they went to the trouble of purchasing it, wrapping it up and giving it to you so that when you wear it you can think of them. Jewelry is a memory when it's given as a gift." She pointed toward one side of the store. "Why don't you start on that side and I'll start on this side and we'll meet in the middle with any ideas."

Rachel was searching for maybe five minutes when she stumbled on something she thought would be the perfect gift for Noah's sister. With an excited smile on her face she quickly headed over to Puck, but her smile slowly faded when she noticed the look on his face. Puck was standing still gazing at a display of tiny ankle bracelets with a look of pain and sadness in his eyes that Rachel had never seen before. It made her heart ache. She stood beside him for a moment and when he didn't acknowledge her presence she gently placed her hand on his upper arm and softly spoke, "Noah."

Puck turned his gaze to her and she could see his hazel eyes were dark with emotion. He swallowed hard and she watched his Adam's apple move up and down with the effort. "They're so tiny," he finally whispered.

"Babies are tiny, Noah," Rachel responded quietly as she turned her gaze to the small display of ankle bracelets for babies and toddlers. They stood quietly together for what felt like a long time just staring at the display, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

Finally Puck spoke up. "She's going to give her away." Rachel could hear the resentment and anger in his voice. "Quinn. She's just going to give my little girl away to strangers and let them raise her and I don't get to say shit about it."

"That's not true Noah," Rachel contradicted him as she once again made direct eye contact. For an instant he thought Rachel was actually defending Quinn until she continued. "You do have a say in it. You're that baby's father and Quinn can't give her up for adoption without your written consent. It's the law. It wouldn't be a legal adoption without your consent and you could contest it if you wanted to."

Puck gave her a questioning look. "I could?"

Rachel nodded. "You could. You have options Noah and Quinn may act like she's the one with all the power, but she didn't make that baby alone and these days fathers have just as many rights as mothers do. There are a lot of options you could consider. If you're interested I'd be willing to help you do some research on what your legal options are."

He was silent for a while as what she had said slowly sunk in. All this time he'd been so angry because it seemed like Quinn was the one that got to make all the decisions. She acted like having the baby only affected her. He was willing to give her credit, she was actually carrying the little munchkin, but that kid was half of him too. A relieved smile slowly spread across his face. "I'd appreciate that Rachel." She tried not to blush, but there was a different in the way he said her first name and for some reason it gave her a warm feeling inside.

"On another note, I think I may have found the perfect birthday present," she said as she dragged him back to where she had been a few moments before. Puck stared at the display before him. "I don't get it," he finally stated after staring at the racks for a few confused moments.

Exasperated Rachel explained. "It's a charm bracelet. You buy the bracelet and then you can add whatever charms you want to it. See look," she said pointing excitedly at a few different charms, "they have a horse, or you could get her that horseshoe. Oh and look there's a dog, and a cat, and a stethoscope." Rachel's voice became more and more excited as she found more small charms to attach to the bracelet than could actually fit on it. "Noah! You could get her a couple animals and the stethoscope as a way to remind her about her dream of being a veterinarian. I bet she would love that because not only would it be something she loves, but it would let her know that you actually listen to her and know what she likes."

Puck laughed at her enthusiasm. "Okay, okay Berry. I'll get her a charm bracelet. Just give me a minute to figure out which ones to get." Rachel stood there for a moment as Puck took his time turning the display around and around as he searched for the perfect charms to add to the bracelet. Very slowly she turned and acted as if she were very interested in some watches off to the side and then just as stealthily she made her way back to where she had stood with Puck just moments before. She knew which one he had liked. He hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of it. Quickly she glanced over her shoulder towards Puck who was still completely wrapped up in what he was doing. She grabbed the tiny bracelet and made her way to a register on the other side of the small store, purchased it and went to stand next to Puck as he watched the bracelet be wrapped up in shiny gold paper with stars all over it.

"Did you get yourself something?" Puck asked as he looked down at Rachel's bag.

"I couldn't resist," she answered simply.

The cashier handed Puck a bag with his wrapped purchase inside and thanked him. He nodded and then walked with Rachel out of the store. "So I guess that's mission accomplished." They stood in the corridor outside the open doors, unsure of what to do next. Puck knew he wanted to spend more time with Rachel, but he definitely wasn't doing it in the mall. "Thanks for all your help Berry. There's no way I could have found something like this on my own."

"You're very welcome Noah. I'm glad I could be of assistance to you, after all that's what friends are for, right?" Puck smiled at her and she realized she didn't want this afternoon to end. It was the first time in her entire high school career she could remember actually just hanging out and having fun with a friend on a Saturday afternoon. "Um, Noah. Finn has some plans tonight, so I'm free, you know, if you wanted to come over. We could do some of that research, maybe watch a movie. You could have dinner with us."

The words had come out quickly in a flourish of nervous energy and then they hung there in the air, waiting in the breath that Rachel was holding. Puck smiled down at her, "That sounds cool." And with that response she breathed again. Not knowing why she had become so nervous she decided to ignore it as she just enjoyed walking next to her friend as they left the mall behind them.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! Also for all the favorites and story alerts. The response has been really awesome and I so appreciate it. Same disclaimers as before, obviously I own nothing, just borrowing some characters. I promise I'll put them back when I'm done. Please continue to let me know what you think.**

**CHAPTER SIX**

Rachel couldn't believe that she had just spent the entire afternoon and now most of the evening hanging out with Noah Puckerman. When they had arrived at her house that afternoon they had spent about half an hour online looking up different things about adoption and the rights of a father. It had soon become far too serious for Puck and they had quickly turned to him finding hilarious videos on YouTube that she had never seen before.

Puck loved making her laugh. He had to admit that it was definitely one of his top ten enjoyable sounds. Then he noticed she had a Wii game system and they spent the next hour or so taking turns kicking each others asses in bowling, baseball, and tennis. Neither of them had really noticed the smiling looks her fathers kept giving each other. They were both overjoyed to hear her laughing and joking with someone in her own age group. Even if it was that boy with the Mohawk. Puck stayed for dinner and then he and Rachel retired to her room. Rachel's words, not his.

"Man, Berry, I will never get used to this room," Puck said as he flopped onto her bed and then made himself comfortable amongst her many pillows. Rachel laughed at him as she took the chair by her vanity. "It's just so damn girly."

"You may not have noticed this, Noah, but I do happen to be a girl," Rachel replied in an obviously fake hurt tone.

"I've noticed," Puck replied with a sly grin as his eyes raked over her small body.

Rachel blushed under his gaze. "Noah, we're just friends. You shouldn't say things like that to me. I love Finn and that's what makes him so angry and jealous is your inappropriate comments to me."

"Whatever," Puck replied angrily. He was sick of hearing about how much she loved Finn. "He's not even here. And why is that? It's a Saturday night. Shouldn't your "boyfriend" be taking you out somewhere or at least be the one laying on your bed right now?"

Rachel's back instantly grew rigid. "First of all, I don't appreciate your air quotes around boyfriend. Finn is my boyfriend, in fact, just the other night he said so himself."

"To someone else or just to you?"

She chose to ignore Puck's argument and barreled on. "Secondly, he's not here tonight because his mom needed help moving furniture around today and he had chores to do around the house. So as much as he wanted to spend time with me he had other obligations which I completely understand."

"So he had to stay around his house today," Puck replied as he looked at Rachel and tried to make her see what he saw so clearly. He knew he couldn't say it straight out. She would fight the very idea of it if it was something he was saying, but if he could lead her to the realization herself then she couldn't argue with that. "All day with Quinn."

She was silent as his words sunk in. It was nothing she hadn't thought about herself, tormented herself with it really. He could see the struggle in her eyes. She wanted so much to believe in Finn. To believe that he loved her the way she loved him. But Puck knew what kind of a spineless indecisive boy Finn could be. The guy had no balls. He was hoping she would finally be able to see that Finn was no good for her. That he didn't deserve someone as confident and sure of herself and beautiful as Berry.

Finally Rachel spoke and Puck's heart sank at the realization that she was determined to stick it out with Finn. "I spent all day with you. Does that mean that Finn should doubt my faithfulness to him? He wouldn't do that because he trusts me. I trust him. As much as I don't trust Quinn I know that she hurt him too much for him to ever take her back as anything more than just a friend. Finn would never hurt me like that." He knew there was no point in arguing with her about it anymore so he kept his mouth shut even though there was anger and resentment in his eyes. What exactly was it about Finn that made girls fall all over themselves for him? He grabbed one of her pillows and began tossing it into the air just to catch it and toss it again.

She was quiet as she watched him angrily throw her pillow up and down. She hadn't meant to hurt his feelings, but she could see that obviously something she said had done just that. Puck was her friend and as attractive as he was that didn't matter because her heart belonged to Finn. She had told him she loved him and he had said she was his girlfriend. They were now together and Rachel would never be unfaithful to that. She wasn't naive enough to think that she and Finn would always be together, but right now her heart was so wrapped up in him that she couldn't imagine being with anyone else. "So when's your sister's birthday?" she asked, her voice coming out a little too loud in the awkward silence that had crept into the room.

"Tomorrow."

Rachel laughed out loud and Puck had to stop tossing the pillow and chuckle along with her. "Well that's not procrastinating at all!"

He laughed at that. "I'm not really good at planning stuff." _If I was Quinn wouldn't be knocked up with my kid right now_, he thought to himself. Rachel saw the dark look that fell across his face and knew instantly what he was now thinking about.

"Do you want to be a father, Noah?" she suddenly asked. He looked at her as he pulled himself up to a sitting position on her bed. He was quiet for a long time as he thought seriously about her question.

"My old man wasn't a good dad. He's not even a good man. He just took off six years ago and we haven't heard from him since, which is good and bad in a whole lot of ways. But I see my little sister, like, struggle with his absence. She tries to hide it, but on the big days, like tomorrow, it's harder to hide the pain of thinking that the man who's supposed to love you more than his own life doesn't give a shit about you. I don't want my kid to think that I don't love her. I don't want her to spend one single day, let alone her birthday or Hanukkah thinking that her father didn't care enough about her to stick around or to fight for her. Do I want to be a father? Not at my age, no. Do I have a choice about it now? Not really."

In that moment she had no words for him. It was the most she'd ever heard him speak in one breath and the most honest he'd ever been with her, possibly even with himself. She slowly rose from her chair and walked across to the bed. Puck watched her cross the room to him and in the back of his mind he thought maybe she was going to make out with him again. But she simply sat down on the edge of the bed and took his hand in hers. Then very quietly she said, "I want you to know that I'm not trying to sway you in any direction. Whatever decision you make regarding your daughter I will support you as your friend. Just please think about what I'm about to say when you're trying to make your decision. I know you love her and that you want her to have everything that you haven't had. But when you truly love someone you want what's best for _them_, and that's not always going to be what's easiest for you. Maybe by letting her be adopted you'd be giving her an opportunity to feel that love from a father that you've never felt. Maybe she'll feel the love from both of her fathers. From the one who has raised her and provided for her and given her love every day of her life and from the one who was wise enough to realize that he wasn't in the position to give her all of those things himself, but was willing to sacrifice his own heart to make sure that she got them."

_What the fuck!_ Rachel Berry was not going to make him fucking cry. He felt his chest constricting and horrible spasms in his neck muscles as he fought back the emotions she had raised in him. He quickly slid from the bed and looked down at the floor as he tried to compose himself. Finally he was able to speak. "Listen, Berry, thanks for your help today with everything. I have to get home now. My mom's going to be pissed I didn't mow the lawn."

Rachel stood quickly from her seat on the edge of her bed. His sudden withdraw worried her. She hadn't meant to say all those things. She definitely didn't want to scare him off from hanging out with her again. She hadn't had this much fun with someone on a Saturday since.....well, she'd never had this much fun on a Saturday with anyone. "Noah," she whispered, terrified that her big mouth was once again going to make her lose a friend.

He looked back at her as he stood in her doorway and flashed her a genuine smile that put her mind at ease. "I'll consider it," he simply said as he turned and left.

* * *

Rachel was humming softly to herself Monday morning as she transferred her bag to her locker and retrieved her first period books. For the first time in months it felt as though everything in her life was falling into place. She finally had a really close friend along with a small group of kind of friends in glee club. She had a boyfriend. She smiled as she thought of Finn. He had come over for dinner with her family on Sunday and then they had "practiced" in her room. Things with glee club were really coming along. Regionals were just two weekends away and she felt really prepared. The club was sounding great and Mr. Schuester had found some great songs and then worked out amazing arrangements for them. Yes, things were definitely looking up in Rachel Berry's life.

"Berry, you're a genius!" She turned quickly in the direction the loud shout had come from and suddenly found herself wrapped up in muscular arms, lifted off the ground and swung around. She laughed in spite of her surprise. As Puck set her back down on the ground she smoothed out her skirt and looked up at him with sparkling brown eyes.

"What exactly did I do to deserve such high praise from you?" she asked with a smile.

"My sister went bananas over the bracelet. Like, ape-shit bananas!" Puck laughed. "And my mom was super impressed, too. You really helped me out Berry. I can't even tell you what a score that was. I could probably get away with shit for at least a couple months off that gift."

Rachel laughed out loud at his excitement and gratitude. Leave it to Puck to see how giving someone a gift could benefit him in the long run. She stopped laughing when she noticed he was holding something out to her. It was a small box wrapped with gold starred wrapping paper. "Noah?" she questioned as confusion replaced her laughing smile. It was the box she'd seen the cashier wrapping when she'd walked back up to him in the store. She had assumed it was his little sister's gift.

"It's just a thank you, you know, for helping me out. And we're friends now. I'm pretty sure friends do stuff for each other and give each other gifts and shit, right?" He stood there, uncomfortable and nervous. When he'd made the purchase he'd told himself that he'd save it and give it to her in private or maybe after she finally saw Finn for the douche he was and broke up with him. But his sister had really flipped over the gift and that was all Berry's idea. He'd had it with him just in case and when he saw her standing there, laughing and smiling, he'd just reacted and pulled it out of his bag. Now there was no taking it back. "It's got gold stars. I know you like those." _How lame are you!?_

Rachel slowly took the small box from his outstretched hand. Her mind was going at warp speed as she tried to remember the last time anyone had given her a gift when it hadn't been her birthday or Hanukkah. She couldn't think of anything. Slowly she peeled back the wrapping paper, being careful not to tear it too much because this was definitely something that was going in her memories box that was tucked neatly in the back corner of her closet. When she finally pulled the white cardboard lid off she gasped. Nestled against soft white cotton was a delicate silver charm bracelet. She gently reached down and picked it up and fingered each of the four charms currently dangling from the tiny links. There was a star, a small guitar, a treble clef, and a drama face symbol.

She'd been quiet for a really long time, well a really long time for Berry, and it was making Puck nervous. "I saw the mask thing when I was picking out the ones for my sister and I remembered seeing a drawing of them in your locker. That's when I got the idea to get you one, too. If you don't like the charms I picked out you can take them back and get new ones or whatever."

Finally her gaze shifted from the silver in her hand to the hazel of his eyes. He was surprised to see unshed tears glistening there. "Noah, thank you," she whispered, "this is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. I love it and I love what you picked out. Thank you so much." Then her arms were around him as she hugged him. As she released him she asked, "Will you help me put it on?" His fingers fumbled slightly as he tried to work the delicate clasp without touching her warm skin too much. He cleared his throat when he'd finished and she held up her wrist with a smile. Puck couldn't help enjoying the idea that she may be Finn Hudson's girlfriend, but she was wearing jewelry provided by Noah Puckerman. When the bell rang loudly it jolted both of them into the realization that they were late for class. Rachel quickly grabbed her books and casting another glance in Puck's direction mouthed "Thank you" again and hurried down the hallway. Puck stood there watching her ass move in that short, short skirt until she'd turned the corner. What did he care if he was late for U.S. History?

* * *

"I don't want you to see Puck anymore."

It was Wednesday evening and Rachel was in the process of unzipping Finn's pants when he whispered those words in her ear and then slowly grazed his teeth along her neck. "What?" she questioned just as his lips found hers and he greedily pushed his tongue inside her mouth. Her hands stilled as she tried to make sense of what he'd just said. In his eagerness for Rachel to continue he pushed himself against her and slowly dragged his hand up her bare thigh, across her belly, and began gently massaging her breast over the top of her bra. He'd discovered the previous week the kinds of things she could do with her hands. It was way more than Quinn had ever done or let him do to her and he was very excited to continue down that road. He didn't realize his mistake until Rachel's hands moved from his pants to his chest and pushed him away from her.

"What?" she asked again in an angry tone that he knew meant he wasn't getting anywhere else until they had a "discussion".

He sighed loudly and stood up from Rachel's bed, carefully zipping his pants back up. At the same time Rachel rolled off her bed and began buttoning her shirt. "I just don't trust him with you Rachel. You don't know Puck the way I do. The guy's a jerk and a horn dog and all he cares about is where he can stick his dick next. Trust me. You don't want to be friends with him. He'll either betray you or get you drunk on wine coolers so he can steal your virginity."

Rachel glared at Finn as he spoke of his former best friend with such anger and hate in his voice. She couldn't believe he was bringing this subject up again, let alone when they were fooling around. Then she realized that he had brought it up at exactly that time on purpose. He'd been trying to distract her. That made her even angrier. "How dare you! You didn't mind the way Puck was when he was hitting on every other girl in school and now suddenly it's some huge problem for you that he's the way he is because Quinn let him between her legs. You know what Finn Hudson, I'm not Quinn!"

"I know that!" he yelled back. "But Puck's still Puck. Don't you see Rachel? He's just using you to make me jealous. He knows I like you and that it makes me crazy to know he's hanging out with you and so he does it to get to me."

"How full of yourself are you?! You honestly don't think that he just might happen to like me? I'll have you know that Puck has spent more time with me outside of this room in the last two months than you have and you're supposed to be my boyfriend."

"Exactly my point. People are starting to think that you two are going out. I've heard the rumors around school. People saw you two at the mall on Saturday and they're saying that you were holding hands and stuff. And yesterday in glee I heard Kurt telling Mercedes something about you and Puck hugging in the hallway. They think you two are dating!"

"And who's fault is that Finn? I haven't led anyone on about my intentions. I have been clear from the start that my feelings for you are true. Puck is just my friend. Yes, we hung out at the mall, but we weren't holding hands and yes I hugged him in the hallway by my locker because he'd just been very kind and generous to me. If people think we're dating because of that then it's not my fault!" She took a breath as the two of them stared at each other. Their angry words still hanging in the air between them. She tried to calm herself as she said coolly, "Maybe it's your fault people think I'm dating Puck."

Finn's eyes widened at her accusation. "How exactly would it be my fault?"

She gave him an incredulous look that said _really? You need me to explain it to you?_ Then she realized, yes, really he's Finn for crying out loud. "Do you realize there's only one person outside of this room that knows that I'm your girlfriend? And he's the person you're currently accusing of only being my friend in order to make you jealous. Perhaps if you were willing to show me some kind of affection outside of this room then people would know that I was actually dating you, that I'm in love with you! Is it me?!" she cried as angry tears suddenly sprung into her eyes. "What is so terrible about being with me?"

At the sight of her tears Finn suddenly felt terrible for yelling at her. He crossed the room quickly and took her forcefully into his arms, pressing her against his chest. "It's not you Rachel. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being with you. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I really like being with you and I like what we have. I guess I've been reluctant to go public with our relationship because I just feel so confused." He held her close as her hurt and angry tears stained his shirt. How could he tell her what he was truly confused about? He didn't want to hurt her like that. Rachel had been awesome and he really did love being with her, but a big part of that was the sexual stuff she was willing to do with him. He couldn't deny that anymore.

If he was honest with himself he really wasn't angry with Rachel hanging out with Puck because above all things he did trust her more than he trusted anyone else. He was really angry with himself because he wasn't being honest with her. When she had told him about her day at the mall with Puck he'd felt incredibly guilty because he could have been with her that day. Instead he had finished his chores around the house quickly and then had spent the rest of the day hanging out with Quinn watching movies and talking about Puck and the baby and what she was going to do. He couldn't seem to help himself. Even though he had been hurt so badly by her he felt a pull to her that he couldn't explain. He didn't think he could ever forgive Puck, but in his heart he knew he'd already forgiven Quinn and was quickly on his way to rebuilding at least their friendship.

But he couldn't tell Rachel any of this. She wouldn't understand. He could tell even from the way she spoke Quinn's name that she would never understand him forgiving her. He also knew that he couldn't keep this up anymore. He had to make a choice. Either he was with Rachel or he wasn't. He took a deep breath and pulled back from her slowly. She pulled away too and then looked up at him with dark brown eyes full of love and still damp from her tears. She gave him a soft smile, as if she couldn't wait to hear what it was he would say next.

He spoke quietly past the lump in his throat as he said, "Rachel, would you go with me to Santana's party on Friday night?"


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Disclaimers out of the way. Don't own it. Okay, so here's the thing. I have an outline for the major moments that I want to happen in this story. I will be sticking to that outline. However, somewhere along the way this has morphed into some kind of hybrid animal. I was actually going to have the party be in this chapter as well, but I got carried away with Puck and Rachel, which is very easy to do, and if I had done the party it would have been an extremely long chapter. So I've decided to break it up a bit. I think it adds to dramatic effect, or maybe it just postpones the inevitable. You tell me. Please! LOL I love the reviews, keep 'em coming. Let me know if you think this was cheesy or if you liked it, or even if you didn't.**

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

As Puck sauntered into the music room on Thursday afternoon for glee practice he was nearly assaulted by a radiant Rachel. He couldn't help but smile at her as she hurried over to him with a huge smile on her face, her eyes sparkling with joy. "I'm assuming that you will be attending Santana's party tomorrow night?" she asked with a coy grin.

"I thought I'd at least make an appearance, yeah," he replied, still getting a kick out of seeing the tiny brunette so damn happy.

"I too shall be attending." Rachel paused for dramatic effect and then dropped a quiet bomb. "With Finn."

Puck's jaw clenched automatically and he felt the now familiar sickness in his stomach that he got every time he thought of Rachel and Finn together. "So he's finally taking you public, huh?"

Rachel either didn't notice the change in Puck's tone of voice or she chose to ignore it because she just nodded her head happily and bounced back into the room that was quickly filling up with performers. Puck took a deep breath and then continued into the room. He couldn't help noticing that Finn had chosen to sit with Mike and Matt today. Puck chose a seat next to Rachel and enjoyed the way Finn's eyes narrowed slightly. _Whatever, dude. You snooze you lose._

Glee practice pretty much blew chunks. Oh sure, they sounded great and Mr. Schuester was going on about how the choreography was seamless and he was so proud of how hard they were all working, but the whole time Rachel couldn't take her eyes off Finn. She was practically beaming with happiness and Puck wanted to scratch his own eyes out just so he wouldn't feel like such a damn pussy for being jealous of Finn Fucking Hudson! He couldn't wait for Regionals to finally be over with so he wouldn't have to be sick every day watching the two of them together. Then the realization struck him that if Finn and Rachel weren't in glee together then he wouldn't be in glee with her either and that made him even more angry and depressed. As soon as Mr. Schuester dismissed them Puck flew out of the room and hopped in his truck, destination 7-11. He needed dip and he was pretty sure he looked pathetic enough to not have to wait long for someone to buy him some beer too.

* * *

Friday night had come very quickly. Rachel couldn't believe how excited she was. She had made an emergency shopping trip the day before immediately after school and now she stood facing the mirror, shaking with nervousness and wondering if she'd made the right choice. Not only was this her first high school party that was not a school endorsed function, but tonight she would be on Finn's arm, as his date, and the entire student body would finally know that they were together. She didn't want to embarrass Finn in any way and so she had agonized over how to do her hair and make-up and what to wear. As doubts weighed heavily on her mind she heard a knock on her door. "Come in," she answered, thinking perhaps her dads would be able to offer their advise. Only it was Puck's voice, not one of her fathers, that came from the other side of the door as the knob turned and the door swung slowly open.

"Hey Berry. Your dad said I could just...." Puck couldn't finish his sentence. He stood frozen in the doorway, his eyes drinking in every single inch of the girl standing before him. Words stuck in his throat along with the breath he couldn't seem to take in as his eyes traveled from her hair which she'd straightened into shimmering softness that framed her face and cascaded over her shoulders like a smooth waterfall. Her eyes were smokey in color, her cheeks just slightly blushed, but her lips, _oh God, _her lips were dark red and full. There was tanned skin everywhere, so much damn skin because her red mini-dress that pushed her breasts up and hugged her hips was barely there to cover anything up. His eyes followed down her smooth, long legs to a pair of red "fuck-me" heels and then back up to her eyes to take it all in again.

In that moment the realization struck Puck that he just may love Rachel Berry. It terrified and thrilled him at the same time, much the way Rachel did. He hadn't been able to get her out of his head for weeks. Every day he looked forward to the time he'd get to spend with her. He'd never felt that way about any chick he wasn't sleeping with, not even Quinn. In fact, after Quinn had been such a bitch to him he'd realized his interest in her was more about the kid she was carrying than the girl herself. His dreams were filled with images of Rachel and he knew what he saw right now would be featured heavily in the coming weeks. He noticed that the only jewelry she wore was the tiny bit of silver on her wrist and a feeling of possessiveness gripped him. He didn't want Finn touching her. Hell, he didn't want Finn looking at her especially looking like that.

She was blushing under his intense gaze and looked down at the floor uncomfortably, unsure as to whether his silence was good or bad. Had she rendered him speechless because she looked good or was it such a hideous ensemble that he couldn't even conceive that she would consider letting anyone see her dressed this way. When he finally spoke she had her answer.

"Rachel you look fucking amazing," he whispered as he finally found his voice. He tried not to think about the fact that she looked this way for Finn.

"Thank you, Noah," she said, suddenly feeling extremely shy. Even though she was dating Finn she had to admit that it felt really good to have Puck look at her the way that he currently was. It made her feel warm all over and caused her stomach to do a little flip. She convinced herself that this was a normal reaction of any girl who had just gained the kind of attention she had from someone they were attracted to. _No, not attracted to, someone who's attractive. Yes, that's right, _she quickly amended her thoughts.

In an effort to regain his balance and hide the image that had popped into his head of taking her against the wall right then and there Puck asked, "So what's with all the luggage downstairs? You planning to off Santana tonight and go on the lam?"

"As tempting as that sounds, no," Rachel laughed. "Every year we take two vacations. My dads take a vacation just to two of them to keep the spark alive and reconnect and then when the school year is finished we take one as a family. This is their week together and for the first time I actually get to stay home instead of being shipped off to my Nana's. I advised them that I am a responsible sixteen year old woman who is perfectly capable of caring for herself for one week. Besides when they booked their week we didn't know we'd have Regionals and there's no way they'd make me miss that."

Puck made a disgusted face. "You're not planning on playing house with Finn while they're gone are you?"

"A lady doesn't speak of such things," Rachel paused with a smile and continued, "except with her female best friend and since you don't qualify as female I'm sorry but I can't make you privy to that information. Now, may I ask why I have the pleasure of your company so early in the evening? I'm certain it wasn't to check out my outfit and comment on my dads travel plans."

Puck laughed. He was amazed that somehow her use of vocabulary not only stunned him, but turned him on. "I came to tell you that I won't be at the party tonight after all. Although now that I've seen what you're going to be wearing I feel even worse about missing it."

Rachel couldn't hide her disappointment. "Noah, I was so looking forward to being there with you. I mean, yes, I'm going with Finn, but I didn't assume that we would be inseparable and I thought perhaps you and I would have an opportunity to dance or hang out or whatever happens at these things," she finished weakly.

Puck chuckled but secretly cursed the gods that he had to miss this party. The one he might actually want to go to if only to watch Berry all night long. Puck didn't really dance, but if that's what she had wanted he would have totally done it just to have the excuse to hold her close to him. "Sorry Berry, it can't be helped. My mom and sister and I are leaving tonight for Cleveland and I'm not going to be at school on Monday. My grandpa had a stroke or something and we're going to see him in the hospital and then they're going to stay behind to take care of things or whatever."

Rachel gasped and quickly crossed the room to him. "Noah, I'm so sorry," she said as she pulled him into an embrace. Puck angled his body into returning the hug so that she wouldn't realize how turned on he currently was by her attire and proximity. When Rachel pulled back her eyes were damp, "I feel so selfish for wishing that you were staying here to hang out with me when your grandpa is so ill. I'm so sorry, Noah."

"Hey, it's alright," Puck reassured her as his hand gently brushed against her cheek. _Damn, I didn't mean to do that_, he thought as his fingers tingled from the warmth of her skin. "You didn't know why I wasn't going and besides I'd rather be going to the party than driving overnight to Cleveland. I mean my grandpa's cool and I hope he's okay, but damn Rach you look so hot I'd much rather be dancing in Lima with you than in a hospital in Cleveland." He dropped his voice an octave and finished, "Even if there are hot nurses, I'd rather be with you."

Rachel's skin burned hot where Puck's hand had been and she glanced away as she tried to compose herself and reason away the feelings she was having. She turned and walked toward her window in an effort to put some distance between them as she asked, "Why did you come all the way over here to tell me you wouldn't be at the party tonight? You could have just called or texted me, then you would already be on the road to Cleveland."

The fact that she had walked away from him didn't go unnoticed by Puck and a knowing smile spread slowly across his face as he followed her across the room and stood behind her just close enough to be able to feel the heat emanating from her body, which meant she could feel his too. "Berry, I know you," he said softly from just behind her, "Regionals are next Saturday. If I hadn't shown up tonight for the party and then you didn't see me on Monday at school you'd freak out that I wasn't going to be in top performing shape for competition. I just didn't want you to worry." In the reflection from the window he saw a smile pass across her lips.

Very slowly he raised his right hand to her bare shoulder and gently ran his fingers down her arm until he reached her hand. He felt her shiver under his touch, but she didn't move away so he linked his fingers into hers and slowly turned her around to face him. There was a darkness in her brown eyes and he could see her breath was labored because her chest was rising and falling quickly. "Since I'm here now," he said huskily, "how about that dance?" Without waiting for her to respond he let his hands rest gently on her hips and pulled her close to him, still not quite touching, but tormentingly intimate none the less.

Slowly he began to sway, moving them in slow circles around the room he began to hum softly. She had wanted to dance with Puck anyway, what difference did it make that they were currently alone in her room, moving so closely that she could feel the fabric of her dress brushing against his shirt and jeans. Her body and her brain were screaming two very different things at each other and currently her body was winning out. The feel of his hands on her, the heat from his body warming her skin, his warm breath against her neck, it was all intoxicating and through the fog her brain was telling her that something dangerous was happening. In the far recesses of her mind she finally recognized that he was humming "I Want to Know What Love Is" by Foreigner.

Suddenly her brain kicked into action and she pulled away from his arms. "Noah," she said, confusion settling in her eyes as she looked in his hazel eyes darkened with desire. She had never seen anyone look at her the way he was, as if he could devour her right then, and it sent chills through her entire body. "What are we doing? I'm with Finn. I won't cheat on him."

His jaw muscles clenched in response to her statement, but what came out of his mouth was a low husky voice softly singing to her.

_I got to take a little time, _

_a little time to think things over._

As he sang softly to her, his eyes never leaving hers, he moved slowly towards her, his hands once again finding purchase on her hips. She stepped backwards, but he followed, continuing to sing to her until she had nowhere left to go. Her back against the wall, just inches separated them as he continued softly.

_In my life there's been heartache and pain, _

_I don't know if I can face it again. _

_Can't stop now, _

_I've traveled so far to change this lonely life._

_I want to know what love is. _

_I want you to show me. _

_I want to feel what love is. _

_I know you can show me._

As he sang the chorus his hands moved over her hips and he pulled her flush against him. She let out a soft gasp and he lowered his head with every intention of claiming her lips with his own, until she spoke.

"Please don't," she pleaded with him softly.

Puck stopped and stared into her eyes. He saw the same desire there that he had for her. He knew she wanted to kiss him. But there was fear and confusion, too. In that moment he knew that he couldn't be with her until she was completely over Finn. She needed to come to him when she was ready, when she could finally see that Finn was not the guy for her. Until then he would be patient even though it killed him. "He doesn't deserve you," he growled as he distanced himself from her, quickly stalking toward the door.

"Noah!" she cried out, terrified that this moment would change their friendship. She was afraid that by not reciprocating his feelings she had pushed him away and she had come to depend a great deal on his friendship.

He stopped at the door and turned toward her. He flashed her a reassuring smile and then said, "It's okay Berry. We're cool. I'll see you Tuesday." He started to leave and then with a lascivious smile he said just loud enough for her to hear, "Thanks for the dance," and was gone.

**Song Credit: "I Want to Know What Love Is" by Foreigner (Obviously I don't own that either.)**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: A couple things. For the purpose of my story Quinn isn't due until early summer even though I know on the show Kendra said she was due around spring break. Also, even though it may appear that I don't like Finn, that is not the case. I actually do like him on the show even though I don't think he's right for Rachel and I hate the way he drags her along for his own purposes and occasional ego stroking. However, for the purpose of this story, I'm going to throw him under the bus. This chapter is the shove. Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Cars filled the circular driveway and lined all sides of the street as Rachel followed the loud rhythmic thump of music to Santana's house. She had parked on a side street out of necessity. Every other spot closer to the house had already been taken. Finn had told her to meet him at the party at 9:30 since he needed to help Mike and Matt haul speakers and audio equipment and wouldn't be able to pick her up. She hadn't realized that the party would be in full swing by the time she arrived, but from the looks of things it had been going for at least an hour.

After Puck had left she had spent her remaining time trying to make sense of what had happened between them. She had finally come to the conclusion that Puck had never had a friend that was a girl and so he didn't understand that there were certain boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. She had a more difficult time reasoning away her own reaction to his romantic overture. It had taken a long time after he left for her heartbeat to return to a steady rhythm and even now when she thought about how his hands had felt on her hips and the urges he had so quickly awakened in her body her heart betrayed her with a little flip. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath, reminding herself that the conclusion she had come to was that it was normal teenager hormones. A good looking male had made a sexual advance and her body had responded in the way it was made to respond. The same way she would respond had it been Finn.

With a relieved look in her brown eyes and a determined smile on her face she entered Santana's home and began to weave her way through the milling teenagers in her search for one very tall brown haired boy. She recognized a lot of people from school, but there were also many people she didn't recognize that looked older and she assumed correctly that they were college students from one town over. She moved through the living room where small groups of people stood talking and drinking, or dancing and drinking, or kissing and drinking. No Finn. She moved on through the dining room and kitchen to find more of the same. Still no Finn.

As she turned the corner to head down a hallway towards a back room that it appeared held many more people she ran into a familiar face. A small, pretty, blonde face. "Quinn," Rachel said in surprise.

"Hey Rachel," Quinn said with just as much surprise. She knew she had never seen Rachel Berry at a party and she was pretty sure she hadn't seen her at any school functions either. Even if she had been there she admitted to herself she probably wouldn't have noticed. Now it seemed as if every where she turned there was Rachel Berry. At one time the talented brunette hadn't been worthy of even a first thought from the popular blonde, but somehow over the course of the last few months Rachel had become an ever more increasing presence in her life.

Rachel was the reason Quinn had joined glee in the first place. She had seen the way she looked at Finn and it hadn't gone unnoticed how much he enjoyed the attention. Seeing the way Puck had been with Rachel when they had dated for those few days had made her see him in a new light and she had considered giving him a chance, until she was smacked in the face with the reality of who Puck was when she saw his sexts with Santana. It was Rachel who had blown her secret wide open with her snooping and big mouth and even though she couldn't bring herself to hate the girl she definitely didn't like her. But she also couldn't help feeling a grudging respect for the girl. It seemed like no matter how many times she was mocked, humiliated, or slushied she just became more determined to be who she was and damn the rest of the world and what they thought. Quinn admired that kind of courage, because she recognized the lack of it in herself.

"Have you seen Finn?" Rachel asked.

"Um, yeah," Quinn said as she scanned the room Rachel had just come from as if she might be able to see him even though Rachel hadn't. "He was around here a little earlier. I'm sure he'll show up again. He's kind of hard to miss." She flashed Rachel a joking smile.

Rachel returned the smile and gave a little laugh. "Hey Rachel. Do you have a minute? I was wondering if we could talk in private," Quinn said, her face suddenly serious.

Rachel looked unsure. She didn't know what Quinn Fabray could possibly need to talk to her about in private, but she had learned to be cautious around the girl. They may have struck a tentative truce because of glee, but she still didn't trust the pregnant blonde. "I guess," she said as she shrugged her shoulders and followed Quinn down the hallway and through a door that Quinn motioned for her to shut. It was a small study decorated in deep reds and golds, with dark wood accents and a bookshelf that was built completely into one side of the wall.

At the look on Rachel's face Quinn let out a soft laugh. "I know, you wouldn't think a room like this would be in her house. It's her dad's study and the only room she said was off limits, but I think she'd be okay with just the two of us being in here. Santana's actually quite intelligent. She's well read and learns quickly and will probably do something amazing with her life once she gets out of this town, but for now I think she's content being the new Queen of McKinley since I was dethroned."

Rachel stood there quietly and watched as Quinn slowly moved around the room. She seemed nervous and kept opening her mouth as if she were about to say something and then thinking better of it she would purse her lips back together and glance away. The silence was making her nervous and she finally blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. "You don't look very pregnant. When are you due again?"

Quinn almost looked relieved that Rachel had spoken. It wasn't until she started speaking that Rachel realized she had given Quinn just the opening she needed to begin the conversation that was the whole point of this clandestine meeting. "The end of June which as you know is coming up quickly. I mean just a few short weeks after Regionals and we'll be out of school for summer break. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about Rachel. I've noticed you've been spending a lot of time with Puck lately."

"We've become friends," Rachel said wearily, as she thought she might know where this conversation was headed.

"He listens to you," Quinn pressed with a soft smile on her face and hope glittering in her eyes.

"Yes, he listens to me," Rachel agreed and then continued, "but we both know that as much as he might listen to someone, in the end Puck makes his own decisions."

She saw the hardness come into Quinn's eyes and she now was certain of what was coming.

Her voice was steely and clipped as she spoke. "Listen Rachel, we both know that Puck doesn't have a responsible bone in his body. He has it in his head now that I can't do anything about giving this baby up for adoption without his consent. I don't know how it happened but somehow he built up some fantasy that he and I would raise this kid together and that's just not happening. He needs to open his eyes and see the reality of the situation. I can't keep this baby and he is not adult enough to keep her either."

Rachel bristled at Quinn's tone. She also felt a twinge of jealousy at the thought of Puck and Quinn raising their daughter together, but she pushed that aside and let the righteous indignation take over. "So, what? You brought me in here to berate Noah and tell me what a horrible, irresponsible boy he is?"

"No. I need you to talk some sense into him. Make him realize that the only option is to let our little girl be adopted so that she has a chance at a decent life because she definitely won't get that with him. He can hardly take care of himself, let alone a baby."

"Let's get one thing straight. Noah Puckerman is a good man who wants to take responsibility for the choices he's made. You're the one that won't let him. You're the one who insisted that a lie be perpetrated as to who the true father was and he let you do that because he respected you as the mother of his child. I am _Noah's _friend and I will support _him_ in whatever decision he makes. Whether that is to give up his child to adoptive parents or to fight you and raise his own daughter. But whatever _he_ decides, make no mistake Quinn, I'm on Noah's side." At that Rachel turned and effected a storm out even she was quite proud of.

She suddenly felt the need for air as it felt stifling inside the house. She pushed her way through the crowd and burst through the door that led onto the back deck. Taking deep breaths she leaned against the railing as she tried to regain her composure. She was so angry. Furious, really. How dare Quinn try to use her friendship with Puck to influence him into a decision about the baby?! Part of her wanted him to take the child just to spite Quinn and her holier than thou attitude. But her overwhelming concern for Noah and what was best for him quelled that desire.

She heard people yelling and laughing loudly out on the lawn and finally focused on the yard she had been unseeingly staring out at. There was a kid-sized turtle pool filled with ice and what looked like bottles of wine coolers and surrounding that were three very large kegs of beer. _Santana sure knew how to draw a crowd_, Rachel thought with a wry smile. And finally she saw him. He was standing amidst a small pack of boys she recognized from the basketball team and he was laughing. Like really laughing. His head thrown back, his mouth wide open, with joy in his eyes, and a red beer cup in his hand.

"Finn!" she called out to him and when he turned in the direction of her voice she waved excitedly to show him where she was. She saw his eyes go wide at her appearance and then a slow smile spread across his face as he began to walk toward her.

"Rach you look amazing," he said as he wrapped his arms around her in a warm hug. He pulled back, but kept his arms wrapped around her and Rachel thought she would die of happiness at that very moment. He had finally done it. After two months of seeing each other behind closed doors he had shown her affection in front of their friends, well mostly his friends, but still it was a moment she would cherish. A loving smile spread across her face and she began to lean up and forward to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. As she did so he turned toward the group of guys he'd just left and shouted, "Hey, guys! Doesn't Rach look great tonight?" and then he released her from his grasp.

Rachel stood in silent shock as an overpowering feeling of rejection washed over her. She heard the hoots and hollers that Finn's question had elicited from the pack of athletes and it made her feel extremely uncomfortable. She had caught a hint of the smell of beer from Finn as he had held her and she told herself that he probably didn't realize what he was doing at this moment. _Give him the benefit of the doubt,_ she told herself as she forced yet another smile on her face.

Finn seemed oblivious to the horrifying spectacle he had just subjected Rachel to as he asked, "Have you been here long?"

"Not very," she answered and then as she remembered the first conversation she'd had when she entered the party she frowned and continued, "just long enough to run into Quinn."

A look passed across his face and if she hadn't known better she would have thought it was fear. "Quinn?" He paused as he took a drink from his cup and then looking at Rachel with eyes that seemed to land everywhere but actually on the girl he was speaking to he asked, "What did you two have to talk about?"

Rachel sighed in frustration. "She was trying to get me to talk to Puck about not contesting her when it comes to the choices she wants to make with the baby. I informed her that he would make his own decisions and I would support whatever that was, but I would not be doing any of her dirty work for her."

"I don't get it Rachel," he said, surprising her slightly with the sudden anger that came into his voice. "Why can't you see Puck for the bastard that he is? He called himself my best friend and then he went and slept with my girlfriend. He got her pregnant and then was willing to let me, his supposed best friend, take responsibility for it. He sleeps with anyone who's willing and I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few that weren't actually that willing."

Without thinking Rachel's hand flashed out and slapped Finn across the face. The look of surprise that he gave her snapped her back and she put her hand over her mouth and gasped. "I'm sorry Finn," she apologized, "I shouldn't have done that, but you shouldn't be saying things like that about Puck. Yes, he made a mistake, but you seem to forget that Quinn made that exact same mistake. Don't ever accuse him of something as heinous as what you just insinuated."

The sting of her tiny hand across his face seemed to have sobered him up a little. "You're right. I shouldn't have said that. Listen, can we just drop the whole Puck issue? I just want to party tonight and have some fun." She smiled and nodded, but as she followed Finn inside she couldn't help feeling a little sad that the boy she loved had said something so horrible about someone that she was coming to cherish very much.

The party was loud and she was too warm and people kept jostling her around. Probably if she had been drinking along with everyone else it wouldn't have bothered her as much because she too would be so inebriated that she would have no depth perception and no equilibrium and thus would be careening all over the floor knocking people and things over. However, Rachel was completely sober and having the absolute worst night of her life so far. She followed Finn around the party for almost an hour as he mingled with friends, met new people, and laughed loudly at everyone's jokes. She tried to hint to him that she wanted to dance, but he told her he was too hot and the floor was too crowded. A few times she tried to inconspicuously hold his hand, but each time he was able to avert it by pointing to someone, his index finger and thumb forming a gun, and shouting "Hey! How you doing?".

After spending fifteen minutes in line waiting to use the restroom Rachel had had enough. She stared at herself in the mirror and did her best not to cry. Her hair that she had worked so hard on was now beginning to frizz from the warmth and static of being in such an enclosed space. She felt sweaty and gross and instead of looking natural her make-up now looked caked on. This was not the night she had planned. Finn had asked her out. She knew she hadn't read more into it than what it was. This was supposed to be a date and yet he seemed to act as if she were just his friend hanging around with all his other friends. No one special. She would talk to Finn tomorrow in the light of day. She would be completely honest about how his actions this evening and for the last two months made her feel. She bit her lower lip and then squaring her shoulders she decided she would leave.

As she walked down the hallway toward the front door she felt a hand wrap around her arm and suddenly she was pulled into a dark room. The door was shut quickly behind her and as the hand released her she turned in indignation at the person standing before her. "Finn! What are you doing? You scared me half to death."

He didn't answer her. He just walked toward her, swaying a little from the amount of alcohol currently coursing through his bloodstream. "You're so hot, Rachel," he said as his hands pulled her face to his and he crushed his mouth to hers in a sloppy, drunken kiss.

Rachel nearly gagged when he forced his tongue into her mouth. He reeked of stale beer and tasted even worse. This was not the gentle slow-moving Finn she had become accustomed to and she didn't like it. "Finn, stop," she mumbled against his mouth as her small hands pushed against his chest. "Come on baby," he slurred as he tried once again to kiss her, this time grabbing her hips and pulling her against him. "I want to touch you so bad right now," he whispered.

"You're drunk," she said accusingly as she once again escaped his grasp. "You haven't wanted to touch me all night, but now that we're in a room alone you can't keep your hands off of me. I won't be your dirty little secret Finn!" She stood apart from him, tears glistening in her eyes, her breath coming fast and heavy as adrenaline coursed through her body. He just stood there slowly swaying, his eyes trying to focus on her. "I don't know what I'm doing Rachel." He spoke in a whisper and for a moment she thought he might cry.

Her heart ached for him and it ached for herself. She breathed in heavily as she composed herself and then very calmly she said, "You need to go home and sober up Finn. We'll talk tomorrow when you're in your right mind and we'll figure it out."

"We'll figure it out," he echoed her and then a wistful smile played across his lips. She gently kissed his cheek and then hurried out of the room. She was able to hold onto her tears until she was safe in her car. No sobs left her chest. She had complete control of her breath, but she couldn't contain the tears that streaked down her cheeks as she pulled away from the curb and headed home.

* * *

Rachel was up at 6:00 a.m. the next morning to hug and kiss her fathers goodbye as they left for their trip. They reminded her that they wouldn't be far away so if she needed them they would come home. She told them to enjoy their time in Cincinnati and not to worry about her. After their car pulled out of the driveway she worked out on her elliptical, took a shower and got dressed. It wasn't even 8:00 a.m. yet and she didn't have any plans for the day. She had thought she would be out later and had thought she would need to sleep in today, but nothing had gone as planned the night before.

She did her laundry and her homework. She watched some TV, but was quickly bored with that so she turned on the stereo and just sat on the couch, thinking. She wasn't sure what to do about Finn. She loved him, she knew that. She loved his voice and how thoughtful he was. He was kind and sweet. She even kind of loved how clueless he could be sometimes. It was endearing. She loved being with him. But she didn't love the way she felt when they were in public and he pretended they were less to each other than what they were. When they were alone he was affectionate, constantly touching her, brushing against her, kissing her. But he instituted an obvious distance between them in public and she wasn't sure if it was because he was afraid of what other people at school would think if they knew he was dating her, the Queen of the Gleeks or if he just wasn't ready for a committed relationship after his last one had ended so horribly.

A soft knock on the front door jolted her out of her reverie and she rose to answer it. "Finn," she said with a smile as she stood to the side to let him in, "I'm glad you came over." He didn't look well. Considering how drunk he was last night she figured he had quite the hangover. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair unkempt, and he looked pale as he stood in her living room unable to make eye contact with her. She closed the door and stood in front of him. "About last night," she began tentatively, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I pushed you away, but I think we need to have a serious talk."

"I slept with Quinn." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He hadn't been sure he'd be able to tell her. He didn't really want to tell her, but he knew that he couldn't lie about something like that. The look of shock followed quickly by heartbreaking pain in her eyes made his chest constrict and he felt as if his throat were going to close. He knew he had to get it out while he still could and so his words came out in a rush.

"I'm so sorry Rachel. I didn't mean to. Stuff has been happening between me and Quinn for a while now and I didn't know how to tell you. I've been so confused. I really like you, but I have all this history with Quinn and I kept feeling this pull toward her. When I was with you it felt great, but it felt great when I was with Quinn too. I know I've been hurting you because I wasn't able to show to everyone that we were together. I guess I thought that if we were a secret then maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad if we didn't work out. Last night I felt pulled in all these directions because Quinn was there and you were there and she didn't know about you and then I drank too much, way, way too much and she drove me home and.....I'm so sorry I hurt you Rachel."

She stood in the center of her living room feeling as if she'd just been sucked into some sort of air tunnel. There was a loud roaring sound in her ears and she could only pick out bits and pieces of what he was saying. I kept feeling this pull toward her.....we were a secret....I drank too much. Through all of that she kept hearing the same words spoken over and over clear as a bell. As if they had somehow escaped the thundering in her ears and had gone straight into her brain to taunt her forever. I slept with Quinn. I slept with Quinn. I slept with Quinn.

"Get out." In her mind she screamed the words at the top of her lungs. Louder than any song she had ever belted out. Louder than the furious storm currently raging around her. She screamed at him a torrent of raw emotion. The hurt and humiliation and betrayal that she could feel welling up inside of her. But what parted from her lips was more of a whisper. It was still loud enough for Finn to hear.

He lowered his head in shame, his shoulders bent with the weight of the guilt he carried for hurting this girl so much. He'd really never meant to hurt her. It just happened. He let it happen. He walked through the door and quietly closing it behind him made his way down the walkway to his car. Getting in he drove away, never seeing the tiny brown haired figure that had been standing so stoically in the living room suddenly begin to shake and collapse to the ground.

**P.S. I love reading everyone's reviews so please let me know what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: You guys are so awesome! I'm loving your reviews please keep them coming. I enjoy hearing if you're liking the story and your thoughts on where you think it's going are very interesting. Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Also the song credit in this chapter is "You Really Got a Hold On Me" by She & Him which is Zooey Deschanel's band. If you haven't heard them they're awesome. Well in my humble opinion they are anyway. I love her, not as much as Lea though, but they are totally different. Anyway, enjoy and comment!**

**CHAPTER NINE**

Puck was pretty sure he had just lived through one of the worst weekends of his life so far. It was a long drive to Cleveland and even though his sister fell asleep pretty quickly his mom had been so full of nervous energy that she couldn't stop talking the entire trip. He had really needed some quiet time to think about what had happened in Rachel's room. He thought maybe he'd find that at the hospital, but he'd spent most of his time keeping his sister occupied or comforting his mom or sitting with his grandpa. It was alternately boring and worrisome to be there. But mostly boring. He had driven back by himself on Monday, leaving his mom and sister behind to get arrangements made for Gramps to go home. He'd need assistance for a while. Finally, Puck had the quiet time he craved.

He thought about Quinn and the baby. It was then that he realized he never just thought about Quinn. He probably never would have given their one time together a second thought if Quinn hadn't got knocked up. She'd been a challenge that he conquered and he felt bad for losing Finn as a friend because of his inability to control his urges, but he no longer had any desire to be with the blonde at all. What he wanted was to be a good dad to his kid. He thought about what Rachel had said. He knew he wasn't in any kind of position to be able to give his daughter the life she deserved, but he also knew that there were plenty of teenagers who did do it and it was possible. One thing was certain, he loved his little girl and he wanted the best there was for her. He just didn't know for certain yet what that meant.

His thoughts quickly turned to Rachel. She was smoking hot. There was no denying that and if she let him he'd totally get in her pants, but somehow it felt like more than just a physical attraction. He'd never wanted to just hang out with a girl without the ulterior motive of at least making out. But with Rachel he actually enjoyed spending time with her if for no other purpose than to just be around her. She was crazy that was for sure, but he kind of liked her kind of crazy. And she had looked stunning on Friday night.

His hands still burned when he thought about how her body had felt when he'd pulled her close to him. He'd wanted to kiss her so badly and he knew that if he had she would have kissed him back. But then she would have regretted it and he didn't want her to regret anything she did with him. She made him want to be a better version of himself and somehow when he looked in her eyes he actually believed that might be possible. As he entered the Lima city limits he'd considered swinging by her place, but he'd tried to call her a few times when he was in Cleveland and she'd never answered or called him back. He figured she was probably all wrapped up with Finn after their little date on Friday and he definitely didn't want to see the two of them being all mushy and in love so instead he went straight home.

On Tuesday morning as Puck walked the hallways of McKinley High School he kept his eyes moving around as he searched for a tiny brunette amidst the mass of students. By third period he was beginning to get worried because he still hadn't been able to find Rachel. _What if she's pissed at me for what happened on Friday? _he kept asking himself. _Whatever. I'm a bad-ass and she knows I can't control my urges all the time._ He decided to just put it out of his mind. Because Regionals were this Saturday Mr. Schuester had scheduled double practices all week. They met up during the lunch hour and then had their regular afternoon practice. He was certain he'd see her at the lunch practice. She couldn't avoid him then.

He scanned the room quickly looking for Rachel as he entered. He hadn't seen her in four days and he couldn't believe how much he missed her. Of course, he'd never admit that to anyone. A questioning look furrowed his brow as he noticed that Finn and Quinn were sitting next to each other. _That's odd_, he thought as he took a seat deliberately on the outside of everyone else. When Rachel came in he wanted to give her the option of sitting with him. Mr. Schuester came into the room practically already talking. "Sorry I'm late guys. We're going to work on the choreography today for our first number. I think we can improve the transitions..."

"Where's Berry?" Puck interrupted.

Mr. Schuester looked as if he'd just realized Puck was in the room. "Welcome back Puck. I hope your grandfather is okay. Rachel's sick. She called in the last two days, but hopefully she'll be ready by Saturday." Puck scanned the room in surprise and saw worry on everyone's faces, except one. Finn looked more guilty than concerned.

"Has anyone checked on her?"

"I'm sure her fathers are taking good care of her Puck, but it's nice that you're so concerned about your teammate," Mr. Schuester said dismissively.

"You didn't tell them?" Puck asked Finn accusingly.

"Tell them what?" Finn replied quickly. He wasn't sure what Puck was referring to. He didn't know how much Rachel had told Puck, but it would seem he hadn't even spoken to her since everything went so wrong.

"She's by herself. Her dads are in Cincinnati." From the look on Finn's face it was obvious he'd had no idea which didn't make any since to Puck. If he'd spent the entire weekend with Rachel as Puck had suspected then he would have to know that she was home alone. What the hell was going on? He was sick of this whole thing. If Finn was too much of a pussy to be up front about things Puck was going to push it into the open. "She's your girlfriend, I figured she would have told you that."

There was a stunned hush that fell over the music room, but Puck wasn't watching everyone else, he was watching Finn and Quinn. He saw the surprise flash across Quinn's face, the guilt wash over Finn once again and tears spring into Quinn's eyes. But there was something else and finally he was able to put his finger on it. There was an intimacy between them and suddenly he knew, even before Finn quietly responded to Puck's statement by saying, "We broke up."

Every muscle in his body tensed and he wanted to fly across the room and pound Finn's stupid face into the ground, but his thoughts instead flew to Rachel who was currently at home alone, missing school and glee practice. He knew he needed to get to her as quickly as possible and so with a huge effort he turned and walked toward the door.

"Where are you going Puck?" Mr. Schuester called after him.

"Rachel Berry's missed two days of glee practice the week before Regionals." He stared at them all as if they should have known that something was majorly wrong and they couldn't hold his gaze because they all knew he was right. "I'm going to check on my friend." He slammed the door hard behind him as he nearly ran down the hallway.

* * *

He'd pounded three times on Rachel's door and still there was no answer. Rubbing his hand angrily through his hair he considered kicking down the door or finding some way to break in when he turned the door knob in frustration and discovered that it was unlocked. He was both surprised and a little angry at the realization. That was seriously unsafe. Any whack job could have just walked right in and done whatever the hell he wanted to her. As soon as he walked through the door he could hear the faint strains of music playing from upstairs. He climbed the stairs slowly, being careful not to make any noise. He didn't want to scare her by making her think someone had broken in. The last thing he needed was getting blasted with a bat by a 5'2" waif of a girl hiding behind a door or something.

Her door was open and he could now plainly hear the song playing from her iPod. As he stood in her doorway the song stopped and then started over and he realized she had put it on repeat. The song wasn't familiar to him, but he liked the sound. A woman with a slightly raspy, but still clear voice was accompanied only by an acoustic guitar. What he didn't like was that it was depressing. He stood in the doorway for a while and just looked at Rachel. She was curled up on her bed, facing the wall. At first she appeared to be asleep but then he realized she was too tense to be asleep. As the song once again filled the air he tried to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do now.

_I don't like you, but I love you._

_Seems that I'm always thinking of you._

_Oh, oh, oh you treat me badly, I love you madly._

_You've really got a hold on me._

_You've really got a hold on me._

_I don't want you, but I need you._

_Don't wanna kiss you, but I need to._

_Oh, oh, oh you do me wrong now, my love is strong now._

_You've really got a hold on me._

_You've really got a hold on me._

_I love you and all I want you to do is just_

_Hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me._

_I want to leave you, don't want to stay here._

_I don't want to spend another day here._

_Oh, oh, oh, oh you do me wrong now._

_My love is strong now._

_You've really got a hold on me._

_I said you've really got a hold on me._

_I love you and all I want you to do is just_

_Hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me._

He walked quickly across the room and turned the music off. In any other circumstance it would be a cool song, but shit it was depressing. Rachel shot up in bed when she suddenly realized that someone else was in her room and for the first time Puck was able to get a good look at her. _Damn you Finn Hudson!_ Her eyes were red, her face puffy from crying. It was obvious she hadn't showered in days because her hair was stringy and hung around her face. But he honestly didn't care about the way she looked. What got to him was her eyes. Eyes that just a few days ago had sparkled with confidence and determination now seemed weak and hurt. He could see the pain. But even worse he saw defeat and that was not acceptable.

"What the hell are you still doing in bed, Berry? We've got Regionals in four days and there's no way I'm letting those shitheads from Carmel steal our trophy just because our star performer decided to take a couple days off." He hated saying it, but at that moment he needed the fighter in Rachel to come out, not the broken little girl that currently sat before him.

"Didn't you hear? I'm sick." she said belligerently as she began to lay back down on her bed.

"Bullshit you're sick," Puck said angrily even though his anger wasn't directed at Rachel. He crossed the room and pulled her up from the bed, making her stand in front of him. Looking straight into her eyes he said, "He's a dumb fuck that doesn't know what the hell he's given up. Don't let him beat you down. You're better than that. You're better than him. Hell, Berry, you're better than any loser in this stupid cow town. I'm not going to let you wallow up here listening to depressing music. Now you're going to get into that bathroom and take a shower and you're going to dress in something other than those sweats you're wearing because this room reeks of self-pity and if there's one thing that doesn't look good on you, it's pity."

She stood there staring at him and for a moment he worried that he'd gone too far in his effort to snap her out of her depressive state, but then he saw a flicker in her eyes and she said in a voice that was just slightly more than a monotone, "That music isn't depressing. It happens to be _She & Him_ and I like it."

"Whatever," he said with a satisfied smirk, "it made me want to shove an ice pick in my ears. Now I'm going downstairs to make us some lunch and you're gonna get your hot little ass in that shower." As he moved to leave the room he gave her ass a little smack and smiled to himself when he noticed the tiny smile she flashed so quickly if he hadn't been looking for it he would have never seen it.

He busied himself in her kitchen making lunch. It took him a while because he had to keep opening and closing cupboards to try to find everything, but by the time Rachel walked into the kitchen 45 minutes later he had two plates sitting on the island bar in her kitchen, each with a turkey sandwich on wheat bread and a glass of Coke sitting next to them. He looked up and flashed a soft smile at her as she walked into the kitchen. Her hair was still damp, but she had brushed it out and she was now wearing a pair of blue jeans and a gray sweatshirt that said "Defy Gravity" in green lettering across the front.

Silently she climbed onto the bar stool at the island and took a sip of her soda as Puck took the stool next to her. A comfortable silence rested between them as they began to eat their lunch. Puck pretended to be completely involved in consuming his own sandwich, but really he couldn't take his eyes off Rachel. He watched her every movement in his peripheral vision and it worried him. She picked at her sandwich, taking small bites occasionally, but mostly she just stared at the plate in front of her as if it held the answers to the mysteries of the universe. As she picked a small piece of turkey from her sandwich and placed in between her lips she finally spoke. It was almost a whisper. "How's your grandfather?"

He looked at her with a quirked brow. _Really? That's what she's going to talk about?_ But then he figured she probably needed a safe subject to get going so he responded. "The doctors said it's bad, but it could have been worse. He's going to need in-home assistance for a while and physical therapy and stuff. He could talk, which is good, but his words were slurred and sometimes he can't say what he's really trying to say and he gets frustrated, which makes it worse. But overall he's going to be okay. My mom stayed in Cleveland with my sister to get everything set up for when he gets released from the hospital and then they're going to take the bus back home."

"She should enjoy that," Rachel said with a soft smile. "I mean your sister. Riding the bus on a long trip always seemed like such an adventure to me when I was her age. Of course, now it probably wouldn't be. I'd be too busy thinking about the cramped space and who I was stuck with on the bus."

Puck smiled. It was the most she'd spoken in over an hour and he had to admit to himself that he missed Berry's almost constant chatter. "Yeah, she's excited. I'm sure she'll be over it pretty quickly when she realizes how long of a bus ride it takes to get to Lima from Cleveland."

Rachel smiled, but didn't say anything else until about ten minutes later when she finally pushed her plate away having only eaten about half of her sandwich. "Do you think I imagined it, Noah?" she asked quietly, her voice quivering from emotions she was trying so desperately to hold in.

"Imagined what?" he asked her.

"You know," she replied quietly. "Did I read more into his feelings than what was actually there? Did I think he loved me because I loved him so desperately? I've spent the last two days going over every moment of our relationship, if you can even call it that, just trying to find an answer. I suppose I should have known when he wouldn't acknowledge me outside my bedroom walls as anything more than a friend, but at the time I had thought it was because Quinn had hurt him so badly he was just trying to guard his heart. Was I just fooling myself?" Finally she turned and looked at Puck. She had been avoiding making direct eye contact with him since she'd entered the kitchen because she was afraid that one look from him and she would fall apart again. Now as she stared into those hazel eyes she didn't feel as though she were going to crumble to a million pieces. She actually felt stronger than she had since Finn had confessed to her that horrible Saturday morning. Puck gave her strength. He was her rock, but even so tears she was no longer able to hold back streamed down her face.

Wordlessly he slid off the stool and pulled her to him. He instinctively knew she didn't need him to push her anymore. What she needed was comfort and reassurance from him and he was so ready to give it. "You didn't misread anything Rachel," he said firmly. He rested his lips against the crown of her head as she cried into his chest. "Finn's a douche. He couldn't make up his mind so he kept dragging both of you along. I could tell Quinn was surprised today in glee practice when I said Finn and you were dating. She didn't know."

Rachel pulled back with fear in her eyes. "They know?"

"Not any details. They just think you two were dating and that you broke up," he reassured her. "When Schuester said you were sick and Finn was the only one that looked guilty I realized something was wrong. And then there was a vibe those two were giving off and I could just tell. I may not have attended a math class for two years, but I can still put two and two together Berry." He gave her a cocky smile and she couldn't help the short laugh that escaped her lips.

"How am I going to get through this week?" she suddenly cried out. "I have to see him at least twice a day for glee. We're singing lead together on two songs. I don't think I can do this Noah."

Puck placed his hands comfortingly on her shoulders and leaned down so that he could look directly into her worried brown eyes. "You're going to get through this week, Berry. And you know why? Because you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. How many times in the last two years have I thrown a slushie in your face? And yet you walked right up to me on that rainy track and told me you were my friend even if I wasn't yours. That takes balls. And I'm using that as a euphemism or whatever because I know you're a chick and not a dude." She smiled at that and he couldn't help but return her grin. "Listen, it's gonna suck. There's no getting around that. I know you loved him and he broke your heart, but shit like that happens in life and if you're going to be a star then you just got to suck it up for now and show him that he can't bring you down. I'm telling you Berry, making him think that you're over him will go way further in making him feel bad than in letting him see just how much he hurt you."

Rachel took a deep breath and he could see some of her former determination seep back into her eyes and her stance. "The show must go on," she said and it almost sounded like she really meant it.

"Plus," he added, "I'm going to be right beside you. So if it ever feels like it's too hard to sing with Finn or to be around him and act like everything's normal, you just focus on me because babe I'm a stud and I can make anyone forget about any other guy in the room."

"Yes, I imagine you can," she said softly and the way she said it made Puck's heart flip a little. Well, at least it would have if he was a chick, but he's a bad-ass, so it totally didn't do that.

He flashed her his best cocky smirk and said, "Fuck Finn Hudson."

"I'm pretty sure Quinn already took care of that," she replied, which surprised them both. When Puck laughed at her comment she joined him and for the first time in three days she actually almost felt normal. _All thanks to Noah Puckerman, who would have ever thought that would happen? _she thought to herself.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I can't promise to continue to update this quickly, however, currently I have been unable to stop thinking about this story and until I get it written down I'm pretty much useless for anything else. I hope you all continue to enjoy and please continue to let me know what you think. I so enjoy all of your reviews. And thank you again to everyone who's reading this story. It really makes my day! Disclaimer: Please see previous chapters. I don't know if I have to credit the movies mentioned in this chapter because I didn't actually quote them, but just in case, they are "The Transporter" and "The Jane Austen Book Club". Now doesn't that make you curious to read on?**

**CHAPTER TEN**

Rachel took a deep breath before she pushed through the doors to McKinley High on Wednesday morning. She kept repeating the mantra _You can do this _over and over to herself. Puck had stayed with her all afternoon and she couldn't help but smile when she thought about him. Somehow he had seemed to know exactly what she needed at the exact moment she needed it. He was alternatively a bad-ass, his words not hers, then he was her cheerleader, and then suddenly he would be holding her in his strong arms as she cried over the hurt and betrayal she felt over Finn's actions. She didn't know what she would have done without him.

But now, as she walked down the hallway toward her locker she felt the courage he had supplied her with the night before suddenly seeping from her. She didn't want to cry in front of everyone and she felt certain that when she saw Finn that's exactly what she would do. As she turned the corner to walk to her locker she saw him standing four lockers down at his own and suddenly her legs stopped working. She stood still in the hallway as she watched him rummage through his locker.

She had loved him. She loved his voice and how tall he was and that lopsided grin he would give her. She loved how clueless he was sometimes and how he didn't understand half the words she used but he was willing to ask what they meant. Her heart felt as if it were in her throat and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She turned to run back to the safety of her bed and instead ran straight into a solid wall of muscle with hazel eyes.

Puck simply looked down at her and then glanced over her shoulder. He grimaced and then gave her a self-assured smile as he gently took her hand in his own and turned her back toward her locker. Somehow she found the strength to stay in step with him and in no time at all they were standing at her locker and she was fumbling with the combination as Puck leaned against the lockers between her and Finn as if he didn't have a care in the world. He never took his eyes off her.

She could feel Puck's gaze on her as she transferred her books wordlessly. They hadn't even said a single word to each other this morning and yet it was as if she could hear him in her head. _Don't let him get to you Berry. You're stronger than that._ Sooner than she thought possible she realized that her breathing had returned to normal and her hands had stopped shaking. She finally looked straight into Puck's eyes and flashed him a soft smile. From somewhere outside the bubble that Puck had somehow created around her she heard Finn's voice. "Rachel, we need to talk."

She saw Puck's eyes flash with anger, but he stayed silent and didn't move from where he stood between them. "Do you mind Puck? I need to talk to Rachel," Finn said angrily.

Rachel squared her shoulders and looked directly at Finn. "I don't know what we could possibly have to discuss. And Puck is with me, not you. If I want to be alone with you I'll ask him to leave, however, that will never happen again so I wouldn't hold your breath. Or on second thought, go ahead and hold your breath, I really don't care." Turning to Puck, her eyes sparkling and a smile on her face she asked softly, "Noah would you mind walking me to class?" Without even acknowledging Finn, Puck flashed a cocky smirk and offered Rachel his arm, leaving Finn standing alone feeling angry and hurt and like he deserved every bit of it.

Glee practice was more difficult than she had imagined. She tried to focus on the songs and the steps, but every time she had to take Finn's hand or circle him or let his hands rest on her waist her mind would flash to all the times they'd been alone together in the last two months and he had placed his hands in those same places and more. And then she would hear him say those words again. I slept with Quinn. Every moment in glee was like having a knife driven through her heart over and over again.

Well, not every moment. With every break they took, Puck was there. She would lose track of him during the choreography of the routine or get lost in her own mind as she tried to focus on what the next lyrics were she was supposed to sing and then Mr. Schuester would have them stop so he could rework some little bit of choreography or help someone hit just the right note and suddenly Puck would be by her side. He didn't say anything special or whisper words of encouragement. He was simply Puck and his presence gave her the strength she needed to get through her first day singing with the boy who broke her heart.

She had expected everyone in glee to bombard her with questions about her absence, but they seemed to understand she didn't want to speak about it and they let her be. What she didn't know was that Puck had let it be known both yesterday and then this morning through the Kurt-Mercedes grapevine that their use of Rachel's talent and friendship while not extending her the same friendship would be coming to an end and they would start by letting her deal with the Finn/Quinn scandal in her own way. This was the way Kurt and Mercedes had translated Puck's statement from the previous day and then his reiteration this morning when he had informed Kurt that if anyone fucked with Berry he'd fuck them up.

Quinn had been the only one to speak of it to Rachel. They had been the first to arrive at afternoon practice and Quinn had taken the opportunity to speak to the brunette. "Rachel, I just wanted to say I had no idea that Finn was seeing you. I swear to you if I had known I wouldn't have let anything happen on Friday," she said. Rachel thought she sounded genuine, but sometimes it was hard to tell with Quinn.

"I appreciate that, Quinn," she replied as she tried to remain stoic, "but I really don't want to discuss the matter any further. He's chosen you, that much is obvious. And while at the time I didn't realize that there was any kind of competition going on between us in regards to his affections because I truly thought he would never forgive you for cheating on him, I am relieved that this happened sooner rather than later because it has become clear to me that you two truly do deserve each other." At that moment Puck had entered the room followed by Mike and Matt and she had left Quinn standing there as Rachel's view of who she was sunk in.

As soon as practice was over Rachel grabbed her things in an effort to make a quick getaway. She could see Finn making his way over to her and she wondered why he couldn't just leave her alone. They had nothing to say to each other. With a relieved smile she watched as Puck cut him off and reached her first. "I was thinking since my mom's still in Cleveland and your dads are still in Cincinnati maybe we could keep each other company tonight." He had tried to say it without his usual innuendo but he couldn't hold back the sexy grin or the way he raised his eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner. She laughed, but not because the idea was ridiculous, but because she thought Puck was only doing it to get to Finn. "Sounds fabulous," she said as once again they walked away, leaving Finn fuming by himself.

* * *

"Say it! Say it!" Puck shouted loudly with a huge mischievous grin on his face. "No!" Rachel screamed and laughed at the same time. She was currently on her back, pinned beneath Puck as he kept her trapped between his thighs. One hand held both of her wrists above her head and the other was mercilessly tickling her as she screamed and writhed trying to break his hold. "I'm not gonna stop until you say it!" he shouted, laughing at her determination. Tears were now streaming down her face and she could hardly breath. "Okay! Okay!" she finally conceded, "the Transporter is a bad-ass!"

Puck instantly stopped tickling her and with a victorious grin he leaned down and said, "Now see, was that so damn hard?" In the next instant he realized the position they were currently in. His eyes swept across her, from her messy hair flowing across the couch cushions, to her dark sparkling eyes, to her flushed cheeks and heavily rising chest. He felt himself beginning to grow hard and he quickly slid off of her and sat back on the couch, forcing himself not to look at her until he had himself under control.

Rachel pulled herself up from her reclining position and smoothed out her skirt as she tried desperately to ignore the feelings now coursing through her belly. It had begun innocently enough. They had decided to have pizza and a movie and out of her appreciation for Puck's kindness toward her she had let him pick the movie. It was horrible and had no plot. She had advised Puck of the many holes in the storyline and the lack of character development. He told her to be quiet and let him enjoy it. When she had informed him that it seemed as if the whole point of the film was to simply drive fast and blow things up, his response had been "No shit, Berry. I thought the whole point was for him to find his inner woman."

She had been quiet from that point on, but when it ended and Puck insisted that "the dude was a total bad-ass" she could not remain silent any longer and had denied his bad-assness vehemently. And so tickle torture had ensued until she confessed under duress that, yes, the Transporter was definitely a bad-ass.

The only sound in the room was from the television as the theme music and credits continued to run. Rachel wanted to ask Puck what exactly was going on between them, but she was afraid he would laugh at her. They were just friends after all. Then she flashed to what had happened between them on Friday evening. Had she imagined it the same way she'd imagined Finn loved her? As she cast a furtive glance in Puck's direction there was no mistaking his dark brooding eyes, but was that just Puck wanting sex or did he really care for her? Her heart was still too wounded and she knew she couldn't handle any more rejection at this point and so she chose to remain silent.

Puck watched her from his side of the couch. He saw the desire flash in her eyes, but he also saw the fear, the uncertainty. He didn't want to push her for too much, too soon. He was tired of fighting with himself and as he sat on that couch forcing himself not to touch her, not to kiss her lips until they were red and swollen, not to touch every inch of her skin and make her moan for more, he came to accept one simple fact. He had fallen for Rachel Berry. There was no other explanation for the fact that he wanted her so badly but was willing to wait for her until she was ready. It had to be love. It didn't make him a pussy. In fact, being able to admit it only proved just how much of a stud he was. He was pretty sure there was no other dude in the entire school that would admit they'd fallen in love with a chick who obviously didn't love them back. Yeah, he was a stud, but for now he'd keep it to himself.

"Ladies choice for tomorrow's movie so you better make it a good one," he finally said in an effort to bring things back to a normal, comfortable setting.

Rachel smiled. "I know exactly what to pick."

He groaned exaggeratedly and then began to rise from the couch. "I should probably be heading home."

Rachel rose quickly to join him. "Noah," she said quietly as she stood in front him biting her lower lip in a nervous manner. _God I wish she wouldn't do that, _he thought as he swallowed hard. "Noah, I know this may be a lot to ask and you don't have to say yes if you don't want to or if you think it would be a bad idea or anything. I mean, whatever you would like to do is fine," she continued to ramble and he chuckled softly.

"Spit it out Berry."

"Would you stay with me tonight?"

Puck's breath caught in his chest and his eyes went wide for a second.

"I mean, not like _stay_ with me. I'm not asking for a sexual encounter. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I know we're friends, but right now I could really use a friend. I just," she paused and then rethought what she was about to say, "I just don't want to be alone tonight."

Puck took a deep breath and then gave her the softest smile he could muster. "Sure I'll stay with you." Inside he thought he would die. He was pretty sure Rachel Berry was going to be the death of him. Especially that night, when she insisted that they share the same bed and she turned over and cuddled up right next to him. He couldn't help wrapping his arms around her and the realization that she seemed to fit against his body perfectly, like two puzzle pieces that connected to make a better picture, made him groan inwardly. He didn't think he'd be able to actually fall asleep, but when he heard her breath turn to a soft, steady rhythm his entire body seemed to relax and before he knew it he was enjoying one of the deepest, most peaceful sleeps of his life.

* * *

The next two days progressed pretty much the same way. They carpooled to school and Puck helped run interference for Rachel so that she wouldn't have to speak to Finn. It seemed as though the boy who couldn't make up his mind about anything was suddenly so determined to talk to her that he was not going to let it go, but Puck was even more determined to keep him away from Rachel. He would then drive Rachel home where they would spend the rest of the evening hanging out.

Rachel insisted that they do their homework first which Puck didn't really mind because he liked to watch her do her homework. She'd hang her head down so that her hair fell around her face and her brow would furrow in concentration. If she was working on a really difficult problem she'd worry her bottom lip with her teeth and he couldn't help thinking how damn sexy she looked.

He practiced some songs on his guitar and Rachel would hum along if she didn't know the words and belt it out when she did. The night they watched her movie Puck was pretty sure he was going to start having periods if he had to sit through any more of her theatrical choices. What he did enjoy was the fact that during the movie Rachel had moved closer to him on the couch until she was finally snuggled up against him with her head resting on his shoulder. It didn't matter that she was trying to explain to him that "The Jane Austen Book Club" was such a fabulous movie because it proved how timeless Jane's novels truly were.

"Look at these women, Noah," she had said wistfully. "They're modern 21st Century women just living their lives, but as they read each of Jane Austen's novels you can see how much their lives mirror her stories. It just goes to show that the plight of women hasn't changed that much from the 18th Century to the 21st."

"Or that women are just as whiny and bitchy as they've ever been," he supplied, to which he received a prompt jab to the ribs. "Ow! Okay, I'll give one thing to you. That lesbian chick from "Taken" is pretty hot. Ow!" as he received yet another jab, but he didn't care because he could feel her smiling against his shoulder and that made it worth the pain.

The nights were the most difficult. He found he couldn't fall asleep until she had, but she couldn't fall asleep unless she was curled up tightly in his arms. Part of him reveled in the feel of her next to him and the scent of her hair in his nostrils, the way her tiny hands clung to him, but the other part of him couldn't wait until her fathers got back so that he would have an excuse to not sleep next to her and endure this endless sexual torture.

Finally Saturday morning came. Rachel awoke at 6:00 a.m. and immediately began her normal morning routine. Puck laid in bed and watched her workout with his eyes half closed. She was almost back to being herself and it made him wonder just how much had she actually loved Finn. He'd never ask her that, but she seemed to be getting over him pretty easily. Maybe it had been more about the way it ended than the fact that it ended, and that thought gave him a bit of hope.

They drove to the school together and when they climbed on the bus Rachel immediately chose to sit down in the same seat with him. She flashed him an excited smile and grabbed his hand in hers. "Noah, I'm so excited. I feel really good about Regionals. We have to beat Vocal Adrenaline. We just have to." Puck smiled at her, feeling her excitement and determination wash over him, but he couldn't help but feel that tiny seed of fear at the idea that she seemed to need to win maybe a little too much.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: So I stayed up extra late to finish this chapter. I only proofread it twice, so I'm sorry if I missed any errors. Please forgive me. I don't want to give anything away about what happens in this chapter. Please let me know what you think. Disclaimer: Please refer to previous chapters, obviously I don't own Glee, I'm not Ryan Murphy.**

**CHAPTER 11**

**Twenty minutes before the performance by William McKinley's New Directions Glee Club at the Ohio Regional Show Choir Competition:**

"Puck I need to talk to you."

Puck scowled at the blonde girl standing in front of him. "Really? Right now you _need_ to talk to me? We're about to perform. Can't it wait?"

Quinn stood her ground and in a whisper replied, "It's about the baby."

Puck clenched his jaw in response. He glanced around and quickly spotted Rachel going through her vocal warm-ups with Tina and Artie. "Fine," he said turning toward Quinn again, "but let's make it quick." He followed her back stage into what appeared to be a storage area. "What do you need to tell me about the baby that couldn't have waited until after our performances?"

"I've been trying to speak with you all week," she replied defensively, "but you're never alone these days. What's going on between you and Rachel anyway?"

"You dragged me over here to talk about the kid, not Berry, which by the way is none of your damn business."

Quinn decided perhaps the softer approach would be better so she lowered her eyelids so that she'd have to look up at him and forced a soft smile across her face. She knew from experience that it softened her features and Puck could never resist "demure Quinn". "I'm sorry, you're right. Your friendship with Rachel is your own business." She made certain to stress the word "friendship". "Listen Puck," she continued softly, "I know this whole baby business has been hard on you and a big part of that is my fault. I made you feel like a loser, which you're not and letting Finn think that he was the father was a bad choice on my part. I take full responsibility for that."

"Okay," Puck said cautiously. She was looking at him the way she always did when she wanted something she knew he wouldn't give without a fight. It had worked plenty of times in the past, but not anymore. He was now immune to her charms.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Responsibility. Having a baby is a huge responsibility Puck, but raising a child is an even bigger one. There's midnight feedings and diaper changes, making sure they see the doctor and the dentist when they start getting teeth. And that's just as a baby, the older they get the more they cost and the more difficult it is. Raising a child requires a lot of time and money, which are two things we are both in very short supply of."

"I know it's hard work," Puck interrupted her. "Don't you think I know that? I've thought about all of that stuff. There are state and federal programs that help single parents. My daughter would never go hungry. She'll never be without a roof over her head or clothes on her back because I would do anything, absolutely _anything_ for her. You know what else she'll never be without? My love. And that's important for raising a kid too, Quinn. It's not just about money, it's about showing your kid that you love them so much you're willing to sacrifice and work to keep them with you."

"And how much love will you be able to give your daughter when you're working two to three different jobs just to supply her with the necessities, Puck!" she cried out in frustration. "You'll never see her because you'll be working a bunch of dead end jobs you'll have to take because you didn't go to college, if you even finish high school. She's not going to think how wonderful her daddy is because he works so hard to provide for her. She's going to think about all the school functions you miss because you're working, all the late nights that the babysitter put her to sleep because you're working, all the birthdays you can't make it to because you're working and then she'll be a teenager and she'll hate you Puck." Quinn suddenly stopped her tirade and tried desperately to reign herself in. She saw the hurt in his eyes at her words and she was truly sorry, but she needed him to see the reality of what the future could hold if he kept to the course he was currently pursuing.

"I'm sorry if this hurts you Puck. I truly am. It hurts me too. Do you think it's going to be easy for me to hand my child over to a couple of strangers? She's been growing inside of me, Puck. I feel her move and kick. She gets hiccups." She couldn't stop the tears that welled up in her eyes but she continued. "I found a couple. They live in Cincinnati. They're really nice and they've been trying to have a baby for a while, but she can't carry to full term so they've decided to adopt. Puck, they're willing to do an open adoption with some limitations, but we could discuss the details later. Please, Noah."

Puck's eyes flashed with anger. "Don't call me Noah," he said fiercely.

She had heard Rachel call him Noah and had hoped that it would be the one thing that might push him over the edge in her direction, but she realized her mistake and hoped it hadn't ruined any progress she may have made. With a deep breath she decided to make one last plea. "You said you'd do anything for your daughter, Puck. Will you do what's best for her? Will you let her be adopted by parents who are ready and able to handle the responsibility of raising a child? Please do this for her."

Mr. Schuester's voice rang out backstage, "Okay guys. We're up!"

**Twenty minutes before the performance by William McKinley's New Directions Glee Club at the Ohio Regional Show Choir Competition:**

"Rachel I need to talk to you."

Rachel frowned at the tall brown haired boy standing behind her. She was going through her vocal warm-ups with Tina and Artie and she really didn't want to be distracted by Finn right now. She glanced quickly around for Puck hoping that he would somehow pull off one of his magical appearances, but she couldn't see him anywhere. "I have nothing to say to you Finn. You should be preparing for the competition, not trying to discuss irrelevant subjects with me."

His hand gripped her arm firmly and he looked pleadingly into her eyes. "Rachel, please. Just ten minutes."

With a dramatic sigh she said, "Fine, but I'm only giving you five," and then she followed him into the darkened wings of the stage. Finn fidgeted in the shadows. He'd been trying to talk to her for a week and now that she would finally let him he wasn't sure what to say anymore.

"Rachel, I know I hurt you really bad and I'm so sorry that I did that to you. You have to believe me when I say I truly never meant to hurt you."

"I don't have to believe anything Finn," she said angrily. She was clinging desperately to her anger because she knew if she didn't hold onto that there would be no stopping the tears that would flow down her cheeks and she refused to let him see her cry over him.

"Okay." He sounded hurt by her words, but she really didn't care. He should hurt. "I need you to know that when things started with you I really was in to you and I was angry with Quinn. I don't know exactly when things started to change. I think it was all the time we spent hanging out at my house. We couldn't help but start talking and then I realized how much pain she was in and how hard this whole situation had been for her. She didn't want to have a baby, let alone with Puck and that's why she lied to me about it. She just wanted to give her child the best chance possible for a good life."

"I guess I was just hoping that maybe you could understand what happened from my point of view. Quinn needed me and even though she hurt me I just couldn't push her completely out of my life or out of my heart. And then you started hanging out with Puck. The one guy in the world I don't trust and that I didn't want anywhere near you and you didn't even seem to care that it bothered me."

"Don't you even try to use my friendship with Puck as an excuse for what you did." The words had come out in a low whisper, but she said them with such venom in her voice he actually took a step back. "You spent all week trying to talk to me so that you could tell me how you fell back in love with Quinn?! And then you have the audacity to try to place the blame for your indiscretion, for your betrayal, on Puck who has only been a friend to me."

"Please Rachel," Finn spat out in disgust, "like that's all Puck wants. I've known him a lot longer than you and take my word for it, Noah Puckerman doesn't do anything if there isn't something in it for him."

"You may have known him longer, but I'm fairly certain I know him better. And how dare you try to make yourself out to be better than him. You cheated Finn. Not Puck. You. You're the one that made the first move when you kissed me that night. You're the one that kept it going, that came over to my house, that invited me out on a date and then had drunken sex with your ex-girlfriend. Not Puck. You."

Finn sighed deeply. "Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to become about Puck. I just, God Rachel, I still like you. I want us to be able to be friends and I feel like if we don't talk about what happened then we may never get back to that place we were before things became physical between us. I know I should have been honest with you about my feelings, but it was so hard because I really did enjoy being with you and everything. I just felt so torn. Then when you left me alone that night and Quinn stayed and she was so nice and it felt like it used to when we were together before Puck screwed everything up, I just, I made a mistake. I know I should have ended things with you before it went so far with Quinn. I wish I could change the way things turned out; that I could take away the pain I caused you."

Rachel stood there as his words sunk deep into her. She felt as if she were back in her living room and it was last Saturday and her heart was being ripped from her chest all over again. Her eyes welled up with tears as she fought to choke back the anguished sobs that threatened to push out of her chest. How could he possibly say these things to her and think that it wasn't destroying her? Was he really that insensitive or was he just completely oblivious?

Mr. Schuester's voice rang out backstage, "Okay guys. We're up!"

* * *

Puck was seriously worried. He'd watched Rachel on the bus ride back to Lima with a sense of dread and worry he couldn't quite explain. No one else seemed to notice. Or maybe it was actually that they were afraid to wake the sleeping hurricane that was Rachel Berry. The bus ride was loud with everyone shouting, laughing, and making plans for next year. Mr. Schuester was already throwing out ideas for new routines and writing down suggestions that were made. But Puck was distracted because he couldn't take his eyes off of Rachel who had chosen to sit in the front row of the bus, away from everyone else, and had not said a single word since the last routine had been performed.

As soon as the bus doors whooshed open Rachel was down the steps and walking quickly to Puck's truck. She waited there for him, tapping her foot until he unlocked the doors and she climbed in. He swallowed hard as he turned toward her house and kept throwing quick glances in her direction, but she acted as if he wasn't even there. She just stared out the window, her leg now participating in the rhythmic tapping her foot had been doing earlier. He considered trying to start a conversation, but for the life of him he couldn't think of anything to say.

He had barely pulled the truck to a complete stop in her driveway before her door was opening and she jumped to the ground and went quickly into her house. He sat in the cab for a minute and then with a resigned sigh he followed her into the house and up the stairs where he found her in her bedroom. She stood at her vanity with her back to him and he could see she was holding a framed picture in her hands. He couldn't currently see the photo, but he knew it was the group shot they'd all taken after winning Sectionals. They had all received a copy and she had hers framed and kept it on her vanity so that she could remind herself every morning of how far they had all come together.

She had been so still and so quiet for so long that her burst of sudden movement startled him as she flung the picture against the wall with all her might. It made a loud thud followed by the distinct sound of cracking glass. She turned and he could see a rage burning in her eyes that he had never seen before and he was at once both turned on and terrified. She ripped her "goal poster" off the wall, tearing the Regionals banner to shreds as she suddenly screamed out, "Second place!"

"Second place!" she yelled again as if she couldn't believe her own words. "They're laughing and clapping and cheering for second god damn place! I'm fucking sick and tired of being in fucking second place!"

Puck had never seen her so angry and he'd definitely never heard her curse. It was surreal. And he realized that her tirade was just beginning.

"I didn't work and sacrifice all these months to come in second place to those prima donnas over at Carmel High. I'm so furious! And I have no one to blame, but myself. I'm surprised the team didn't rip me apart on the bus. I would have deserved it."

"That's the craziest thing I've ever heard you say Berry," Puck finally spoke up. "You were perfection up there tonight. Carmel had those judges in their pocket, that's all."

She looked at him as if she were noticing he was there for the first time. "You've never lied to me before, Noah. Don't start now." She was no longer screaming, but he could still hear the anger in her voice. "I started a half beat too late on the first number and in the middle of the second when I was supposed to circle Finn I forgot and he covered for me by circling me instead."

"Berry, that's stuff the judges would never notice. First of all your timing was perfect and you hit every note like a fucking Broadway star. The judges would have no idea who was supposed to circle who. You're putting too much on yourself. We win as a team and we lose as a team."

"Where were you?" she suddenly asked, her tone accusing. He had a suspicious feeling that they had just changed subjects and he had no idea where this was heading.

"Where was I when?"

"Before we performed. I looked for you and I couldn't find you."

He had no reason to feel guilty. He hadn't done anything wrong, and yet he couldn't help the feeling of guilt that crept over him when he realized she'd needed him for some reason and he hadn't been there for her because he'd been with Quinn, no matter how innocent it had been. "Quinn needed to talk to me about something," he said quietly.

If fire could have physically shot from her eyes at that very moment it would have. "Quinn!" she screamed. "I'm so sick and tired of hearing about Quinn Fabray. Quinn's so pretty. Quinn's so nice. Quinn was there so you just had to fuck her!" Her voice had risen an octave with each statement and as she reached the last one Puck thought she might actually hurt herself if she continued.

He didn't know what to say in response to her. He just stood there watching her and she suddenly seemed so small, as if the storm that had been feeding her suddenly went calm and there was nothing left to keep her going. Her shoulders slumped and she looked at him with dark eyes as she said in the saddest voice he'd ever heard, "I'm so tired of coming in second." She shivered as if she were suddenly cold and then with a faltering voice she continued, "I just want it all to go away. I want to forget the last few months. I want to forget everything."

Later he would say he did it because he's a stud and that's what studs do, but in that moment he wasn't sure why he did it. He'd never seen this side of Rachel. Oh sure, he knew she was competitive to an almost obsessive degree. He knew she could turn on the water works without warning and that she could turn around and be the kindest, sweetest person to someone who had treated her like shit. But he'd never seen this raging, angry, hurt little creature that made him want to champion her and protect her all at the same time. And when she almost begged to just forget he did the only thing he knew how to do to make a woman forget.

His legs carried him to her in two long strides, his hands gripped her face and pulled her to him roughly as he crushed her lips with his own. "Mmph," she mumbled in surprise as her mind tried to figure out exactly what was going on. Her body, on the other hand, had no problem reacting to his kiss. Her hands snaked up and around his head as she pulled him closer to her. When he felt her return the kiss he moved his hands down the length of her body until they rested on her hips and he pulled her to him with such force they almost fell backward together.

A soft moan escaped her throat as his tongue requested and was granted access to her mouth. _Oh my God, what is happening?_ she cried out to herself, but she couldn't stop. There was a fire burning inside her and it felt as though Puck was the only person in the world that could put it out. It didn't occur to her until later that perhaps that was because he had been the one that started the fire in the first place.

She tasted so good and he wanted to taste more of her but he was afraid to leave her mouth for fear that she would be able to speak. That she'd tell him to stop. When her hands made their way to his chest and then down to the edge of his shirt, tugging the button-up free from his pants and then with shaking hands began to work on the buttons he pulled away long enough to rip the offending article off himself and then was back to her mouth, her neck, her jawline. _God I can't get enough of her._

The feel of his warm skin under her hands was better than anything she had ever imagined and the sounds escaping her throat as his lips and tongue and teeth sent her into a frenzy would have embarrassed her had she even cared at that moment. But she didn't care. All she wanted, all she could think of was the way his body felt so close to hers and the things his mouth did to her. When his fingers went to work on the buttons of her own shirt she didn't stop him.

He could feel the friction of the lace from her bra against his chest as he ran his hands over her ass and cupped her, drawing her up towards him. He was slightly surprised, but happily so, when he felt her lift herself up and wrap her legs around his waist. He stood in the middle of her room, holding her against him and looked into her glazed eyes. He would stop if she wanted him to. She leaned down and kissed him, grazing her tongue over his top lip and he groaned as he laid her on the bed.

She couldn't believe this was happening. How did they get to this place? She had never felt this way with Puck. No, she had never felt this way with anyone. When she had dated Puck for that one week she had been using him as a substitute for Finn, imagining that he was Finn. Now she knew for a fact that they were nothing alike and she could truly appreciate the things Puck was doing to her body. _Wait, he's your friend! Oh God, friends don't do that,_ she thought as an electric shiver ran up her spine. _Noah Puckerman doesn't do anything unless there's something in it for him_. She tried to force the words out of her mind, to forget about the moments following that statement. _Second place. You'll always be second place._

Her skin felt like fire under his hands as he slowly slid them up her thighs. He bent down and kissed her exposed belly, nipped softly at her hip bone and dragged his tongue over her belly button. He hadn't intended for this to happen, but when she had responded so readily to his initial kiss he had decided he wouldn't stop unless she asked him to. He'd waited so long, been tortured all those nights sleeping beside her and not being able to do all the things he wanted to do to her. As his lips reached her breasts he kissed around the edges of her bra and let his teeth graze softly over her hardened nipples.

Slowly he raised his eyes to hers. He needed to see her eyes, needed to know that she wanted this as much as he did. _Shit._ Tears were streaming down her face. There were no sobs shaking her body, no physical signs that she was crying, except for the salty water that poured from her eyes. She looked at him and shook her head, unable to speak. "Rachel," he said huskily as he crawled the rest of the way up to her. Without another word he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. He could feel her tears falling against his chest and his heart ached for her.

He didn't know why she had started crying and he hoped it wasn't anything he had done. He hoped she wasn't regretting the kiss and everything that had happened between them in the last few moments, because he didn't regret it and he knew there would be no going back to the way they were before. There was no way in hell he could just be Rachel's friend, not knowing how wonderful she felt and how good she tasted.

And so he laid there and held her close, his hands brushing back her hair, his fingers ghosting over her arm and her back. He murmured to her that everything would be okay even though he had no idea if that was true. He placed soft kisses against her forehead and her cheek. Until finally the tears dried up. He reached across her and grabbed a tissue off the nightstand and handed it to her. She discreetly cleaned her face of the remnants of her tears and then dried his chest where they had fallen. Tilting her chin up so that her chocolate eyes had to look into his concerned hazel eyes he said, "I think maybe we should talk."


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I love all of your reviews. They keep me going at a steady clip with this fic. Once again I had a hard time writing this chapter. I think I worry so much about trying to strike the right atmosphere between Puck and Rachel that I stress about the chapters that are mostly progressing their relationship, which is what this one is. Also, I had to consider plot points for future chapters. So it took me a little longer. It was mentioned to me that perhaps I wasn't showing enough of Rachel's thoughts and feelings so I really made an effort to make them more clear in this chapter. I appreciate all the comments on this fic, I can't even tell you all how much it means. Please don't stop reviewing (or believing, hehe) I love to hear your thoughts. Disclaimer: Obviously Glee and its characters are not mine.**

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

"Perhaps we should put our clothes back on," she said quietly as she felt embarrassment warm her skin at the realization that she was currently shirtless in the arms of an also shirtless Noah Puckerman.

His answer to her suggestion was to pull her closer to him. He leaned down and mumbled, "Hmm mmm," as he nuzzled her neck and then placed a soft kiss on her bare shoulder. He couldn't get enough of her. He was amazed at how soft her skin was and how good she smelled and tasted and he just couldn't stop touching her. Even as he pulled back to look into her eyes his hand continued to slowly ghost across her arm, make trails down her side, over her back, around to her belly. He had no control over it, he just had to touch her.

Gazing down at her with concerned eyes that seemed suddenly very green he said with a lazy smile, "I like the way we are right now."

"Noah, I can't talk to you in my bra," she whispered in a shocked tone.

A sexy smirk flashed across his face as he said, "If you insist," and reached his hand up for the clasp.

"Noah!" she shrieked as she jumped up from the bed and quickly crossing the room began putting her shirt back on her body with trembling fingers. He remained on the bed smiling at her in a way that made her feel almost giddy. This only proved to make her feel even more embarrassed and she picked up his shirt from off the floor and threw it at him. "Stop looking at me like that." She had meant to sound furious and in charge, but somehow her voice came out sounding shy.

His response was to grin even more broadly and wiggle his eyebrows at her. "I can't help it babe, you're hot and what just happened was hot and I just want to sit here and simmer for a minute in the fire that two amazingly hot Jews just sparked."

She frowned at him, but he could see the hints of a smile curl at the edges of her lips as she tried to fight it back. "You should be careful. Overusing a phrase can make it seem meaningless."

He had to laugh at that. Only Berry would be coaching him on his choice of words only minutes after having her legs wrapped around him and his tongue in her mouth. "Come here," he smiled as he motioned for her to join him on the bed once again.

"Why? So we can simmer together?" she said crossly.

"No Berry. So we can talk," he said seriously. He watched her as she battled with herself, trying to decide if she should join him or stay where she was.

Rachel's eyes grazed over his still bare chest, catching the glint of his nipple ring as she finally reached his face. When she locked eyes with him she felt as if a weight were suddenly on her chest and she found it difficult to breath. _What is happening to me?_ she thought with a touch of fear. Her body was betraying her. Never in her life had she not been in complete control, especially of her own reaction to stimuli, and yet when he had kissed her and touched her, even now when he looked at her, she had no control over the shivers that ran through her belly and up her spine.

"Put your shirt on," she said.

"What?"

"Put your shirt on and I will join you on my bed so that we may have a discussion," she demanded once again. Puck chuckled softly and with a sigh slipped back into the button-up he'd worn for the competition. Rachel noticed he didn't button it up, but at least it was covering him up more. Enough that she felt she could trust herself to sit next to him. She sat on the edge of the bed in preparation to scoot further back against the headboard. She let out a surprised gasp when his strong arms suddenly reached around her and easily pulled her toward him until her back rested against his chest; his jean clad legs opening up to make room for her against his body.

She breathed in deeply and tried to calm the racing of her heart as his warm calloused fingers gently brushed the hair away from her neck so that he could place a soft kiss there. "Noah, this isn't talking," she breathed out sharply. She could feel his lips smile against her neck.

"Okay Berry. Let's talk," he breathed huskily against her ear as he ran his left hand down the length of her arm. When his hand reached its destination he entwined his fingers with hers and stayed that way. "Obviously something happened before Regionals that I'm not aware of. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. Quinn needed to talk to me about the baby and I didn't want to have it out in front of everybody. Especially, since things between her and me always seem to get so angry."

Rachel sighed heavily. She shouldn't have been angry at Puck for not being there to fend off Finn and now that she knew where he was she felt guilty for even bringing it up. "What did she want?" she asked quietly.

"Pretty much the same old thing. I don't understand the amount of responsibility it takes to raise a child, I'm a Lima Loser who'll never amount to anything. You know, the usual."

She could hear the hurt in his voice even if she couldn't see his face and it made her heart ache for him. "None of those things are true Noah. I think you're fully aware of how difficult it would be. That's why it's so hard for you to make this decision. And you are not a loser. You're a very talented musician and singer. You just haven't found your passion. Once you find that I have every confidence that there's nothing that will hold you back from reaching whatever goals you set before you." As if to reassure him that she meant the words she spoke she reached up with her free right hand and gave him a backwards hug, squeezing his shoulder towards her.

"I guess she found some people who want to adopt the baby," he then whispered. He could feel Rachel take in a deep breath before she spoke.

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't really know. She didn't give me any details about them, but they'd be willing to do some kind of open adoption or something like that. I'm still trying to deal with it I think. The idea of someone else raising my kid, of her calling some other dude "Daddy", it just makes me want to throw up." He was quiet for a while and Rachel sensed that he still had more to stay so she remained quiet. "But then I think, what kind of life would she really have with me? I mean I know she'd feel how much I loved her. But maybe these people Quinn found would be able to give her that love too. I know they'd probably be able to give her a lot of opportunities that I would never be able to. I just keep going back and forth and it's driving me crazy."

"You know I can't tell you what to do Noah," she said softly, "but I'm always here when you want to talk about it. Sometimes it helps to say things out loud. It might help you see either the flaw or the brilliance in a course of action. For instance, when I'm working on a song I know how it sounds in my head, but it's not until I actually try to hit the note that I know exactly how much I should put into each note; whether I should pull back and let the melody come out softly or if I should power through it."

They were quiet for a while as each of them wandered in their own thoughts, until Puck said, "Your turn."

She sighed and began absentmindedly running her thumb along the flesh of his palm. She knew he was asking what had caused her so much anguish before the competition and she answered him with one word. "Finn." She could instantly feel the muscles in his body tense and he squeezed her hand a little tighter.

"What did he do?" Puck forced out between clenched teeth. It enraged him that Finn had used the one moment that Puck hadn't been there to corner Rachel and in the back of his mind he wondered if it had been a coincidence or not.

"He felt the need to inform me of how sorry he was."

"He should be sorry. He betrayed you and hurt you. He did the same thing that he's so angry with me for, only worse because I wasn't in a relationship when I was with Quinn."

"Oh, he didn't apologize for sleeping with Quinn," Rachel corrected him bitterly. "He wanted to let me know how sorry he was that he hadn't been honest with me when he first started having feelings for her again. Then he tried to tell me the reason he turned to her in the first place was because of my friendship with you which I informed him was not going to be even entertained by me. He said he was sorry that he hadn't broken up with me before he slept with Quinn, but that it was kind of my fault since I had the audacity to leave him alone at a party at which there was alcohol, I knew he had been drinking, and Quinn was in attendance."

Puck sat in stunned silence. "He actually said that?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, not in those words. There's no way Finn's grasp of the English language would make him capable of stating such things verbatim," she laughed derisively, "but that was pretty much the gist of it. Yeah." She felt his body shake behind her as he laughed and she couldn't help but smile as well.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." Puck paused. He wasn't sure if now was the best time to bring it up. After all he was new to this whole talking thing, but Berry seemed to be into honesty and she respected people who spoke their minds. "Is that why you started crying when we were making out? You were thinking about him?" He didn't really want to know the answer because he was pretty sure he was right and he didn't want to know that in the midst of one of the hottest make-out sessions of his life so far the girl he couldn't get enough of was thinking of some other dude.

"Yes," she whispered, "and no." She sighed and leaned further back against him, letting her body completely relax. She felt safe with him. There was true friendship between them and that lent itself to a kind of trust she didn't feel with anyone else in her life, except her fathers. "I wasn't really thinking about him. It was more about things he said and how he made me feel." She was quiet then. She didn't want to tell Puck what Finn had said about him. She didn't want him to think that she had doubted the sincerity of his actions for even a moment because she could see from the way he had treated her from the moment he realized she was crying that he wasn't just trying to hook up with her. And now, as she leaned against him feeling his strength and being warmed by his body she couldn't fathom why Finn's hateful words had even entered her mind.

"You going to tell me?" he asked quietly as he let his lips lightly brush against the shell of her ear.

"I was feeling defeated and rejected. I had put a lot of work into Regionals and to lose was really difficult for me."

"This wasn't about glee," he said sternly. He had been honest with her about his feelings and he wasn't about to let her deflect his questions and make him think this whole thing was about losing to Vocal Adrenaline. _So what? My mom likes Dr. Phil and I've picked up a few things._

"Finn hurt me," she started slowly, "because I let myself believe that I came first in his heart. He kissed me and touched me and told me how pretty I was and then he ripped my heart out. I wanted to win today because I needed that feeling I had after we won Sectionals. I needed to feel like I was first in some way, that I was special enough for other people to notice me. And then just before we went on he had to remind me that once again I was beaten out by Quinn with her blonde hair that never looks frizzy and her perfect nose and perfect body and personality that for some reason makes everyone bow to the altar of Quinn. He had to let me know that I'll always come in second."

She wasn't sure she should continue, but she decided that since he had been honest with her about his feelings she should reciprocate, especially considering how difficult she knew it was for Puck to be honest about how he felt. Taking her right hand she covered his hand that was still interlocked with her own and pulled it up toward her, folding his arm across her chest. "He may have also insinuated during our conversation that you didn't have the most honorable of intentions when befriending me. That perhaps you were only interested in one thing and were using me to get it."

Rachel felt his arms tighten around her and could sense he was getting ready to speak so she beat him to it. "I'm sorry Noah. I know that you're truly my friend and that what happened today wasn't part of some scheme you concocted to get me to have sex with you. But it all happened so suddenly and in the moment I remembered what he'd said and all the hurt he's caused me and the idea that once again I was just an afterthought, second place to your desires, it just was overwhelming and I cried."

Inside he was seething. Knowing that Finn had made Rachel feel like that made him so angry he wanted to go out and find him right now and beat the living shit out of him. Puck needed her to know, though, that the seed of doubt Finn had planted in her brain wasn't true. With his right hand he gently reached up and cupping her chin he turned her toward him so that he could look in her eyes. Deep chocolate pools that he could get lost in and that seemed to be able to see things in him he couldn't even see. "You need to know something Rachel. I really want to have sex with you, but even if we never do it I will always be your friend. No one's going to hurt you ever again, not while I'm around."

She smiled at him broadly and said, "Oh, my very own Sweeney Todd."

Puck quirked an eyebrow at her. "I am way more bad-ass than Johnny Depp."

Rachel gasped and laughed. "Oh, Noah, you got my reference. That's so sweet even though you thought I was referencing the movie and not the Broadway musical. "Not While I'm Around" is a song from that musical. And what you said means even more because I know they were your own words and you weren't just using song lyrics to get to me."

Puck grinned at her. He hadn't known it was a musical, but that just showed how much of a stud he was. He was able to quote songs that totally turned her on even without knowing about them. Oh, yeah. "So are we done talking?" he asked huskily as he let his hand begin to trail slowly up her thigh.

Rachel gasped and quickly extricated herself from Puck's embrace. Sitting across from him on the bed she looked concerned. She tried desperately to focus on his face and not look down at the open shirt where his pectoral muscles bulged and rippled. She was pretty sure he was doing that on purpose. "Noah," she began cautiously, "while I have thoroughly enjoyed our time alone today I feel the need to be cautious about entering into another relationship so quickly after my recent debacle. I do like you and I believe it's fairly obvious from my reaction today that I am attracted to you in a physical way, however, my heart is still mending and I feel it would be unfair to both of us if we were to enter into any kind of sexual relationship at this time."

She couldn't hold his gaze as he thought about what she had just said and so she looked down at her bedspread and began picking nervously at a piece of lint. "So you need time," he finally said after putting her speech through the Berry-normal translation portion of his brain. She nodded her head. He'd already been patient and waited while she was dating Finn, he figured it wouldn't be even as long of a wait with Finn out of the picture. Based on the way she'd kissed him back he estimated maybe two weeks tops before she was begging for some Puckerone action. "Okay."

The brilliant smile that flashed across her face was quickly replaced with a look of fear at the sound of car doors closing. She leaped up from her bed and raced to her window. "My dads are home!" she cried frantically. "Quick! Button up your shirt. Straighten out the bed. Do you think they'll be able to tell?"

Puck laughed. "Tell what Berry? That you didn't have sex today with your best friend? Yeah, I think they'll be able to tell."

She looked sheepishly at him. "Shut up, Puck," she said with a playful smile on her lips.

He laughed and jumped up from the bed. Standing in front of her he buttoned his shirt as she had asked, but he took his time and he watched her watching him the whole time. _Maybe less than two weeks_, he thought with a smirk. They heard the front door open and one of her dad's called out that they were home. Before she could walk toward the door Puck reached out and grabbed her left hand. Holding it up so that they could both see he moved his hand down and fingered the silver bracelet that had remained there from the moment he'd placed it on her wrist. "I want to make one thing clear," he said quietly as he looked steadily into her eyes. "You're never in second place with me."


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, obviously. I'm sorry about the delay on this. My computer got sick and had to have a complete system restore and in the meantime I lost my muse. Hope you enjoy this update. Let me know what you think. I'm trying to get back into the groove so we'll see how quickly I can post the next chapter. Thanks for all the alerts and reviews. You guys are all totally awesome!**

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

Puck stood in the doorway to the crowded cafeteria as the clanging of silverware against plastic trays and boisterous teens shouting across the room at each other drowned out any other sound in the room. Artie was easy to spot at the edge of the gleek table. He quickly scanned the group sitting there, but when he didn't find who he was looking for he left the din of the lunch room behind. Making a quick search of the music room and the auditorium proved to be just as fruitless. Finally when he walked out onto the campus he spotted the object of his search.

She was sitting on the ground underneath the shade of a large oak tree, her legs curled neatly underneath her. As he approached he could see that she had spread out her coat on the grass and was sitting upon it. "Hey Berry," he said as he sat down on the grass next to her. A half smirk played across his lips as he noticed her nervously tug at the hem of her skirt even though it was already covering as much as it was going to, which wasn't very much.

"Noah," she said with a shy smile as she averted her eyes. She had purposefully sought solitude for the lunch hour because she needed time to think. Time to figure out how she could still feel so hurt over Finn's actions and yet have such strong feelings for Puck at the same time. There was no denying she felt a pull toward the dark haired boy. He made her feel and do things that were completely unexpected and out of character, which was for her both exciting and terrifying.

"Are you going to eat those?" Puck asked nodding toward a small bag of Cheetos lying beside her lunch carrier. She shook her head no and handed him the bag, smiling as he tore into them and threw a handful in his mouth. They sat in comfortable silence as he crunched on her chips and she nibbled on the rest of her sandwich. "So," he said after noisily sucking the cheese remnants from his fingers, "are you avoiding the gleeks, Finn, or me?"

"What? I'm not avoiding anyone." Even as the words came out of her mouth she knew she sounded too defensive and when he cocked his eyebrow at her she chuckled and shook her head. Looking down at the grass she slowly started pulling at the blades. _Why am I always so nervous around him?_ "It's a beautiful day out. It's the last week of school, summer's approaching; I'm just enjoying the outside air for a change."

"So you're avoiding me," he said and if she didn't know better she would have thought he sounded hurt.

"No," she denied, "why would you think that?"

"Because if you were avoiding anyone else besides me you would have told me the truth instead of coming up with some lame-ass "I'm enjoying the weather" excuse." His words sounded angry as he continued, "I know you said you needed time, but I thought we were still friends. I may not be the smartest or friendliest guy, but I'm pretty sure friends have lunch with each other. I shouldn't have had to spend half the lunch hour looking for you."

She finally forced herself to make eye contact with him. The sun made his eyes seem like an incredibly intense color of green with tiny flecks of gold. She felt her heart stop in her chest at the hurt and disappointment she read in them. "Noah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel as though I was avoiding you." She paused and then whispered, "You make me nervous."

She watched as his eyes darkened. "Why do I make you nervous?" he asked in a low, sexy voice that made her lower stomach do flips and she unconsciously clenched her legs closer together.

"You know why," she breathed in response.

He gave her a slow smile and since he'd promised her that they would take it slow he decided to let her off the hook. "I'm not really upset with you anyway. I was just taking it out on you and I shouldn't have done that." For the first time she noticed that he carried a manila envelope with him. "Quinn gave this to me before third period," he said as he tossed it on the grass in front of Rachel.

"What is it?" she asked as she reached out and began pulling the papers out. She assumed that since he had tossed it in front of her he wanted to share the contents with her.

"Everything there is to know on paper about the people that want to adopt the baby and the rules for the open adoption." He bit out the sentence as if the words themselves were choking him. Puck was silent as he let Rachel read through the packet of information that he had already scoured through during Biology. He scooted closer to her on the grass so that he could see the documents as well. Even though he'd already read through them multiple times he felt the need to see them again and to know exactly which part she was reading.

Without taking her eyes from the pages she was currently reading Rachel let her hand fall to the ground between them and held Puck's hand comfortingly. It was only then that he realized that while he hadn't been saying anything, he had been fidgeting uncontrollably. Her warm hand in his seemed to have a calming effect on him. His breathing steadied, his eyes became clearer, and the anxiety that was coursing through him, making him feel as if he were going to jump right out of his skin slowly began to seep away. _Amazing,_ he thought as he gazed at the girl sitting next to him.

Finally she set the papers down. "What do you think?" she asked him.

"I don't know," he answered in frustration. "That's why I wanted you to read them."

"Noah," she began, carefully choosing her words, "I'm afraid that if I give you my opinion first that it may color what you tell me. I want you to be honest, not just with me, but with yourself. After reading all of this, what do you think?"

Rachel watched him as he cast his gaze down to the papers now resting between them. She could see the muscles in his jaw contracting as he clenched his teeth together. "I think they're fucking awesome, okay!" he finally said angrily. "He's a fucking doctor and she's an accountant that works from home. They have their shit together and they come from this huge family so they know what having a kid means. Every single person that knows them seems to think the sun shines out of their asses. They have a big ass house with a huge yard where she'll have a swing set and probably some stupid slobbering dog that she'll name Fluffy and she'll be the happiest kid in the whole god damn world!" He slammed his fist into the ground. Noticing a nearby student staring at him he yelled, "You want to know what the inside of a dumpster looks like? Keep staring and I'll fucking show you!"

"Noah," Rachel said quietly, "calm down." She looked apologetically towards the freshman now scurrying off with terror in his eyes. His entire body seemed to shudder as he visibly forced the helpless rage back into a place he could control it. With tired eyes he turned back to her. "I have to give her up," he said as he tried desperately to choke back the emotions he was feeling.

"It's an open adoption, though, Noah," she said trying to give him some kind of hope. "You'll be able to see her and have her in your life in some capacity. She'll know that you're her biological father. She'll know how much you love her."

Puck shook his head. "Only if she wants to. They'll send me and Quinn pictures and keep us updated and they'll tell her she's adopted, but unless she asks to meet us there will be no contact."

Rachel breathed a heavy sigh and squeezed his hand. "Don't make a decision right away. Quinn isn't due until the end of June anyway. You still have a month. Give yourself some more time."

"I need to get out of here," he said gruffly as he gathered up the papers, not bothering to shove them back into the envelope. "I'll see you later," he said as he practically stalked to his truck, a pent-up rage breaking off of him in waves as he left the McKinley campus.

* * *

The way things turned out Puck was way off in his estimation on how long it would take Rachel to give in to a physical relationship with him. She would later say that it was her need to comfort him that had broken the barrier she herself had set up, but Puck insisted it was his irresistible charm and massive guns that finally tipped the scales in his favor. Most likely it was a little bit of both.

It had been two days since Puck's outburst and while they had seen each other in the halls he hadn't approached her and he refused to even let her broach the subject with him. This turned out to be extremely frustrating for Rachel because she felt the best way to get through any problem was to talk it out and who better for him to do that with than her. Even though there were a couple days left of the term she liked to get a head start on cleaning out her locker at the end of each year. She had taken her last final and was just beginning to carefully take the pictures off the inside walls of her locker when she saw Puck nearly running down the hall. She could instantly tell that something was wrong. "Noah!" she cried out, but he continued on as if he hadn't even heard her.

Making a split second decision Rachel slammed her locker shut and took off after him. She was grateful she was so diligent with her exercise regimen because she was certain she wouldn't have caught up with him in time if she weren't in the excellent shape her daily ritual on the elliptical put her in. As it was by the time she reached Puck's truck he was already backing out of the parking space and beginning to pull away. She ran up to the passenger door and tried to open it, but it was locked. "Noah, let me in!" she cried out as she banged her palm against the door.

The sound seemed to snap him out of the tunnel-vision state he was in and he looked at her tiny face peeking in determinedly through the passenger window. She heard the loud click of the door being automatically unlocked and she pulled the handle and quickly climbed up into the cab of the truck. She was frantically trying to put her seat belt on when he peeled out of the campus parking lot.

Her mind was racing with things to say and questions to ask him. _What had happened? Why are you so angry? Do you realize you almost ran me over with your truck!? Where are we going?_ But she couldn't say any of them. She couldn't speak. There was an atmosphere emanating from Puck that she had never felt before and she had to admit to herself that she was a little scared as they weaved their way through Lima, accelerating quickly and then lurching forward into the locked seat belt strap when they would suddenly come up on a vehicle actually going the speed limit. She watched Puck as he slammed the stick shift in to and out of gears with taut muscles, his eyes a dark green, his jaw muscles flexing as they made their way out of the Lima city limits and into the rolling cornfields that surrounded the small town. When he finally made a lurching turn that was taken way too fast onto a dirt road that led out to a standing grove of trees she realized where they were going.

Lake Bean really couldn't be considered a lake, but that was its name. It was a favorite party spot for the upper echelon of McKinley High students because it was secluded and the cops never came this far out. For that matter, neither had Rachel. There were no nearby houses so you could be as loud as you wanted and the amount of trees that had been planted around the small body of water lent itself well to sneaking around. There was a small pier that went out into the water and at the height of a summer afternoon the glint of cars parked there could be seen for miles. Currently the parking lot was completely empty and Rachel found herself once again feeling grateful for something.

His chest heaved with labored breath as he sat quietly in the truck and simply stared out the windshield at the secluded lake. "I signed them," he finally whispered. Rachel wasn't sure she had heard him correctly and she was about to ask him to repeat himself when Puck suddenly released an almost primal scream of anguish and began beating his palms repeatedly against the steering wheel in front of him. Her eyes widened in surprise and fear as she jumped back a little toward the door.

"I fucking signed the fucking adoption papers!" he yelled. "I just gave my daughter away and she's not even born yet. And it was the right thing to do. I know it was the right thing to do for her, but it still fucking hurts. I feel like my heart is being squeezed so tight it's just going to burst." He turned and looked at Rachel with eyes that suddenly weren't angry anymore, but that held a deep sadness that made her breath catch in her throat and her heart ache for this poor boy who was far too young to have to deal with all this pain. "I don't understand how I can love someone so deeply that I've never even met," he rasped painfully as tears finally escaped his eyes.

With shaking hands Rachel unclasped the seat belt and slid across the short distance to him. Wrapping her small arms around his much larger frame she pulled him to her and he let her. In his moment of anguish he didn't care that he was crying like a little girl or that he was letting the small brunette next to him hold him and comfort him like a small child. He didn't care because it hurt too much to care and also because for some reason he felt completely comfortable with Rachel and he knew he didn't have to put on a show with her.

He didn't let the tears fall for long. After all, he was a stud and just because he was currently experiencing the most emotionally painful moment he thought he'd ever have didn't mean he'd suddenly grown a vagina. But he continued to hold Rachel close to him, enjoying the feel of her soft body in his arms and the hint of vanilla he could smell in her hair. He whispered hoarsely, "I would have been a good dad. She never even gave me a chance to try, but I would have been a good dad."

Rachel pulled back so that she could look into his eyes. She held his face gently in her hands, brushing away the remaining dampness with her thumbs as she whispered back, "You are a good dad, Noah. You're giving her the best life possible under the circumstances. And one day when you're older and are at a point in your life where you're more able to care for a child the way they deserve you will be an excellent father." Slowly she leaned forward and gently placed a soft kiss on his lips.

She hadn't meant to kiss him, but in the intimacy of the moment and the proximity of their bodies it had felt like the most natural thing to do. When she slowly pulled back she opened her eyes to see that his were still closed. Slowly his lids opened to reveal dark hazel eyes so full of desire it made her breath catch in her throat. He let out a low growl that set her body tingling as he claimed her lips with his own.

His hands fisted her hair, pulling her closer to him as his teeth grazed over her bottom lip, tugging it into his mouth. She responded by flicking her tongue against his lips which he immediately opened to her. A soft whimper escaped her throat as electricity shot through her entire body at the taste and feel of him. His hands moved down her body, pulling her closer to him even though there was no way for her to get closer unless she crawled on top of him.

Before she'd even thought it completely through Rachel pushed against Puck's chest. For an instant he thought she was pushing him away and he rested against the seat trying to get his bearings. With a wicked smirk and a surprised cock of his eyebrow he wrapped his hands around her hips as she moved her body between him and the steering wheel, her legs now spread apart as she straddled him. He could see uncertainty flash in her brown eyes now darkened with desire and he squeezed her hips reassuringly toward him as he leaned forward and placed another kiss on her mouth, followed by another and another. He trailed his hands slowly down her thighs until he felt the warmth of her skin under his hands and then slowly making circles he began to work his way back up her body, staying underneath her skirt.

Rachel didn't want to think about Finn. She wanted to think about how warm Puck's hands were as they traveled slowly up her thighs. She wanted to think about how soft his lips were and how they were currently traveling down her neck and nibbling at her collarbone only to come quickly back up and claim her lips once again. She didn't want to think about Finn, but she couldn't help herself because she had _never_ felt this way with Finn. With him, even in the moments when she considered that she might want to go further with him, she had always been in control. It had felt good to kiss Finn and making out with him had been pleasurable, but _this, _oh God, this was different. Being with Puck was like being on a roller coaster. Terrifyingly thrilling and completely out of control.

When he slowly kissed his way up her neck only to gently grab her earlobe between his teeth and whisper huskily, "I want to touch you," her hips ground against him of their own accord. She felt his soft chuckle against her neck as his hand moved closer to its destination. Rachel felt for the hem of his shirt and quickly tugged it up. Puck pulled back just long enough to get the shirt over his arms before he was back on her. He nearly ached just to touch her, but Rachel had other things in mind.

Her small, beautiful hands pressed against his bare skin as she trailed them down his chest letting her fingernails leave slight scratches. They were followed quickly by her lips as she left soft kisses along his neck, his collarbone and then down to his chest where she drew small circles with her tongue and then gently tugged his nipple with her teeth. "Rachel," he growled low in his chest as he ground the erection being held in his jeans against her. His hand moved between them and under her skirt and he was happily shocked at how wet she was through the thin fabric of her panties.

As he pressed against the bundle of nerves Rachel let out a gasp and pushed herself up from his chest as she ground herself against him. She would be eternally grateful that the timing of that movement was perfect. "Noah, someone's coming," she said frantically as she tried to pull herself together, which was difficult with his hand still causing sensations to course through her body that made it difficult for her to move. "Already?" He leaned in to kiss her lips as he whispered, "I am a stud."

"No!" she said as she tried to extricate herself from her current position. "Someone is driving here." Finally he heard the distinct sound of tires crunching over loose gravel as a car pulled up next to them. Puck glowered at the car full of young adults as they pulled bags and coolers from the trunk and made their way down to the lake. An awkward silence fell over the truck. Puck looked over at Rachel who was now sitting in her own seat and staring at her hands as if they were the most fascinating things she'd ever seen.

Puck cleared his throat to say something when Rachel beat him to it. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Anger instantly flashed through his body at her words. He thought she was once again apologizing because she still wasn't over Finn and so she shouldn't have kissed him. What kind of hold did Finn have on girls that they just couldn't get over him? When she continued to speak, though, the anger he felt disappeared at her words as he realized she hadn't apologized for what he thought she had.

"I shouldn't have kissed you Noah. You're hurting and what you need is a friend to talk to. I was honestly just trying to comfort you with the kiss. I didn't mean for things to progress the way they did."

Puck's hand reached across the cab of the truck and took her hand in his own. She finally looked at him and she couldn't help the smile that spread across her face when she realized that he was smiling at her, not just with his mouth, but with his eyes. "Babe," he said, "I'm a dude and dude's don't talk to feel better. What we just did made me feel a hundred times better than any gabfest. Trust me."

She laughed softly at the twinkle in his eyes as he leaned forward and gently kissed her lips. _This is going to be the best summer_, she thought as she gazed dreamily out the window as Puck drove them back into town, this time at a leisurely pace.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I don't know what's wrong, but it won't center the chapter and that drives me nuts because it's centered in the file I uploaded. Oh well. Thanks for all of your reviews. I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story so much. It's my hope that it only gets better because I do have some plans, hehehe (rubs hands together maniacally). Anyway, hope you like this update, let me know what you think. Thank you all!**

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

"Hey, Babe, can I borrow these while you're away?"

Rachel turned away from her closet to see what Puck was asking to borrow and turned instantly red with embarrassment and horror at what she saw. He was standing beside her bed next to her open suitcase with a sexy smirk playing across his face as he gazed at the tiny pair of white lace panties he held in his fingers.

"No you may not!" she gasped as she hurried across the short distance to retrieve her undergarments from his lecherous hands. As she reached for them Puck pulled his hand out of her reach and grabbed her around the waist with his free arm. She continued to struggle against him as she tried to grab the small scrap of linen he kept moving just out of her grasp. "Come on Rach, you're going to be gone for a long time and I need something to get me through the separation," he reasoned with her.

"I'm only going to be gone for seven days. I'm reasonably certain you can last one week without the aid of my panties," she huffed. She pulled away from him as she came to the conclusion that brute force would not work. She would have to use strategy. With a twinkle in her eye and a determined set to her mouth she said, "Fine, Jacob. You can keep them." When she saw the look in his eyes she realized she had made a horrible miscalculation.

"Jacob!" Puck cried out in disgust. "You compare me to Jacob Ben-Israel. That little perverted, whining, Jew-Fro isn't even in the same hemisphere as me. Take it back," he ordered as he pointed forcefully at her with the hand still clutching the white linen.

For Rachel it was more like a red flag being waved in her face than a white one. "No. If you insist on taking my panties then you can take the moniker that goes along with such wretched actions."

"Take it back," he growled as he took a step towards her.

"Noah," Rachel said warningly, "don't!" But it was too late. With one swift movement he lifted her up and then flung her onto the bed. Before she could get her bearings he was straddling her, trapping her arms and body in one motion underneath his strong legs as he began tickling her sides mercilessly. "Noah, stop!" she half laughed, half cried. "This isn't fair! You're not ticklish!"

He flashed her a wicked smile and leaned in closer as he continued to tickle her, "You know how to make it stop."

When he leaned down Rachel did something he was not expecting. She leaned up and took his bottom lip between her teeth, pulling him into a deep open mouth kiss as she swept her tongue against his. He instantly responded by moving his body off of her pinned arms and covering her with his own weight as he deepened the kiss. Her hands skimmed over his shoulders, down his biceps, and then suddenly she had ripped the garment from his hand.

Puck raised himself up in shock at the realization that he'd been played. "That's not fair!" he cried out, but he couldn't help laughing at the victorious grin now spread across Rachel's face. Slowly he slid his body to the side so that he was now half resting on Rachel and half on the bed, his one leg still keeping her thighs separated and pressed up against her heat. She was still breathing hard from his tickle torture, her hair was messy and falling in her face, and her cheeks were flushed a bright pink. _Beautiful_, Puck thought as he reached out and gently brushed a strand of dark brown hair from her face.

Leaning down to her he placed a soft kiss on first one cheek and then the other. "Take it back," he whispered as he barely brushed his lips against hers. When she remained silent he nuzzled her neck, breathing in the scent of her hair as it tickled his nose, then moved up and gently nibbled at her earlobe. He could feel her body responding to him, the slight tremors at his touch, the way she pressed herself against the bulk of his thigh, but still she remained silent.

Looking deep into her laughing brown eyes he gave her a slow sexy smile before he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. His hand made its way up from her waist as he cupped her breast in his hand. When he pulled gently on her nipple and she gasped he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth and in the same movement he ground his upper thigh into her center. When he felt her moving herself against him and a moan escaped from the back of her throat he pulled away just enough to break contact. "Take it back," he said huskily.

Rachel looked up at him with darkened, hooded eyes. "I take it back," she breathed. "You are nothing like Jacob Ben-Israel and I thank God every day for that." With a kittenish smile she pulled him back down to her. She had decided that kissing Noah Puckerman was one of the best things _ever_ and if she was going to be addicted to something at least it was something awesome and not harmful to her career.

"Pumpkin are you ready?" came a loud voice from downstairs.

Reluctantly she pulled away from Puck's lips and he rested his head against her chest as he tried to catch his breath. "Almost Daddy," she called back, but she didn't make a move. She stayed there lying on her bed with Puck's weight against her, his head resting on her slowly rising chest as she gently ran her hand along the scruffy shaved side of his head. "It's only seven days," she said aloud, but she wasn't sure whom she was reassuring, herself or Puck.

Puck sighed as he forced himself to leave the warmth of Rachel's body and rose from the bed. Rachel slowly followed suit. "So you got everything?" he asked quietly as he rubbed his hands against his jeans nervously. _Shit, why am I acting like such a girl? She's coming back, dude!_

"Yes," she replied as she closed and zipped the suitcase shut after tossing in a couple last minute items. She turned slowly and looked at him just a couple feet away from her. She wanted to keep this picture of him in her mind while she was gone. Dark blue jeans hanging low on his hips, brown leather belt, white t-shirt that was loose around his abs but strained to cover his biceps. Breathing in deeply she gave him a lopsided smile as he crossed the distance and wrapped her up in his arms. "You're going to have a blast, babe. New York City for seven days with your dads. It's the perfect Berry vacation."

"Promise me you'll be good," she said softly against his shoulder.

Puck pulled back and looked reassuringly into her eyes. "Rachel, I'm not Finn. I'm saying this right now. You're my girlfriend, I'm your boyfriend. I'm not going to cheat on you."

She smiled at him. "Thank you for that Noah, but it's not what I meant. Just don't get into any trouble while I'm gone. I don't want to come home to find out you're in jail or have a court date or your face is disfigured from some stupid fight."

"Babe I'm going to be too busy texting you all the dirty stuff I want to do to you when you get back to get into any kind of trouble," he said with a wink. He quickly followed that remark by grabbing her suitcase off the bed and making a big deal about how it was only seven days and she packed like she was never coming back to Ohio.

Rachel stayed behind in her room to make one last search to be certain that she had packed everything she would need. She had been ecstatic when her fathers had told her that their family vacation that year would be a Broadway visit of New York. They had tourist attractions to see during the day and a different Broadway show every night. Then _things_ had happened with Puck and now all she really wanted to do was stay in Lima, Ohio with her boyfriend. A mega-watt smile spread across her face. _My boyfriend._

Puck's voice behind her startled her out of her thoughts. "Hey Berry, your dads are already in the car waiting for you. I think they might be more excited about this trip than you are," he said with a chuckle.

"You'll text me at least once a day?" she asked as she gave him one last hug.

"Every day," he reassured her as he ran his hands over her back.

When they pulled apart she grasped his hands, leaned up and gave him a long, deep kiss, and then with a twinkle in her brown eyes and a smile on her face said, "I'll see you in seven days, Stud," and left the room. Puck stood in the middle of her room as if he'd been struck in the head. Slowly a smile spread across his face as he looked down at his hand. Resting in his long calloused fingers was a small, white, lace garment that had been slipped into his hand by his girlfriend as she'd kissed him. _Shit, _he thought, _seven fucking days._

* * *

The first four days in New York City flew by for Rachel. Her dads had planned probably one of the best vacations they possibly could for their daughter. Every night was a different show and every day was filled with sightseeing, shopping, and eating at fabulous new places. As much as she enjoyed it she still missed Puck and was often texting him with updates of her trip and sending pictures of herself in front of different landmarks. In fact, as soon as the plane had landed she had sent him a quick text. She'd been unable to get him out of her mind the entire ride to the Cincinnati airport and the short flight to New York.

**Berry: Touchdown NYC! Wish u were here!**

**Noah: Me 2. Just so I could show u how much I liked ur going away gift. ;)**

She had blushed at his response. She had never intended to leave them for him, but he had looked so handsome and it had felt so good to be in his arms she couldn't deny him what he had asked for. Her fathers had wisely booked a suite so that they could have the privacy of separate rooms so in the evening when she crawled into bed, exhausted and completely happy, she called him to say goodnight. She explained in detail the show she had seen that night and as boring as it was Puck got a kick out of how excited she was about it. She could quote lines and describe the scenery in a way that made him feel as if he'd been there with her. And a couple nights she'd softly sing a little bit of a tune to him and even though they were hundreds of miles apart it felt like she was right there with him because let's face it, there was nothing more natural than Rachel Berry singing.

The morning of their fifth day in New York City the Berry family woke up to a beautiful, warm, sunny day and immediately decided that this morning needed to be devoted to Central Park. They had already been to all of the museums that were on their "Must See" List so they dressed for a walking day outside, grabbed some bagels with cream cheese and coffees at a bakery around the corner from their hotel, and hopped on a train heading north. Before their coffees could even cool enough to be drinkable they were climbing the concrete stairs and joining the throngs of people that seemed to be in constant motion in the city streets.

They walked and talked and slowly ate their breakfast as they made their way down the meandering paths with no particular destination in mind. When they stumbled upon Belvedere Castle Rachel insisted on climbing to the very top. When she stood in the top turret, looking out over the greenery of Central Park she let herself imagine, just for a moment, that she was actually starring as Juliet on Broadway and she quickly mumbled the balcony scene to herself before climbing back down to join her fathers. She had them take a picture of her standing up against the balustrade with the New York skyline in the background and immediately sent it to Puck.

There was no rush because they had no real plans and so they continued to make their way through the park, simply enjoying the little surprises that would come around each corner. They found the statue of Balto commemorating the true story of how the Iditarod Dog Sled Race began and her fathers completely mortified her by insisting on climbing up and actually having her take their picture with the dog. They found the carousel and Rachel refused to share with them in the traditional hot dog from a vendor snack which she found utterly disgusting. It was early afternoon and hours since she had sent Puck the first picture of the day when they stumbled upon the statues of Alice in Wonderland. Once again she had her father snap a picture of her sitting next to the mushroom and sent it to Puck.

It was while they were having a late lunch at a little Indian restaurant they had found on 96th Street that she realized Puck hadn't responded to either of her pictures. The last few days when she had sent him a picture he had responded with a text, usually completely inappropriate and something she would never show her fathers. But there was always a response. She decided to send him a quick text.

**Berry: Noah did u get my pics? How r u? Miss you!**

All the rest of the day she was preoccupied and continually checked her phone to see if by some chance she had missed the sound of an incoming call or text. And all day there was no response. She tried not to worry. She told herself that his phone had probably died or he had it turned off. That night after she crawled into bed she called him for their customary goodnight, but the call went straight to voice mail. Rachel did not have a restful sleep that night.

On the sixth day her fathers tried to distract her, but it proved to be nearly impossible. She was constantly checking her phone and became more agitated with each negative response from it. No calls. No texts. Nothing. She left urgent messages and sent texts begging him to please just let her know he was alive and still there was nothing. On the seventh day of their trip as they packed and then boarded the plane that would take them back to Ohio her fathers were grateful to be able to finally get their daughter back home. Rachel was a complete mess. She couldn't focus on anything or think about anything except all the possible reasons for Puck's silence.

Maybe he was in jail. Maybe he's in the hospital or he got really sick. Maybe he just broke his phone and is waiting for the replacement. Maybe he found someone else and this is his way of dumping her. Maybe, maybe, maybe. They were going to drive her insane. After the almost two hour drive from Cincinnati Rachel had worried herself sick. As her father drove the car into the driveway of their home around 5 o'clock that evening her heart leapt at the sight of a boyish figure sitting on their front porch. And then instantly dropped into the pit of her stomach as the boy stood to his full 6'3" frame and slid his hands nervously into the pockets of his jeans.

As Rachel walked up to Finn she could tell that something was wrong. His shoulders were slumped and there were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. He couldn't look her in the eye and she felt a vise suddenly clamp down on her heart. "Where's Puck?" she finally choked out and Finn finally looked at her.

Taking a deep breath he said, "Two days ago at around 2 in the morning Quinn had the baby." Rachel gasped and closed her eyes. Quinn wasn't due for another two weeks. Rachel berated herself for not being here for Puck, but she remained silent as she waited for Finn to continue. "Puck was there, at the hospital. Quinn and the baby are both fine and healthy. Quinn's back at home," he paused and corrected himself, "my home."

Rachel waited, but Finn seemed as if he was finished and so she once again stated the question to the only answer she truly wanted. "Where's Puck?"

"I guess he didn't tell his mom what was going on or that he and I weren't really friends anymore because she called me today looking for him. I guess she thought he was at my house or something. I heard from Kurt that you were coming back from vacation today and I thought maybe he would have called you since you two are friends now, but apparently he didn't." Finn took another deep breath and swallowed hard before looking deep into Rachel's worried eyes and finally telling her, "Rachel, no one's seen or heard from Puck since yesterday afternoon."


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: I don't know whether it's all of your awesome reviews or if the writing beast has reared it's head, but I whipped this chapter out faster than any I've ever done. It was one of those moments where once I started typing everything just flowed, so I hope it reads that way and isn't just a garbled mess. In a strange stroke of life imitating art (or vice versa) my sister-in-law who is due to deliver my Tenth! (not all from the same parents, obviously) nephew in two weeks is currently at the hospital with contractions. If he's born at 2:00 am tomorrow morning I may have to rethink the power of the pen. :) JK**

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

Rachel's fathers had done everything they could. They had called Puck's mother for Rachel and received basically the same information Finn had given them. Mrs. Puckerman had thought that her son was staying the night at Finn's. Until this morning she was completely unaware that her son had gotten a girl pregnant and then given the baby up for adoption. She was understandably dealing with a lot of information and Rachel's fathers had offered their support and also assured her that if they or Rachel heard from him she would be the first to know.

They had tried to offer their assistance to their daughter, but she had refused it, insisting that she would prefer to be left alone. So as they unpacked suitcases, did laundry, looked through the mail that had been stacked up for a week, watered dieing plants, and generally settled back into their home after their extended vacation they also listened to the steady footsteps of their only child pacing across her floor above them.

Rachel had immediately sent Puck a text even though she knew it would remain unanswered just as the many she had already sent him had.

**Berry: I know about Quinn. I'm worried. Please answer Noah.**

She tossed the phone on her bed in frustration and continued to pace her room as she unconsciously played with the silver bracelet that hung from her wrist. _Of what use is a cell phone if you don't answer the stupid thing _she raged inside. She was upset with him for not answering and she was upset with herself for not being here for him. She needed something to distract her from this incessant worrying and the heaviness she felt growing in the pit of her stomach with every passing moment that she didn't know where Puck was.

With a heavy sigh she grabbed her suitcase and lifted it on the bed. She sorted her clothes into laundry piles as she unpacked, even as her mind wandered back to just a week ago when they had kissed in this very room. She felt tears begin to form in the corners of her eyes as she remembered the weight of his body against hers and how his hands had felt as they caressed her. She could still taste his tongue in her mouth and she threw her clothes down in despair. "Where are you Noah?" she cried quietly as she looked longingly once again at her silent phone.

After a while she was able to pull herself together once again and she continued her task. When she was finished and had taken her clothes down to the laundry room to join the piles already created by her dads she went immediately back up to her room. Zipping the suitcase closed she went to store it back in her closet and as she did so she saw her small memories box. She had received the box as a gift from her Nana who had told her that she had a memory box when she was growing up and over the years it had become many boxes. She had shared some of them with Rachel and so now every important moment of her life was somehow commemorated within the confines of that box.

She quickly pulled it from the shelf and sitting down on her bed she removed the bright pink lid with the large gold star that had _Rachel Berry_ emblazoned across it. The first thing she saw was what she was looking for and the most recent entry. The gold wrapping paper from the gift she currently wore. She fingered it as a soft smile played across her face. She had been dating Finn when he gave her that. She let out a derisive laugh. She'd never really dated Finn. He was physically attracted to her and he had used her. Rachel had decided it was better to believe that than the idea that he had really cared about her and had still hurt her the way he did.

Just underneath the paper was a small white box. She picked it up and carefully removed the lid, as if what was inside was extremely fragile. Shining up from a bed of white cotton was the tiny gold baby anklet that she had purchased that day at the mall. She had planned to give it to Puck at the hospital when his daughter was born. That wouldn't happen now and she wondered if there would ever be an appropriate moment to present him with the gift or if it would just sit in her memory box forever as a reminder of these horrible days and how she had failed Puck when he had truly needed her.

There was a soft knock at the door and Rachel quickly returned the items and replaced the lid as her dad peeked his head slowly through the door. "Rachel, honey, Daddy and I are going to bed now. It's been a really long week and an especially difficult day. Have you heard from Noah?" He frowned when she sadly shook her head. He hated seeing her so upset and it had become very obvious over the last couple days that what she felt for the young Mohawked boy was more than friendship. "Well, sweetie, tomorrow's a new day. You should get some rest now and maybe we can brainstorm in the morning and think of some search avenues we haven't tried. I'm sure Noah will turn up."

He fully entered the room and gave Rachel a reassuring hug and gently kissed her forehead. "You've had a very busy week and this isn't the way I wanted it to end. I know you probably don't feel like it, but you need to get some sleep. Daddy and I are going to take half a sleeping pill, but if you need us for anything you come wake us. Okay?"

She couldn't find the words to speak so she just nodded her ascent, kissed her father goodnight and watched him leave as he closed her door behind him. She knew her fathers must be really exhausted if they were using sleeping aids. They only did that when they truly needed a full nights rest because both of them were very light sleepers and were often waking up throughout the night. She felt guilty for the way their vacation had ended. They had worked so hard to plan the perfect New York week for her and the last two days of it had been ruined by her distraction over Puck. She would need to think of a way to show her gratitude for their love and thoughtfulness.

Glancing at the clock she slipped the memory box under her bed and flung herself down on the pillows. It was now 9:30 and she still had no idea where Puck was. He had now been missing for 32 hours. Picking up her phone again she called him. Once again it went straight to voice mail. She didn't mean to cry, but when she heard his voice telling her to "do your thing" she couldn't help herself. "Noah, please call me," she sniffled as she tried to hold back the terrified tears that streamed down her face. "If you're angry with me I understand. If you don't want to see me I understand that too, but please just call me. Just let me know you're alive. I'm so scared."

She closed the phone and placed it on her nightstand. As a sob finally broke from her body she buried her head in the pillows to try to stifle the sound. Clutching another pillow close to her body she finally cried herself to sleep. Thirty minutes later a loud sound abruptly woke her from her stress induced nap and she immediately reached for her phone. With a muffled cry she read the text she'd received.

**Noah: Open ur window.**

She dropped her phone to the ground as she flew across her room and wrenched her window open in time to see two hands grabbing the edge of the slightly slanting roof and in the next instant Puck's body was vaulting over the shingles. She backed up as he crawled through her window, closed it behind him and then turned to stand before her.

Her lips trembled and tears flowed freely down her face as she took in his disheveled appearance. Standing before her was not the boy she had left just one week ago. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, she wasn't sure if it was from crying or alcohol. It could have been either because he reeked of stale beer and cigarettes. He obviously hadn't shaved in days because a rough stubble covered his cheeks and chin. His clothes were rumpled and stained. And he was the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen.

"Noah," she breathed as she threw herself into his arms and buried her head in his chest. He immediately encircled her, pulling her tightly to him and buried his head in her hair. She could feel his body shaking and she whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Puck pulled back and she could see the tears in his eyes as he said, "No, I'm sorry Rachel. I just got all the messages and texts. I swear I didn't mean to make you worry. I turned my phone off at the hospital and everything just went so crazy for me from there that I just didn't even think about turning it back on. I don't even think I realized it was off. It didn't occur to me that I was missing all of your calls."

"But you're alive," she said happily as she reached up and touched his face to reassure herself that he really was standing there in her room. He turned his head into her touch and gently placed a kiss against her palm.

"I'm a mess, but yeah, I'm alive," he responded ruefully. Rubbing his hands quickly through his hair he sighed as he walked over to her bed and sat down. Rachel stayed where she was and simply watched him wrestle with his own thoughts. "I guess you're wondering what happened and where I've been."

She bit her bottom lip and then quietly said, "I am wondering, but Noah, if you aren't ready to talk to me about it that's okay."

He gazed at her with sad eyes and she thought her heart would break because no one should ever feel that sad. "She was beautiful," he whispered with emotion. "She is beautiful. Seven pounds, eleven ounces, eighteen inches long," he recited. "You wouldn't believe how much hair she has. Just a ton of dark hair that stuck up and I thought, yeah, she's my kid, already rocking the 'hawk. And then he held her and I remembered she's not my kid."

He cleared his throat as he tried to contain the emotions coursing through his body. "I stood there for hours. Outside the nursery. Just watching her. For hours, Rachel, I didn't move. I stayed as long as I could that night, but my mom expected me home and I hadn't told her anything about Quinn or the baby, so I couldn't tell her where I was and I was in too much shock to come up with a good lie. So I went home and I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I just kept thinking of that tiny little girl lying in the hospital nursery all alone. So as soon as I could leave without raising suspicions I went back to the hospital."

"I watched them feed her a bottle and rock her to sleep. I watched my daughter through the glass and I never held her, never touched her. I realized I needed to talk to you, but I'd left my phone in the truck. So I went out to the parking lot and I was sitting there in my truck about to turn my phone on and call you. I just needed to hear your voice. I needed you to tell me I did the right thing. Then I saw him pull up to the entrance and she walked out carrying a car seat and I realized they were taking her away already. They were taking my daughter and I never even got to tell her goodbye." He choked on his last words as tears began to stream down his face. Rachel crossed the short distance to him and he pulled her close to him as she ran her hands over his back and up and across his head that he had buried in her chest as he sobbed.

He quieted as she placed soft kisses along the fringe of his Mohawk. Taking a deep breath he pulled back and looked up into the brown eyes that seemed to always give him comfort and make him feel like everything was going to be alright. "Rach," he whispered, "I followed them home. I followed them to Cincinnati."

He wasn't sure what he expected. Maybe for her to berate him for his stupidity. He could be arrested for stalking or something. What he didn't expect was the brush of her lips across his own lips as she said, "I should have been here for you Noah. I'm so sorry."

He gave her a quizzical look. "Don't be sorry. There was no way for you to know that Quinn would have the baby two weeks early. We should have had plenty of time." They were quiet as she stood between his legs and he sat on her bed with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist as if he were afraid he might lose his grip on reality again if he let go of her. Somehow she had become his lifeline and he knew she was the only thing currently keeping him from doing something crazy.

"What did you do in Cincinnati?" she finally asked.

"I sat outside their house," he replied quietly. "It's really nice. They had friends and relatives showing up all day. Most of them had kids with them and I thought it's really cool that she's going to have this huge, loving family. I just couldn't leave. Through the night I saw lights come on every few hours and I knew they were feeding her, or changing her diaper, or singing her to sleep and I'd sing her a little song." He paused, ashamed of himself for his next statement, but still needing to tell her everything. "Then I left their house and I got wasted."

"Some time this afternoon I sobered up and realized I was just torturing myself. I gave her up and I know it was the right decision for her, no matter how difficult it is for me. I gave her a better life and the knowledge of that is what I get to keep. Then I remembered that it had all started with needing you and I turned my phone back on." He raised his eyes to her and they were heavy with guilt. "When I read all your texts and listened to your messages I got back here as fast as I could."

"I'm just glad you're here now," she said softly as she ran her fingers across his chest. She had to continually reassure herself that he really was there and so she couldn't bring herself to stop touching him. "From what you told me about the last couple days I take it you haven't eaten recently." He shook his head no and she could see the exhaustion suddenly overtake him.

"I'm going to run downstairs and get you something to eat really quick. While I'm doing that, why don't you take a quick shower."

He flashed her a smile that for a moment looked like her Puck, "Is it that bad?"

She wrinkled her nose and gave him a wink. "Let's just say you're not crawling into my bed smelling like that." At the cock of his eyebrow she softened her voice. "I've missed you and I want you to stay the night."

"What about your dads?" he asked.

"They are sleeping the sleep of those aided by pharmaceuticals and what they don't know won't hurt them. It'll be just like when they were gone on their trip and you stayed." Neither of them mentioned the fact that it wasn't anything like then, because then they weren't dating. Then they were just friends and now they were much, much more.

Her fathers had ordered pizza so she quickly warmed a couple pieces in the microwave, grabbed some clean shorts from one of her daddy's folded piles that she thought might fit Puck and headed back upstairs. She could hear the shower running so she cracked the door just a little and slipped the shorts inside. "Noah," she loudly whispered just enough to be heard over the falling water, "here's a clean pair of shorts that might fit and there are some disposable razors in the bottom drawer you can use."

While he was in the bathroom Rachel quickly changed into her night clothes. She should have known right then that this sleepover wasn't even close to their previous sleepovers because she agonized over what to wear. Eventually, she decided on a white tank and a pair of blue plaid boy shorts. When she heard the water stop running she began removing the plethora of pillows from her bed and pulled back the sheets. Rachel literally gulped when Puck walked through the bathroom door. He was clean shaven once again and his skin was still slightly damp from the steam of the shower. Her daddy's shorts were slightly too big and they hung loosely on his hips. _I should have found him a shirt_ she berated herself as she was unable to tear her eyes away from the ripped muscles that adorned his perfect physique.

Puck tried to ignore the way the white tank top Rachel was wearing hugged her breasts or how the boy shorts hung just perfectly on her hips to show the small ribbon of skin where the shirt left off and the shorts began. He wolfed down the pizza, quickly rinsed his mouth with some Scope and then slowly crawled into bed next to her. "You're going to have to tell me about your trip tomorrow," he said quietly as he brushed a stray strand of brown hair from her shoulder.

"It's not important," she replied.

"Hey," he reprimanded her, "yes it is. I want to hear about all the stuff you did there and how much fun you had until I ruined it with my little disappearing act."

"No matter what happens, Noah, promise me you won't do that to me again," she pleaded with him.

"I promise," he whispered as he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. They held each other until the rhythm of their breathing slowly fell into sync and they drifted off to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: I am extremely nervous about this chapter because I have _never_ written a sex scene in my entire life. So, yeah, I gave away what this chapter is, but I'm pretty sure most of you knew this was coming. I thought I hinted at it in the ending of the last chapter. I want to take a moment to thank everyone for reviewing and reading this story. I've completed one other story in my time of writing fanfiction. It was 18 chapters and didn't even reach the 100 reviews mark, so to be only at Chapter 16 and already have 200 is pretty flipping amazing. I appreciate all of you, you keep me inspired. Only 19 days until "Hello"! I'm subsisting on the DVD's and the awesome commercials they show during "American Idol". Anyway, thanks and here goes nothing. :)**

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

In the predawn stillness when the darkness was still clinging desperately to its temporary kingdom, but the approaching light was winning the battle and giving shape to everything in shadow, Rachel awoke. She didn't jump up and out of bed as she usually did when her alarm would awaken her. She could feel the weight of Puck's arm across her hips and the warmth and firmness of his body breathing methodically beside her. Never in her life had she felt so at peace. And at the same time so scared. She had thought that she loved Finn, but now she wasn't sure.

She couldn't even describe how she felt when she was with Puck. It was like her whole body would bubble with happiness and spark with electricity all at the same time. There was one thing she knew for a certainty. She would be more careful with her heart this time. With Finn she had been completely open and giving. She had told him she loved him and he had pulled the rug out from underneath her. From now on, no matter what relationship she was in, she would wait until she was absolutely certain of the other person's feelings and certain of her own before she made any declaration.

Puck had been awake for a while but he didn't want to wake Rachel up so he laid there quietly, not moving, just watching her sleep. He was in unfamiliar territory. He'd had sex with plenty of girls, but he'd never actually slept with them. Usually, once the deed was done and both parties had been satisfied he would make his departure. The act of simply lying beside her, holding her close, and watching her breath steadily in and out felt somehow more intimate than all the sexual encounters he'd had before and it stirred something inside him.

He knew Rachel had been hurt by Finn's actions. Not just by the cheating, but by the way he had seemed to be embarrassed by her. Puck decided right then that he would do everything he could to make sure that the beautiful brown eyed girl beside him never felt that way again. More than anything he wanted her to feel the way he felt when he was with her. He'd been watching her sleep for so long that he could feel the difference in her body and the shift in her breathing as she woke up, even though she didn't open her eyes right away.

When Rachel finally slowly opened her eyes she found herself staring directly into Puck's. Inside she gasped at the intensity of his stare, but outwardly she remained still. Neither of them said a single word as they lay there gazing into each others eyes as they tried to discern what the other was feeling. It felt as if the small amount of space between them was charged with electricity and expectation, like the heavy feeling in the air just before a thunderstorm strikes. Deep inside she knew what was about to happen; what she wanted to happen and she wondered if afterward she would feel new, like the air did after the storm passed.

Slowly she moved forward and gently brushed her lips against Puck's. It wasn't really a kiss. There was no pressure applied and if he hadn't had his eyes open and seen her move in it would have felt just like a whisper against his mouth. Instinctively he knew she needed to set the pace, to have the control and he was okay with that, for now. Once again her lips brushed against his, her mouth slightly open, as if she were testing out the waters before diving in head first. At her next pass Puck deftly slipped his tongue across her bottom lip and this time she didn't release him. With a soft whimper she opened herself completely to him, their tongues massaging each other as their arms groped and pulled at each other in an effort to somehow get closer.

When she had imagined what her first time would be like it had never been with Puck. Occasionally it had been Finn, but usually she had imagined it would happen in college. She was all too aware of her high school status and had assumed she would have to wait until she was a star in the drama program of her chosen university before she would experience the moment when two people expressed their desire for each other in such an intimate way. As he slowly dragged his tongue down her neck and began placing wet kisses along her collar bone she thanked God that she'd been wrong.

Rachel felt him grow hard against her thigh and while she had always thought she would be embarrassed at this moment, she actually felt a sense of power she'd never imagined roll through her body as she pressed herself against him and rotated her hips. The groan this movement elicited from him made her smile. She let him roll her onto her back as his hands found the hem of her tank top. Reaching toward him she pulled his face once again to hers. He'd been gone too long and she needed to taste him, needed to feel his lips on hers, his ragged breath coming in fast gasps as he claimed her mouth with his own over and over again.

His hands moved in slow circles across her stomach and up her sides. He was careful to apply just the right amount of pressure because he knew how ticklish she was and he didn't want to ruin this moment. As his hands moved up so did the small piece of fabric, exposing flesh as it went so that she could feel the warm skin of his body against her. It felt different from his hands, softer but still just as warm and she wanted to feel more. He slowly dragged his fingers across her breast and pulled gently at her already rigid nipple causing her to arch herself into him.

"Noah," she breathed against his lips. He pulled back to gaze into her eyes, this time knowing that there would be no tears there. A slight smirk crossed his face as she lifted her arms upward and he quickly slipped her top up and completely off of her. Tossing it to the side he gazed down at her lying beneath him. The room was lightening as dawn approached ever faster, but the light was still soft and her skin looked as though it were bathed in candle light. He saw a soft blush rise across her cheeks from his stare and when she moved her hand to cover herself he grasped it, entwining his fingers with hers and pushing it back into the mattress below them.

"You're so beautiful, Rachel," he gasped huskily before he took her firm breast in his mouth, grazing his teeth gently over her flesh. He felt her hand squeeze his and her body grind against him. As his lips, teeth, and tongue worked one peak his hand massaged the other until Rachel was nearly in a frenzy, her head pushed back into the pillow, her breath coming in ragged gasps, as she ground her hips against him in an almost uncontrollable need to release something she had never known was trapped.

She pulled her hand free from his and reaching down to him she pulled his face back up to her if only to maintain her sanity. "Noah," she breathed into his mouth as she kissed him, gently tugging his lower lip with her teeth, "I need you."

"How do you need me Rachel?" he growled as he traced the shell of her ear with his tongue.

He let out a soft hiss as her hand deliberately rubbed against his erection being restrained only by a pair of shorts. "I need you inside me," she said huskily as she slipped her hand inside and felt him for the first time. Puck couldn't stop himself from thrusting his hips forward as she trailed her fingertips down his length. He'd nearly lost it with her words alone, but her warm hand caressing him almost pushed him over the edge and even though he really didn't want to he pulled her hand away.

He chuckled softly and kissed her pouting lips. "Babe, this wasn't going to last very long if you kept that up," he whispered against her neck. His hands were at the edge of her shorts when a thought suddenly flashed through his mind and he groaned as he laid his head against her shoulder. When Rachel realized that he had stopped moving and instead seemed to be trying to catch his breath and gain control a frown crossed her face.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

Puck shook his head against her and lifted his gaze to look in her eyes. "You're perfect Rachel. I just realized I don't have any protection. I can't take that risk again." He swallowed hard as the need to be with her struggled with the consequences of not being safe. The pain over losing his daughter won out.

"In the drawer," Rachel breathed. She actually looked relieved as he looked at her questioningly. "The drawer," she said again as she flung her head in the direction of her nightstand. Finally understanding Puck reached over and opened the drawer to find, among other things, a package of condoms. He should have been ecstatic at the sight, but instead his mind flashed to a few months ago when he'd walked into this very bedroom to see Finn groping the very girl he was currently half naked with.

"How long have you had those?" he asked even as he reached for the box.

"They're not expired," she replied quietly. She was too distracted by the ache between her legs that had never been there before to notice the shadow cross Puck's face.

"How long?" he insisted.

She let out a sigh. "Fine. Since the day after Regionals, okay. Are you happy?"

He grinned at her even as his fingers ripped the box open. "Yeah," he said with laughter in his eyes, "I"m happy. You're telling me I'm such a stud that the day after I kissed you for the first time since we became friends you went out and bought a pack of condoms."

"I like to be prepared," she said huskily as she ran her tongue across his chest and gently tugged on his nipple ring. "Now put the damn thing on." The knowledge that Rachel Berry, who had to be prepared for everything had never been prepared to have sex with Finn, but had felt the need to be prepared with Puck did wonders for getting him back in the mood.

She watched him with hooded eyes as he removed his only article of clothing. "Can I help?" she whispered tentatively. She was completely inexperienced and felt unsure of herself. She didn't want to do the wrong thing, but somehow Puck made her feel comfortable. The way he looked at her made her feel as though nothing she might do would change the way he felt.

He pulled her close to him as he sat back on his haunches and taking her hand he guided her with his own as they slid the thin latex over his erection together. He kissed her deeply as she maintained her hold on him and slowly began moving her hand firmly up and down his length. Her hand stilled when he took her breast in his mouth and flicked her hardened nipple with his tongue, then quickly whirled his tongue around it. A moan escaped the back of her throat as he pushed her back down onto the bed.

She realized he hadn't come down with her and when she looked up at him a shock ran up her spine and made her shiver as he reached down and removed the last shred of clothing that remained between them. He ran his hands slowly up her calves as he kissed her knees, first one then the other. Gently he pressed her thighs apart until he could see her and his jaw clenched at the sight of how wet she was. She let out a sharp intake of breath as he ran his tongue between her folds. Never in her life had she felt anything so erotic and the spasms it sent through her caused her to buck her hips against him as he swirled his tongue inside her.

"Noah, please," she cried as she tried to grasp at him. He moved his way slowly up her body, nipping with his teeth on her hip, trailing his tongue across her belly button, placing soft kisses across her breasts until he was finally at her lips where he devoured her. Her fingernails clawed across his back as she tried to pull him closer, tried to fulfill this need that was all consuming.

He groaned deeply against her mouth as he slipped his fingers inside her, first one and then another. She was so wet for him, but he needed to make sure she was ready because he was almost certain he wouldn't be able to last long once he was inside her. He rubbed against her clit with his thumb and her reaction was to bite down on his neck until it actually hurt. He pulled his fingers out and gripping her hands he pushed them against the mattress and raised himself up a little more. "Are you sure?" he asked huskily even though he really didn't need the urgent nod she gave him to answer that question.

He could feel the warmth of her heat even before he slid into her. He went slowly because he knew this was her first time. That had been confirmed by the unopened box of condoms that were now very much open and strewn on her floor. She bit her lower lip as the pain pierced her and tears sprung to her eyes. She saw the worry in his eyes when he asked, "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," she breathed as the pain began to subside and was replaced with a feeling she couldn't describe. She just knew she needed to move, needed to help it along. "Don't stop," she pleaded as she ground her hips and felt him push himself even deeper inside her. Reaching his hand down he ran it down her thigh and then pulled her leg up and out to try to make more room for him and open her up more.

He moved slowly in and out of her as she moved against him in a tandem rhythm. His jaw was clenched as he tried to concentrate. He'd been right. She was so tight he was surprised he'd been able to control himself even this long. Reaching between them he pressed against her clit as he pushed harder into her, his pace quickening. "Are you close?" he grunted softly.

"I don't know," she breathed as suddenly she felt the tight bundle of nerves in her belly explode and send a sensation through her that was more excruciatingly intense and pleasurable than anything she'd ever experienced. As her walls contracted around him it sent Puck over the edge and he exploded inside her. They continued to move slowly against each other as the remnants of their orgasms were spent from their bodies. When he pulled out of her and rolled to his side she missed the feeling of having him inside her and she briefly wondered if she would now become some kind of nymphomaniac. _Only with him _she thought with a smile.

He placed a soft kiss against her temple and whispered, "I'll be right back," as he climbed out of the bed and walked quickly to the bathroom. She watched him move and was overwhelmed at the absolute perfection of his physique. She heard the toilet flush and when he came back out he had discarded the used condom. She blushed as he watched her watch him walk across the room to her. He gave her a sexy grin as he climbed back in beside her and pulled her flush against him. "You like what you see?" he chuckled.

"Mmmhmm," she murmured as she placed soft kisses against his chest. He leaned back against the pillows and pulled her close to him, wrapping his arm around her as he hugged her to his chest. She drew shapes with her fingertips across his chest as they lay together like this for a while.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked. "You don't, like, regret it?"

"No," she reassured him as she looked into his worried hazel eyes and placed a long kiss on his bruised lips. "I'm okay. I feel really good actually. I'm glad my first time was with you Noah," she told him honestly. "And I promise I'll get better with practice," she added.

"Rachel, you were amazing," he said as he squeezed her closer to him. "And I'm glad your first time was with me, too," he added with a lazy smile. He looked down at her and then around the room. Sunlight was now streaming across the floor that was riddled with discarded clothing and condoms that had fallen from the box in his haste to get it open. He sighed. "I should probably get going before your dads wake up."

"Probably," she said sadly as she cuddled even closer to him. Just then they heard stirrings coming from down the hall. "Quick Noah," she said, suddenly frightened that they would be discovered, but also disappointed that they had to cut their post-coital pillow talk short. Rachel hurriedly slipped her night clothes back on and shoveled the condoms back into her drawer while Puck ran into her bathroom, threw his dirty clothes back on and went to her window.

"Noah," she whispered as he slid the window open. He turned toward her and she walked to him, wrapped her arms around him and slowly kissed his lips, letting her tongue just barely graze against him. He pulled her close and she could feel that if they'd had time they probably could have gone another round and she felt disappointment. "I'll see you later," she whispered as she pulled away and he disappeared over the edge of her roof.

An hour later as Rachel was heading downstairs to join her fathers for breakfast there was a knock at the door. She heard her dad answer it and as the voice of their visitor reached her a huge grin spread across her face. "Noah," she whispered as she threw herself into his arms and he lifted her up in a huge hug. It didn't go unnoticed by her that he was now freshly showered and wearing clean clothes. _He must have snuck into his own house, changed, and come back_ she thought with a smile. That's exactly what he'd done. Puck knew that the instant his mother saw him he would not be leaving her sight until everything had been explained and punishment dealt out.

"Hey Babe. Sorry I worried you," he said back with a grin on his own face.

Her fathers looked at the two teenagers and then at each other. Something was different, but they couldn't be certain about what exactly was different. One thing was certain. They knew their daughter well enough to know that this was not the first moment she had known that Puck was okay and back home. She had already known when the young man came to the door. Which made them worry about why exactly the two were acting as if this were their first contact since Puck had been missing.

With an unsettling cough her daddy said, "Noah would you like to join us for breakfast?"

"I'd love to. Thank you Mr. Berry," Puck replied as he guided Rachel into the dining room. It was not lost on either of her fathers exactly how low on their daughters hip his hand rested and they both frowned as they followed the two happy teens to the table.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Disclaimer out of the way. I don't own Glee. That would be the incredibly talented Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk along with Fox. Now, to my readers, my sincerest apologies for the delay in updating this story. It's so sad when life gets in the way of fiction. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this update and I will try my hardest to get the next one up in a more timely fashion! As always, your comments are appreciated and encouraged!**

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

Puck stepped out through his front door and stood on the porch for a moment as his body adjusted to the abrupt change in temperature after exiting the air conditioned house. With a grateful sigh he breathed in the warm air and exhaled loudly as he walked toward his truck. His mom had finally relented and decided to grant him his freedom once again. And as a little bit of a joke she waited until the Fourth of July to do it.

Now, Puck's a bad ass and you don't get to be a bad ass without getting into trouble a few times. Never in his life, however, had he imagined the extent of punishment his mother would mete out. When he had finally arrived home after having breakfast with Berry and her dads his mother had been waiting for him. Sneaking into the laundry room for fresh clothing and then sneaking back out again had served nothing except to make her even more angry. She had immediately confiscated his phone and the keys to his truck. When he finally made it to his room after being berated for the better part of an hour about how irresponsible he was and how much grief he put her through he had opened the door to a shocking sight. No computer, no TV, no X-Box. Basically, all she had left him was his bed and his clothes.

He had spent the next couple weeks with a daily list of chores to accomplish around the house and the understanding that if he failed to finish them his time in solitary confinement would be extended. So he cleaned his room, scrubbed the bathroom, re-papered the kitchen cabinets, cleaned out the garage, put up shelves and re-organized said garage, replaced the molding in his sister's room, mowed the lawn, and cleaned out the rain gutters. The one and only benefit to having absolutely nothing to do besides manual labor was that it gave him time to clear his mind and really think. He knew his mom was disappointed in the choices he'd made even more than she was angry with him. He was her only son and the only man in the house and his disappearing act had scared her. He had apologized for not telling her about the pregnancy, but explained that he hadn't wanted to prove to her even more than he already had what a screw up he was.

As he drove to his destination he thought about Rachel. Except for the few hours they shared in her room the evening he came back they hadn't spent any time together in almost a month. Puck had never understood the statement that absence makes the heart grow fonder. In fact he had always thought it was ridiculous. In his experience with regard to relationships absence just made it easier to move on and forget. Breaking up with Santana had only been upsetting for him because it meant an end to the sex. He couldn't even remember the names of the cougars he'd bedded last summer and none of the sexual encounters with them stood out in his mind as memorable.

But he actually ached to see Berry. And it wasn't just about the sex, although their one night together had been amazing. He missed seeing her smile, the way it just spread across her face in this flash of brilliance that would actually light up her eyes. He missed her contagious boisterous laugh that seemed to explode from her chest the same way a powerful note would. He missed her almost constant chatter about absolutely nothing important, but also how she was able to pepper in some really deep stuff in the middle of that insane barrage of words that would make him think or cause this painful swell of emotion that he had to shut down because he was not used to feeling shit like that. He missed the smell of her hair and the way her hand fit perfectly in his and how she would just slightly bump against him on purpose when they walked together. Yeah, he pretty much just missed everything about her, even the things that drove him crazy.

He was so anxious to see her when he pulled up in front of her house that he was nearly shaking with anticipation. After knocking loudly and receiving no response from inside the home he rang the doorbell. Still nothing. He scratched his Mohawk and sighed with frustration as he turned in circles on her front porch. Looking at her car sitting in the driveway he frowned. He hadn't been able to contact her at all during his stay at Mama Puck's Work Camp and he now worried if she had moved on or thought that maybe he had moved on. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he quickly punched in the text.

**Noah: Where r u?**

He was walking back to his truck when his phone buzzed in his hand.

**Berry: Noah! I'm McClesky Park at the South Field. Daddy's Co. picnic. Plz come!!!**

With a huge grin on his face he shoved the phone back into his pocket, climbed into his truck and peeled away from the curb. It only took him about fifteen minutes to get to McClesky Park. It was the largest park in Lima. There was a large open green surrounded by strategically placed large oak trees that provided shaded areas for all the picnic tables dispersed throughout. On the north side were the tennis and basketball courts and the south side held two baseball diamonds. He parked in the southeast corner of the park and instantly spotted the area he thought she was most likely to be.

A large tented area had been set up on the southwest portion of the green nearest the southern baseball field. There were probably over fifty people milling around the tent which had a large banner hanging from it that read "Annual 4th of July Berry & Silver, Attorneys at Law Company Picnic". As he walked across the grass toward the festivities he heard her before he actually saw her. Most of the people were around the baseball field and as he heard her voice carry across the open space he saw everyone draw in closer. He chuckled to himself as he thought, _Of course her dad would have her sing the National Anthem at his Fourth of July picnic._ He reached the bleachers as she hit her stride.

_The bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that the flag was still there._

Weaving his way up to the four foot fence that defined the edges of the field he was finally able to see her and a smile instantly spread across his face. His girl was smokin' hot. She was wearing tight little dark blue denim shorts with a red v-neck t-shirt that hugged and accentuated her body perfectly. Her dark brown hair was braided into two straight ponytails and she was holding a white and red Cincinnati Reds baseball cap in her hands that he knew would be sexy as hell as soon as she put it back on. He watched her stand on the pitcher's mound and belt out the last few lines. Her voice never ceased to amaze him and as it cut through him he thought there would be nothing more natural than for Rachel Berry to open a professional baseball game with the National Anthem. He watched her with pride as she approached the big finish and gave the last verse everything she had.

_O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave._

Everyone broke out in applause and she gave a grateful curtsy and put the cap back on as she walked towards her dad's who were standing at the opposite side of the field as Puck. "Berry!" he shouted to her. At the sound of his voice her head snapped around in his direction and a huge smile spread across her face. He was right, too. She looked every bit as sexy with that cap on as he thought she would. "Noah!" she cried out as she changed her direction back toward him. He looked for the gate to get onto the field, but quickly realized it was too far away and he didn't want to waste any more time. With a couple quick steps towards the fence he gained momentum and then grabbing the top bar with his hands he swung his legs up and easily vaulted over the chain-link barrier.

At the power and gracefulness of his leap over the fence Rachel felt her chest clench. She had assumed when she didn't hear from him that he was grounded, but the days had dragged on and a small part of her was afraid he had moved on after getting what he'd wanted. She had tried to push those doubts aside, but Finn's betrayal had scarred her ability to trust and Puck's history hadn't helped assuage those fears. She'd been ecstatic when she'd received his text asking where she was and now as he jogged toward her she could barely contain herself. She couldn't stop herself from appreciating his tanned sculpted arms or the way the white muscle shirt he was wearing clung tightly to his pectoral muscles.

As his arms snaked around her hips and forcefully pulled her against him she reached her arms around his neck and met his lips with her own and the roller coaster ride that was loving Noah Puckerman started up again with a stomach dropping plunge. _Loving?!_ _No_ she thought to herself _not yet. At least not out loud._ When he curled his tongue around her own and she felt a wetness growing between her thighs she suddenly remembered they were in a very public place and pulling away she whispered breathlessly, "My dad's are here."

Puck slowly pulled away from her and looking over her shoulder he could see her dad's already approaching. In an effort to ease the sexual tension he gave her a cocky grin and flipped the bill of her cap down so that it covered her face. "Bet you thought I was out fucking cougars." Rachel was grateful for the baseball cap because she didn't want him to see the truthfulness of that statement in her eyes. She couldn't think of a response so she just laughed as she readjusted her cap. A look of concern flashed across Puck's face just as her father's reached them.

"Noah it's good to see you," the tall black one said as he reached out his hand. Puck shook the older man's hand and smiled.

"It's good to finally be seen again. I was a little afraid my Mom would kill me and just dispose of my body with no one being the wiser."

Rachel's short nerdy white dad laughed and nodding knowingly at his daughter replied, "I know at least one person that would have missed you. And knowing my daughter she would have formed her own task force to investigate your disappearance."

"Daddy," Rachel admonished him as embarrassment flushed her cheeks an attractive pink. Puck smiled down at the tiny brunette next to him and skimming his hand slowly down the inside of her arm he intertwined their fingers. He had every intention of dragging her off to some place more private and showing her just how much he'd missed her when the father she called Daddy said, "Noah, you're just in time."

_Crap_ he thought to himself. "In time for what?" he asked aloud as he plastered his face with his very best "I have no intention of sleeping with your daughter" smile.

"The baseball game is just about to start. Every year we play Silver versus Berry and every year that partner of mine wins. Not this year!" he shouted triumphantly as he patted Puck's muscular arm appreciatively. "This year we have a secret weapon in Rachel's new boyfriend and we're going to wipe the field with Isaac Silver and his athletically gifted friends and family."

Puck felt Rachel squeeze his hand as she laughed. She gave him a peck on the cheek and as she sauntered away she called over her shoulder, "I'll be cheering for you." The look she gave him made him groan inwardly. Her dad's were very excited to have him on their team and it didn't take Puck long to realize that Rachel's competitive streak was an inherited and nurtured family trait.

It didn't take long for some good natured heckling to begin. Puck sized up the other team and quickly realized he was going to have to really work if he was going to help Rachel's dad beat his law partner. Normally, he wouldn't have really cared about impressing a girl's father. Usually, all that really mattered was staying alive long enough to complete what he referred to as a "fuck and run". Rachel was different. While he was still acting like an ass toward her she had extended to him a branch of friendship. She was special and not in the short bus way. Somehow she made him want to be better without telling him she expected him to be better. So it was important that her dad's like him or at least trusted him enough to spend time with her.

That was why he sprinted for the pop fly that gave them the final out in the second inning. It was why he noticed that the other teams short stop and second baseman were constantly competing with each other over who could get to the ball faster which helped tremendously when that competition caused them to miss the grounder Puck aimed straight between them to bring two runs in and put himself in position to score when Berry's dad went up to bat. It didn't hurt anything either that Berry herself was sitting in the first row of the wooden benches screaming his name and yelling ridiculous things like, "Yeah, Noah you made it to the second square!" and "Hit a touchdown Daddy!"

A few times he caught her deep brown eyes devouring him as she bit on her lower lip and he'd flex his arms and send her a sexy grin. She'd blush when she'd realize he'd caught her and that made him chuckle. Puck was on second base in the final inning with a tied score when he locked eyes with her on the bench. She gave him a soft smile and then slowly ran her tongue out and across her upper lip. _This game needs to end now _Puck thought as the fourteen year old girl of one of Daddy Berry's paralegals went up to bat. Puck mouthed _watch this_ to Rachel, gave her a flirtatious wink, and as the pitcher pulled his arm back he took off at a full sprint. He was safely on third before their catcher realized what had happened and Team Berry erupted with screams and whistles.

The last couple hours had been agonizing for Rachel. She had instantly wanted to drag Puck somewhere less public so they could make out and talk and make out. Yes, that was twice. She thought it was sweet that he was trying so hard with her dad's, but she really just wanted to spend some time with him, especially since they really hadn't seen much of each other for an entire month. The fact that she had given him her virginity and hadn't seen him since was a little disconcerting to her as well and as confident as she may appear she really was nervous about this new relationship that had come out of nowhere.

She had never really watched the annual baseball game. Her daddy was always complaining about how Isaac Silver brought in ringers and that's why they never won so she knew he was very happy when Puck had shown up with his athletic build and natural ability. She had only left for a couple minutes to grab a drink and other than that she had stayed where she was, her eyes glued to Puck, watching his every graceful move. The power that coursed through his legs as he ran. The way his arms rippled as he swung the bat. He kept casting looks her way and sending her little winks and smiles that would have made her knees go weak if she hadn't already been sitting down. When he'd winked at her and began running as fast as he could her heart had leaped into her throat because she thought he was giving up the game just to put an end to it. She didn't realize until everyone started cheering that apparently if you were fast enough it was legal to run to the next white square without someone having to bat the ball.

Puck stood on third base with a cocky grin covering his face as his chest heaved from the sudden exertion. He could end this game with one hit. All he needed was for the little girl at bat to hit a grounder. She could hit it anywhere as long as it was a grounder. She swung and Puck's muscles flinched in their readiness to run, but the ball made a thud in the catcher's mitt instead. The guy threw Puck a wary look before he tossed it back out to the dude who was pitching. Puck readied himself again and this time he heard the distinct crack as the ball hit the bat. In the same instant he saw it hit the ground in a slow roll toward the short stop his legs began churning toward his destination. He could see the guy fumble the ball a little and it was that second of uncertainty that he needed. Two seconds before the ball landed into the waiting catcher's hands Puck crossed the home plate and the game was over.

He was quickly surrounded by everyone as they pounded his back and slapped high fives. Daddy Berry was practically crying he was so thrilled to finally win. Turned out his buddy Silver was a pretty good loser and told Berry it was about time he hired some muscle to end their streak. Everyone was laughing and joking when he felt a small hand grab his own and he looked down into smiling milk chocolate eyes. "If there's one thing I'm good at, it's stealing," he told her with a smile. When she replied in a husky tone, "I know another thing you're really good at," he grabbed her braids and pulled her into a deep kiss.

Now that the game was over the only thing people were interested in was food and the smell of grilled burgers and hot dogs was overwhelming the closer you got to the tent. Puck was hungry, but he also wanted time with Rachel and he figured now was the perfect opportunity because everyone else would be eating. "Let's go somewhere," he whispered in her ear. When she nodded her assent he began to steer them away from the rest of the crowd. He nearly groaned out loud in frustration when they heard her dad yell out, "Rachel. Noah. Hold on."

Puck took a deep breath before he turned around with Rachel to face her dads. He didn't know how much more of this he could take before he snapped and said what he was thinking. _Could you please leave us alone for like five minutes so I can get a little action?!_ No that would not go over well. What happened next shocked the hell out of him.

"Noah, we're so happy you were able to make it today and while you're very welcome to stay and partake of the banquet we have prepared I imagine that the extended period of isolation you've just been through has made you most anxious for some alone time with our beautiful Rachel."

Yep, Berry may have got her competitive nature from her white daddy, but she talked like her black one. "Um," was all he was able to say because he hadn't caught half the stuff the guy was saying. Thankfully Rachel had understood him.

"You really don't mind if we take off, Dad?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

He gave her a smile and a hug. "I have fond memories of my teenage years and most of them don't include spending entire days with my parents and the people they worked with. You two go have fun, but be safe. It's the Fourth of July and there are a lot of people who don't realize how intoxicated they are and still get behind the wheel. And since it is the Fourth, we'll extend your curfew until 1."

Rachel had let out a squeal at that. She kissed both her dads, told them she loved them and then taking Puck's hand in her's nearly skipped across the green to his truck. She talked the entire walk as she held onto his arm and bounced beside him. She asked him what he'd done while he'd been grounded but didn't give him time to answer before she moved on to tell him about this amazing book she'd read that was making her rethink her entire dietary habits and that perhaps she should consider becoming a vegan which would not only help her conscience in regard to the innocent helpless animals that were slaughtered for the convenience of a drive-thru burger, but would also put her a step ahead in her rise to stardom because these days most celebrities were either vegetarian or vegan. Not that she would do it for that reason. Really it's just the humanitarian and healthy thing to do.

Puck just smiled. He didn't have a clue what she was talking about, but he enjoyed having her beside him and he liked the way her boobs sometimes brushed against his arm when she bounced too close in her excitement. When they got to his truck and he opened the passenger door and helped her up into the cab she finally asked, "So what are we going to do?" and actually stopped and looked at him with a smile as she waited for his answer. "Well, babe, we're going to stop at the store for some munchies and swing by my house to pick up some sleeping bags and blankets. Then we're going to drive out to Lake Bean where I'm going to fuck you senseless as fireworks light up the night sky." He had a huge grin on his face as her cheeks turned bright red and he slammed her door shut and walked around to the driver's side. _Independence Day fucking rocks!_


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters. See previous chapters for who does. I want to send a huge thank you out to everyone who has been reading this story and also an even bigger apology for taking so long to update. It's the usual excuse of life, although for a while I just couldn't find the right words. I hope you all enjoy this update and I do want to tantalize you with a little tidbit. I've had an idea for another story already, which normally doesn't happen until I've actually finished what I'm currently writing and may have something to do with my mild case of writer's block, but it's actually working out to be a sequel to this story so I'm going to put forth great effort to finish this one up so I can start writing the next one. Thank you all for sticking around and I appreciate your comments!**

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

A little over an hour after they had left McClesky Park Puck and Rachel were driving slowly down the gravel road that led out to Lake Bean. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the sun glinted off all the cars that filled up the small parking area and even took up some of the surrounding grassy field. Rachel was mentally preparing a speech explaining that she was not into exhibitionism when he stopped the truck, engaged the four-wheel drive, and then continued slowly out into the very much unpaved fields. The grass was high in places and she could hear it brushing against the metal sides of the doors as they pitched and rolled over the uneven ground. Puck went slowly, his hands gripping the wheel to keep it from jerking out of his hands at each dip in the terrain. After about ten minutes they found themselves on the opposite side of the lake and Puck turned the truck so that the cab was facing the dense covering of trees, giving the bed of the truck a perfect westerly view of the quickly sinking sun.

The tree coverage from this vantage point was so dense that if they didn't already know of the body of water 100 yards away they wouldn't have known it was there. Puck opened the door and climbed out without a word to Rachel, but when she heard the tailgate open she followed suit and opened her own door, grabbing the bag of snacks and drinks that had been resting against her feet and jumped down onto the hard packed untended earth. She took in a deep breath as the warmth of the day once again washed over her body. She could hear the distant calls and laughter of the party-goers at the lakeside, some voices coming more distinctly as they traveled over the water, but still muffled when they hit the barrier of trees and brush. The tall dry grass tickled against her bare legs as she walked along the side of the truck and stopped at the tailgate.

Puck had been busy while she had taken her time coming around. He had unrolled and unzipped two sleeping bags and laid them out across the truck bed to create a much softer environment. As she stood there smiling up at him he was shaking out a blanket and spreading it across the mattress he had created. She set the grocery bag on the tailgate as he walked toward her and with a smile on his face held out his hand. Placing her right foot on the bumper for leverage she placed her small hand in his strong one and felt him pull her almost effortlessly up to him. His arms snaked around her waist as he pulled her close and without any preamble claimed her lips with his.

His hands tugged her hips flush against him and she could feel the bulge in his shorts letting her know just how much he wanted her. The knowledge of this instantly set an aching throb in motion between her thighs and she couldn't control the soft whimper that escaped the back of her throat as she ground against him. She slipped her tongue past his lips as her hands raked across his mohawk and desperately tried to pull him closer. He smiled against her lips when she let out a small gasp as his hand made slow circles up the inside of her shirt and then finally found her breast, the nipple already peaked as he pinched it gently through her cotton bra.

Rachel pulled her head away from him as she frantically tried to catch her breath and moaned loudly when he slid his tongue across her collar bone, up her neck, and then gently tugged on her bottom lip with his teeth. They stood together in the gathering dusk with wandering hands that tugged at clothing and chests that heaved with the effort to breath. Puck smiled into her dark eyes and finally whispered huskily, "Hey."

She laughed softly as she placed a soft kiss along his jaw. "Hey yourself," she whispered back.

He tugged playfully on one of her braids and said with a smirk, "As much as I'd love to play John Smith to your Pocahontas right now, I'm really starving and I'm gonna need some food now if I'm going to have the strength to do to you what I want to later."

Rachel smiled softly and blushed. Running her fingers over the strip of hair that ran down the center of his head she replied, "With this haircut I think it would be more like tribal warrior rescues Shawnee princess and she shows him how appreciative she is." Puck gulped as his eyes brightened with the new fantasies now flashing through his head. Reaching down she picked up the bag of food and walked along the bed toward the cab where Puck had placed a few pillows. She cast him a sexy smile over her shoulder as she moved to sit down. "We can eat now, though. There's plenty of time for "Drums Along the Mohawk" later."

He couldn't let that go. As starved as he was right now he needed to be close to her. It had been two weeks since he'd been buried inside her and only that one time. He needed something right now, even if it was just to feel her, to taste her, anything. Kneeling down on the blankets he grabbed her ankles and pulled her to him. Lifting her up so that she straddled his lap he ran his fingers up and down her bare legs as he plundered her mouth with his tongue, pushing, twisting, and sucking until he felt her fingers fumbling with the button on his cargo shorts. When he pulled his lips away from her she breathed his name against his skin and tried to kiss him but he pulled back, avoiding the attempted contact. She looked at him questioningly. "No games right now. We'll save those for later," he said with a smirk. "Right now I just want to feel you come around me."

Gently he pushed her back down into the bed of the truck. She looked up at him with hooded eyes as he expertly removed her shorts. As he quickly removed his own shorts Rachel pulled her top up and over her head so that she was now lying before him in her simple white cotton bra and a pair of white cotton panties with tiny pink flowers. As his gaze raked over her body she said almost apologetically, "Next time I'll wear something sexier. I wasn't expecting to get to see you today."

Puck shook his head as he held her gaze in the waning light. The world was falling into shadow as the pale light of the moon replaced the glare of the sun and if it weren't for the steady thumping bass coming from the Fourth of July party he would have thought they were the only two people in the world. _She's the only person in my world that matters_ he thought to himself. It scared him, these feelings he had for this girl he used to terrorize, but pretending to not care had somehow become impossible. "You are so damn sexy Rachel," he breathed as he lowered himself on top of her. His kiss was so gentle and caring that tears sprung up in Rachel's eyes. As he deepened the kiss his hands roamed across her body as if he were trying to memorize her every curve.

As crickets chirped loudly around them and the first sharp pops and sparks of small firecrackers joined the cooling night air they took their time finding their way. They kissed and touched everywhere as they explored each others bodies, taking pleasure in finding the secret spots that would make the other suck in a breath or moan with ecstasy. So many times they brought each other to the edge just to pull back and start over again. "You're so fucking beautiful," he growled against her ear as they finally found release in each other.

Rachel lay against Puck as her breathing began to return to normal. The cooler air against their sweaty bodies made her shiver a little and Puck pulled the blanket up around them. Rachel could hear him rummaging in the grocery bag as he kept a strong arm around her, pulling her snugly against his body. He handed her a bottle of water and opening one for himself nearly finished it without taking a break. "I think I'm going to faint I'm so hungry," he said as he ripped into a bag of chips. She just nodded her head in agreement against his chest as she dipped her own hand in the bag and thoughtfully munched on the food. She was rarely at a loss for words, but what she'd just experienced with Puck had left her feeling completely shaken. It had felt like more than sex. It had felt like more than attraction, or like, or even deep caring. But she was afraid to say what it had felt like. _No, _she thought to herself as she ate quietly beside this boy that terrified her in ways she never thought possible, _I won't say it until I'm absolutely positive. I have to be certain this time._

"What are you thinking?" Puck suddenly asked her. She hadn't realized he'd been gazing down at her the whole time as they had fed their calorie starved bodies.

"Nothing," she smiled up at him.

He returned her smile and then to her complete surprise he continued talking. "My grandpa and I used to play this game. He said it was our special game, but I'm pretty sure now that he just used it to try to get me to talk to him after my dad split." She saw his jaw clench slightly as he spoke of his father, noticed the way he wouldn't look at her as he talked, but instead stared out into the blackness of the night. "It could be played 24/7. It was just whenever you were with that person that you had already agreed to play the game with and the only rules were that you had to be completely honest. Just out of the blue you would ask the other person _What are you thinking? _And that person would have to answer you honestly, without taking any time to try to cover their own ass about what they were really thinking about." He smiled down at her and gently nipped at the tip of her nose with his lips. "I used to try that _nothing_ answer with him too. He'd say, "Noah, that's a bunch of bullshit. The only people with nothing in their heads are politicians and lawyers and you're neither of those. Now play the game right you little dick.""

Puck laughed out loud at the shocked expression on Rachel's face. "Where did you think I learned how to talk like I do?" he grinned as she smiled back and playfully slapped his chest. "So do you want to play the game with me?" he asked her, his face suddenly turning serious. "It could be ours," he finished quietly, "I'm sure my grandpa wouldn't mind."

"I'll play with you Noah," she answered softly. She loved this side of him. There was a softness in his eyes when they were together and the fact that he was sharing personal moments with her made her heart swell with happiness. This was the way a real relationship was supposed to feel. It was nothing like the time she'd spent with Finn and she realized more than ever that what had transpired between the two of them may have been a relationship but it wasn't a good one. She took a drink of water as the first real fireworks of the night lit up the sky in a burst of red, white, and blue flames. This was the perfect spot to enjoy them and still have some privacy. She wondered how many other girls he'd taken here for this exact purpose.

"What are you thinking?" Puck asked her with a smile on his face.

Rachel laughed. "I was wondering how you found this spot."

He quirked his eyebrows at her and pursed his lips before he answered. "Since you're new to the game I'll let that one go."

"What!" Rachel cried out indignantly. "I was completely honest. I don't cheat Noah."

"I didn't accuse you of cheating. But you also weren't completely honest because what you were really wondering is if I found this spot because this is where I take girls to hook up." He saw surprise quickly followed by guilt flash through her eyes. When she dropped her head to avoid eye contact he raised her chin with his free hand and forced her to look him in the eyes when he said, "You're the only girl I've ever taken here Rachel."

"Okay," she accepted quietly. She placed a soft kiss on his lips to reassure him that she believed him and then rested her head on his chest. Puck was enjoying the feel of her naked body next to him and the weight of her head on his chest, watching fireworks burst into the night, and listening to the muffled noise of what sounded like a raging party, when he felt a wetness on his chest. At first he thought maybe she'd fallen asleep and was drooling on him, but he could tell from the feel of her body that she wasn't asleep.

Raising her up he realized she was quietly crying. His voice full of concern he asked, "Rachel what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I just..." she faltered as she tried to find the words to tell him how she was feeling. "Everything. Tonight. And then today and just everything Noah. Seeing you today and the way you were with my dads was so amazing. Watching you flaunt your physical prowess was intoxicating and then tonight with you, what we did and....and how it made me feel....it was beautiful Noah and terrifying all at the same time. And then I thought about our first time together and how it happened and then you disappeared and I thought maybe you thought being with me was a mistake because, you know, it happened after you'd been through such an emotional trauma and people aren't supposed to make huge decisions like that when they're in such a vulnerable state and then when you showed up at the field you made that joke about the cougars. And I know it was just a joke, but it also reminded me of how experienced you are and how inexperienced I am and how am I supposed to compare to all those women? Let alone the girls our age that you've been with. I'm not Quinn or Santana. I don't know how I can possibly compete with them in this particular activity. I mean, vocally, of course I have the advantage and it's really not even a competition. Then I realized how much fun I have with you, besides the sex, and I don't want to lose you, but how am I supposed to keep you when I can't compare to all these other women and God, Noah, the way you make me feel....I just don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you."

When she'd finally finished her speech the tears had stopped falling, but her chest was still heaving and he wasn't sure if it was from her trying to control her tears or just trying to catch her breath after saying so much in such a short amount of time. He wanted to laugh but he thought that might not be the right reaction to such an honest confession of her feelings. However, he couldn't hold back the smile that spread across his face as he shook his head at her. "Berry, you are crazy." At the hurt look that flashed across her face he continued quickly. "But I like your crazy."

Sighing loudly he rubbed his hand across his head as he tried to figure out where to start. "First of all, Berry, if I'd had my choice I would have never left your bed after we did it and the only reason I "disappeared" was because my mom grounded my ass so hard you'd think I was on a terrorist watch list. I don't regret being with you." He saw the small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth and knew he was on the right track.

"Now as far as this competition shit goes, babe, there's no comparison. Yes, I've had sex with a lot of women. And I mean, _a lot_ of women." That was not the right thing to say because now her smile was gone and she was frowning and her eyebrows were furrowed together. "What I mean is that you shouldn't worry about comparing yourself to any of them because I don't compare you to them. I may have had sex with them Rach, but I was never _with_ them." He breathed deeply as his chest constricted with the effort to do something he'd never done before. "They were just sex. You're more than that, Rachel. I care about you, like, a lot, and....I don't want to lose you either." Yeah, that was the right thing to say because now her lips were on his and her hands were traveling down his chest, and oh, yeah, he should have tried this whole sharing your feelings crap a lot sooner.

"So you like the way the old Puckerone's look swinging a bat, huh?" he chuckled against her ear as she sucked on his neck. She gave him a low sultry laugh as she moved her body so that she was now straddling him. "Mmm hmm," she answered as she kissed his mouth, immediately sucking his tongue into hers and ground herself down onto him. "Fuck Rachel," he growled out. "That's what I'm aiming for," she answered and followed it with a laughing squeal as he flipped her onto her back in one swift movement.

A little after midnight they began packing up the sleeping bags and fifteen minutes before 1 o'clock in the morning Puck pulled into Rachel's driveway. They sat in the truck for a while, neither of them really wanting the night to end. Puck wasn't sure exactly what was happening to him. He still felt like himself, but he found himself doing things and saying things to Rachel that he had never done or said before. Things he'd never shared with anyone he suddenly wanted to share with her. He wanted her to see him, to really see who he was and not the hardened bad ass that he showed to the rest of the world.

"What are you thinking?" At her softly spoken question he turned and saw that she was staring at him. The light from her porch shone through the window and created a back light that would have made Spielberg piss his pants. Her hair had come out of the braids long ago and the glow that shined around her made her look like an angel, her skin creamy soft, her lips dark and bruised. He felt his throat close up from the emotions that threatened to choke him.

"I've never done anything good in my life, so how the hell did I get you?" he asked. She blinked in surprise. She had been expecting some sort of lewd comment. Definitely not such an emotionally soul-baring response.

"Noah," she started quietly, but he interrupted her.

"I'm a screw up Rachel. You know that, probably better than most. Why would you even want to be with me? You're like, this angel, and I'm a devil-spawn. How can you possibly want to be with me?" he asked almost angrily.

"Because I see you, Noah," she answered him almost immediately. Her voice was strong with conviction as she moved quickly across the seat and forced him to keep his gaze locked with hers. "I see who you really are. Yes, you've screwed up, but we all screw up. We're teenagers, that's what we're supposed to do. And you are _not_ a devil-spawn and I'm no angel. But you want to know why I want to be with you?" She waited for him to respond, but when all he did was look at her she continued anyway.

"Because you make me feel like anything is possible. The day you accepted my offer of friendship I knew that what's underneath the surface is so much more than what you portray. When we were just friends and hanging out, Noah, I've never done that. No one's ever wanted to be my friend, and yet there you were, putting up with my...._crazy._" She smiled when that got a short laugh out of him. "You helped me through everything with Finn." She flinched slightly when she said the other boys name and she felt his jaw clench under her fingers. "Most of all, Noah, you make me feel....special. And cared for. And wanted."

"You are wanted," he said huskily. He kissed her softly on the lips. "And cared for." Another soft kiss. "And so fucking special we're gonna need another short bus," he laughed as she slapped his chest lightly and he stole another kiss from her.

"I have to go," she breathed against his mouth as she returned his kisses. He nodded his head but continued to kiss her. With a heroic amount of strength she pulled herself away and jumped down from the cab. As she walked up the steps and stuck the key in her front door she heard Puck call to her quietly.

"Rachel!" Turning she looked at him leaning across the cab to yell at her through the open window with his goofy, sexy smile and a smile spread involuntarily across her own face just at the sight of him. "I'll see you tomorrow, babe," he said. Then he put the truck in reverse, made sure she walked in the door, and drove home.

Rachel leaned against the inside of the door for a moment as she breathed in slowly and replayed her afternoon and evening. As she climbed the stairs she couldn't stop smiling. This was definitely the best summer, ever.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. I appreciate everyone's patience and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Love reading your reviews and seeing how many people have alerted this story. I do want to say it's winding down. I think there's maybe about four chapters left, I feel a little sad. Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, please see previous chapters for details. Thank you all for your creative support. Enjoy!**

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

Noah Puckerman was not whipped. He was still just as much a badass as he ever was. But even he had to admit that something had changed. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that he had a daughter growing up just an hour or so away that he'd probably never see again and would never have a relationship with or if it was this strange new relationship he had going on with Rachel Berry, but something had definitely changed. He could even pinpoint the moment he realized something was different.

His mom had insisted that he stay gainfully employed this summer. Those were Rachel's words for it. His mother's had been more along the lines of "I want you so busy during the day and so tired at night that you don't have the time or energy to knock up any more slutty Gentiles." He still had his pool cleaning business, but that didn't keep him busy enough for his mother's taste so Rachel had suggested that he also offer guitar lessons. They had posted fliers a few places and all of the sudden he had people calling him and appointments to set up and keep and Rachel got him a calendar to track them all in so that he wouldn't miss any of his lessons and he could keep track of who had paid him and who hadn't. It was proving to be a very lucrative business that he wished he'd thought of before because he could have totally used the cash he was now raking in during school. What it also turned out to be was the perfect way to show his mom he'd learned his lesson and he could be the responsible son she wanted so badly.

His extremely badass entrepreneurial status also kept him from missing Rachel too much. Yeah, that's right. He missed her. But, seriously, who wouldn't? His girl was smoking hot, talented in so many ways, and willing to try pretty much anything once. She was also very busy. Apparently, just because school and glee were on break that didn't mean that she took a break. She still had dance classes and singing lessons and she'd signed up for some kind of summer acting seminar down at the community theater. So basically his jobs kept him busy until Rachel was free. He deliberately never scheduled anything if it would conflict with time that she would have free time, especially if that free time coincided with the time her dads would be at work.

So now we come to the moment. It wasn't one of those spotlight hitting you while a choir sings "Waaa" in the background. Like most moments in life it didn't even register with him what had happened until after the decision was made. It was almost noon in mid-July. Rachel's dads were both at work, she had the afternoon free, and he was on his last pool of the day and already making plans for how he and the sexy brunette could spend the afternoon. "Puck, it's so hot out today. When you're finished you should come in to cool off. I've made some fresh lemonade," came a sultry voice from behind him.

When he looked over his shoulder he could see Mrs. Robinson (yeah, he got the joke, too) standing at her sliding glass door wearing absolutely nothing. The way the house was angled there was no way any one could have seen her and this wasn't the first time Puck had seen her. In all honesty, she was one of the cougars he'd looked forward to tapping again once summer started up. She was toned and tanned and a very eager lay. Before Rachel. After Rachel she looked old and plastic and desperate. Without a word Puck packed up his cleaning gear and started toward the front yard. "I'll send you a bill," he said as he watched the smile slip from her face and quickly become replaced with rage and humiliation. _Whatever,_ he thought as he tossed his stuff in the back of his truck and climbed into the cab.

As he turned the key in the ignition what had happened suddenly hit him. A willing, naked woman had just tried to seduce him and he had walked away. He didn't even have to think about it. He hadn't been tempted. He had seen her and instantly compared her to Rachel and he had chosen Rachel. As he drove slowly toward her house he thought about how much he had personally changed this summer, or maybe it had started sooner than that. Maybe it was when he found out he was going to be a dad or when everyone else found out he was going to be a dad. Or maybe it had been a moment in the rain under a pink umbrella and a decision to slam a dweeby perv into a locker. _Who knows,_ he thought to himself, _fact is its happened._ With a smile on his face he realized maybe he was becoming a man. _'Bout fucking time s'what Mom would say_, he laughed as he pulled into the Berry driveway.

He knocked once and then let himself into the house. "I'm in the kitchen," he heard Rachel call to him. He'd brought his guitar with him and as he walked into the kitchen he leaned it gently against the wall as he took in the sight before him. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail as she stood at the counter piling turkey and cheese on bread for him and a veggie patty sandwich for her. She was wearing a white tank top, but he could see the strap of her hot pink bikini top that was tied around her neck. Her hips were covered with some kind of wrap skirt that she had tucked in the top and Puck was pretty sure it worked like a towel and he could just rip it off her. "Hey babe," he whispered against her neck as he walked up behind her and snaked his arms around her waste. She pressed herself into him and turned her head with a smile as she placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I made us lunch." And with that she picked up the plates and he followed her to the island bar and they ate as Rachel talked about the pros and cons of the method style of acting.

Puck stretched after finishing his sandwich. "Thanks for lunch Berry. I was starving."

"Yes, I'm sure you work up quite an appetite working around those cougars on the prowl," she replied as she automatically began clearing the dishes. She had tried to make it sound lighthearted, but it had come out as very jealous and a little pouty.

Puck chuckled as he followed her to the sink, turned her around, and pressed up against her. There was no way he was telling her about Mrs. Robinson now. "They can prowl all they want. You're all I want," he said as he captured her lips with his. As he pulled away he smiled down at her and then with a sexy pout said, "Hey, next time I want the same mustard you had. That stuff's good." She laughed and turned away from him, slightly embarrassed because he'd tasted her lunch on her lips, but somehow still comfortable.

"So what are we going to do today?" he asked in a low voice as he ran his fingers slowly up her arm and watched goosebumps form on her skin.

"I was hoping we could just relax in the sun for a while. I feel like I haven't spent anytime outside in weeks and some sunlight is not only good for the complexion, but it also provides essential vitamins. I have a script I have to read for my class. I thought we could sit on the loungers and I'll read while you play your guitar."

Not exactly the way he'd wanted to spend the afternoon, but he was still okay with it. At least they'd be alone together and he was fairly certain she wouldn't be able to resist him for very long, especially once he removed his shirt. "Sounds good," he answered as he grabbed his guitar. Rachel grabbed her script off the counter and then reached into the freezer. "Do you want one?" she asked as she held up a purple colored popsicle.

"No," he replied, "but I'll take a Coke."

He held the back door for her and as she passed through she gave him a soft smile. Totally not whipped, just being a man. She tossed her script and the still wrapped popsicle on one of the loungers set up on the patio and Puck stood there and watched as she pulled the tank top over her head to reveal the tiny piece of pink cloth barely covering her breasts. Then the skirt/wrap/towel thing was undone and dropped to the ground and he felt all the blood in his body rush to his favorite appendage. She turned around and gave him a knowing smile, then tossed a bottle of sunscreen at him. He was lucky his reflexes were so good or it would have hit him square in the chest. "Do you mind?" she asked almost innocently as she turned her back to him.

He warmed the liquid between his palms before slowly dragging his hands across her shoulders and down her back. Rachel had to focus all of her concentration on not releasing the soft moan building inside her at the feel of his strong hands moving across her skin. She could feel the smile on his lips when he leaned down and gently placed a kiss along her neck. When his hands began to push at the edges of her bikini bottom she quickly pulled away. "Thank you Noah," she said softly as she got comfortable on the lounger, unwrapped her popsicle, and began reading her script.

Puck stood there for a minute in shock. He'd felt her body responding to him, but now she was acting like she hadn't felt anything at all. Either she was mad at him for something or she was playing some kind of game. _Well two can play that game,_ he thought as he pulled his t-shirt off and tossed it on the ground in her line of sight so she'd know his perfect torso was currently on display. Taking his own seat he pulled his guitar into his lap and slowly began strumming. He wasn't a total gleek, but he did like music and Rachel totally got off on that stuff, so he'd actually been working on something especially for her. He wasn't going to tell her that, though.

After a few minutes he realized how warm he was getting and that he didn't want a guitar shaped tan across his chest so he sat up in the chair and put the guitar away. Grabbing his Coke he took a long drink of it while he tried to figure out exactly how he was going to get Rachel to change her mind about how she wanted to spend the afternoon. He nearly forgot to swallow when he looked over at her.

Rachel's brow was furrowed slightly in concentration as she focused on the papers in front of her. What had Puck shifting awkwardly was the way she was eating that damn popsicle. He watched as she pulled the tip of it barely past her lips, sucking gently to get all the grapey goodness. His breath hitched and he gripped the sides of the lounger as she then slowly ran her tongue from the stick all the way up the popsicle, turning it in her hand to repeat the procedure over and over again only to swirl her tongue once again over the tip. When the popsicle disappeared completely past her lips he couldn't help the groan that escaped his own. And that's when he saw it. The smile she'd been fighting to hide twitched at the side of her mouth as she slowly dragged the purple ice back out. _She knows exactly what she's doing!_ Puck realized and with a frustrated growl he leaped from the lounger.

Rachel looked up at him as if she were surprised and he had to hand it to her, the girl could act. But he knew her well enough now to see the sparkle in her eyes and the hint of a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. Grabbing the script he tossed it aside as he pulled her up from the lounger and shoved his tongue greedily into her mouth. She could feel his erection against her stomach and a shiver ran through her body. "Spend the afternoon reading, my ass," he growled against her throat as he roughly pulled her even tighter against him.

Rachel forced herself to pull away and with a coy smile replied, "You know how important my career is to me," as she turned away from him and slowly bent over to pick up the script he'd tossed aside. She squealed with laughter as she felt his hands wrap around her body and then she was suddenly over his shoulder and being carried into the house.

When he was halfway through the kitchen he said gruffly, "If you want Berry, we can tape it and you can use it as your porno reel."

"Noah!" she said indignantly as she smacked his ass on their way up the stairs because in her current position it was the only body part of his she could reach. As he tossed her roughly onto her bed and quickly pressed her into the mattress with the weight of his own body he whispered huskily into her ear, "You asked for it babe." Moments later as the first of many orgasms ripped through her body she thought, _yes, yes I did._

**(TIME BREAK)**

The weekend Rachel's acting seminar ended Puck took her to the fair in Dayton. When he won her a pink stuffed bunny on his first try at shooting moving duck targets he flashed her a smile and flexed his guns to remind her that he was indeed a badass. She laughed and wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked together, his arm slung possessively over her shoulders. He got her a pink cotton candy and when she insisted she didn't want an elephant ear because she didn't want to consume too many empty calories he didn't complain when she asked for a small bite. Mostly because she let him feed her that bite and managed to gently lick his fingers of the cinnamon and sugar as she swirled the piece of dough into her mouth with a delighted smile.

He nearly came unglued when he came out from the restroom to find some douche talking to Rachel and standing way too close, but Rachel's calming hand on his forearm made it so the unfortunate guy could get away unscathed. She'd never admit it, but Puck's possessiveness was a huge turn on for her. He became aware of that when she gave him a hand job at the top of the Ferris Wheel.

Secretly Rachel had been looking to see if they could spot anyone they knew from school. She didn't tell Puck, but a large part of her wanted to see how he would react if people they knew actually knew they were dating now, and not just friends. As it was they hadn't really been any public places together. She didn't mind that really, because the reason for that was they were doing things you shouldn't do in public places. Puck liked that what they had was just between them, at least for the summer anyway. They could deal with school when it came, but until then he was having fun and Rachel seemed to be having fun and why worry about something when it was so far away.

**(TIME BREAK)**

In the middle of August Rachel was sound asleep when she was awakened by her phone buzzing loudly on her night stand. Looking at the clock she realized she'd only been asleep for a couple of hours. The display showed that the call was from Noah so she quickly answered it.

"Hey, beautiful," he said at hearing the sleep in her voice. "Come outside."

"Noah, it's midnight and I was sleeping," she argued even as she threw the covers off and began rummaging in her drawers for a pair of shorts.

"Come on babe, summer's almost over and there's something I've been wanting to do with you before it ends."

With a resigned sigh she said, "I'll be down in a minute," and quickly dressed.

He gave her a soft kiss and then nodded his head in the direction of his truck as he walked toward it. Rachel looked back at the darkened house where her clueless fathers slept so soundly. "Come on Berry," Puck urged. She looked at him still undecided when he gave her that sexy smirk of his and said, "Live a little." Decision made, Rachel hurried to the truck and scrambled up into the cab.

When they pulled into the deserted Lake Bean parking lot she finally asked, "What exactly did you want to do that requires being at the lake in the middle of the night?"

"I didn't think you'd skinny dip with me in broad daylight," he answered as he exited the truck.

"N-Noah," she stammered as she followed him to the small pier in the dark. The moon was high and bright against a cloudless Ohio sky and she couldn't help appreciating the beauty of their surroundings. "Noah, I can't skinny dip."

"Why not?" he asked as he reached the end of the pier and removed his shirt, leaving it in a pile along with his shorts which quickly followed.

"Because we're in the open," she hissed even as her eyes automatically scanned the expanse of his body. He'd gone commando. She tried to focus back to his eyes and she could now see the laughter sparkling in those beautiful hazel orbs. "And I'd be naked," she finished. Even she knew it really wasn't a very good argument, but it was all she could come up with.

"First of all, babe, I've seen you naked and since I'm the only one here who's going to see you then it's really okay. In fact, that's the only way we'd be doing this because there's no way in hell I'm letting anyone else see how smoking hot your body is." Rachel couldn't help the blush that spread across her cheeks at what she knew was a compliment. "Second, it's the middle of the night and no one is ever going to know." As he finished he took a few steps back and then threw himself cannonball style into the dark water.

Rachel held her breath as if she were afraid that some terrible monster of the deep would swallow him up, but when his dark head broke the surface of the water she breathed a sigh of relief. Disappointment showed on his face when he realized she was still fully clothed. "Come on Berry," he said as he treaded water a few feet from the wooden pier. "Think of it this way, babe. When you're a famous star you won't be able to do this kind of shit because the paparazzi are going to be all over your ass, trying to catch you in compromising positions so they can sell their trashy magazines at the checkout counter. This may be your only chance to do something crazy like this." He could see her worrying her bottom lip and he knew all he needed was one more really good push and she'd be in the water with him. "Plus it'll be great life experience to draw from when you're starring in your first movie." _Got her_ he thought as a triumphant grin flashed across his face.

As she shed her clothes and walked toward the end of the pier in the moonlight his heart began to beat hard in his ears. When her head finally resurfaced after her jump from the pier she had a smile on her face and he knew he wasn't in trouble for coaxing her into doing this. _God, I love this girl_ he thought before he could even stop himself. The moment of realization caused his heart to clench in his chest. He'd never felt this way about anyone he'd ever been with and he'd certainly never said the words. He'd have to be careful not to let them slip out because he was not ready to deal with what saying those three words would mean.

They swam until he noticed her lips shivering and then he took her back to the truck where he'd stored towels and blankets. When they were dry and warm and lying wrapped in blankets in the bed of his truck staring up at the stars with Rachel's head resting on his chest she whispered, "Thank you, Noah."

He looked down at her with a cocked brow as he asked, "What for?"

"For helping me to enjoy being a teenager. I know that I can be overbearing sometimes. I just think of it as determination. I've known what I want to do with my life since I was a little girl and I know the kind of work that's involved in reaching my goal. Every choice I've ever made has been about reaching that goal. Except being with you," she said quietly. Looking up into his eyes she gave him a soft smile and gently kissed his lips. "I don't think I had much of a choice when it came to you."

"I'm pretty irresistible," he replied with a smile as he squeezed her tighter against him.

"What do you want to do with your life?" she asked him as her fingertips traced imaginary characters across his bare chest.

"Honestly?" he asked. She nodded up at him and he breathed in deeply as he truly thought about it. "I don't know. Most of my ambitions have been about the easiest way to get some tail, but lately I've been thinking about the future, you know, like, college and stuff." He was silent for a while and then he quietly said, "There's something I haven't told you."

Rachel raised up slightly so that she could look in his eyes. She saw the worry there and it scared her. "What is it, Noah?" she asked quietly and then reassured him, "You can tell me anything."

"I got a letter a couple weeks after school let out," he sighed loudly. He really didn't want to tell her, but the new school year was quickly approaching and she was going to find out anyway so it might as well be from him. "I didn't pass. I don't have enough credits to graduate with my class."

"So we're going to be juniors together?" she asked quietly. She tried to hide the smile that wanted to burst forth because she knew that this bothered him, but the only thing she could think about was that they'd have another year together before he had to leave.

"Yeah, as long as you want to keep dating a Lima Loser," he said sullenly.

"Stop it," she reprimanded sharply. "You're not a loser, Noah. You just haven't applied yourself. Now that you realize the consequences of those decisions you can make the necessary changes the next couple years. I know it's not what you wanted, but I really think it will turn out to be a good thing. You'll have the opportunity to raise your GPA, maybe do a few different extracurricular activities, and then when you apply to college you'll have more options."

"Why do you believe in me so much?" he asked her. He didn't think anyone except his mom had ever had as much faith in him as Rachel seemed to.

"I see your potential," she said softly as she rose from her reclining position against him to slide over the top of him so that she was now straddling his naked form. An approving smile spread across Puck's face as his hands glided over her hips. "What's your dream Noah?"

"Right now?" he asked with a lecherous smile.

"No," she chuckled, "for the future. Tell me your dream. Where do you want your life to go after high school?"

"I don't know," he said huskily as he ran his hands up her body and palmed her pert breasts. "I kind of like being my own boss. Maybe it would be cool to own my own business someday. I just don't know what kind."

Rachel smiled as she leaned forward and kissed him passionately, sweeping her tongue into his mouth. "All you need is a goal, Noah," she breathed against his lips, her eyes glowing in the moonlight as she slowly lowered herself onto him. She moaned softly against his ear as she lifted her hips up and down in a slow torturous rhythm, "Set a goal and then do everything you can to reach it. What's your goal, Noah?"

"Tonight?" he grunted against her neck as he lightly pinched her nipple as she rode him in the bed of his truck with the moon high above and nothing but the night air around them. He wasn't sure anything could possible top this moment. He was feeling down and she was giving him sex and talking seriously to him at the same time. _Only Rachel fucking Berry_ he thought with a chuckle. "Tonight my goal is to make you scream my name."

**(TIME BREAK)**

With just two weeks left before their junior year of high school would begin Rachel found herself standing on Noah Puckerman's front porch feeling more nervous and unsure of herself than she ever had before. Taking a deep breath she raised her hand and knocked on the door. Puck opened the door moments later and a smile instantly spread across his face.

"Hey babe, I didn't expect to get to see you tonight," he said as he immediately leaned in for a kiss. "You know I'm babysitting my sister, so we're not alone," he warned her as he moved to let her in.

"I know, Noah," she said as she walked into the Puckerman home.

Puck noticed the way she was wringing her hands and playing with the bracelet he'd given her that she still had never taken off, which he thought was totally awesome. But he also knew that she usually only fidgeted when she was nervous about something. "What's going on Rach?"

She looked at him and the look in her big brown eyes made his stomach clench with anxiety. The words she said next made him a little sick to his stomach. "I need to tell you something. Can we talk in private?"

Puck took a deep breath and summoned up all his courage. "Hey brat!" he yelled into the living room where Rachel could hear the iCarly theme song playing, "I'm going to my room for a minute. Don't move from that spot or I'll cut your little horse's head off and leave it in your bed!"

"Noah," Rachel hissed disapprovingly at him as she followed him up the stairs.

Puck didn't say anything. He was too preoccupied. Rachel's nervousness and her request to talk in private had his mind jumping to all sorts of conclusions. Top on that list was that he was going to be a father again. The entire way to his room he was frantically racing through all the times they'd been together trying to remember if he'd worn a condom. He was almost positive he had. He swallowed hard as he closed the door behind them and they were both suddenly swallowed by the silence in the room.

She wouldn't make eye contact with him and she seemed unsure of how to begin the conversation, which was completely unlike Rachel. _The lake!_ Puck suddenly remembered the night a few weeks ago that he'd taken her skinny dipping. Their first time that night she'd taken him a little by surprise and he hadn't suited up. _Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! _He screamed at himself even as he tried to remain calm on the outside. He could see the turmoil on Rachel's face and taking a deep breath he told himself, _This is your chance to be a real man Puckerman. Just be a fucking man right now for her and you can cry like a baby afterward._

"Rachel, I know it's hard to say the words out loud right now, but I want you to know that whatever you decide to do I'll be there for you every step of the way. I mean, I know I was a dick to Quinn sometimes, but I swear I've learned and I'll be better this time." He reached his hands out to her as he closed the short distance between them. Taking her small hands in his he squeezed them comfortingly and quietly said, "You make me better. I promise I'll take care of you...and our baby if you want to keep it."

Rachel's eyes widened in surprise. "Our baby?" she cried out. "Noah, no, I'm not pregnant."

"Oh thank God," he sighed as the tension in his shoulders visibly eased. "I mean, you're sure, right? Because if you are that would be okay, babe."

His misunderstanding helped relieve some of the anxiety she was feeling and Rachel actually gave a soft chuckle as she reached up and cupped his face with her hands. "You are so sweet, Noah. I'm positive that I am not pregnant, but I find it extremely endearing that you're so willing to do the right thing by me if I were. That's not what I need to tell you." The uneasiness returned to her eyes as she continued, "But it does have to do with a baby. Your baby."

He stared at her in confusion as she turned away from him and took a seat on his bed. "We've spent a lot of time together these past two and a half months, Noah."

"Over three," he corrected her. He knew exactly how long they'd been dating. Since they lost Regionals.

She smiled at the fact that he had actually been keeping track of how long they'd been together. "Yes, but I mean from the time when your daughter was born. You see, I've noticed the moments you try not to let me see. The way your step falters when someone walks by pushing a stroller. When we're in a store you walk by the baby aisle as quickly as possible. Sometimes you just kind of disappear and I've come to recognize the look in your eye when you're thinking about her. You try to hide it from me, Noah, but I see it. I see how much you hurt and it hurts my heart because I care for you so much."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, trying to force his voice past the lump in his throat. He hadn't realized Rachel had noticed all of those things. "I think I'll always think about her Rach. I'll always regret that I never got to say goodbye or to tell her how much I love her."

"I've been writing them," she suddenly blurt out and at his surprised expression she quickly continued. "I was afraid you'd spend the rest of your life living with the simple regret that you weren't able to tell her goodbye. I know you don't regret giving her up because it was the right decision for her, but you needed closure. I remembered their names from the adoption contract and it wasn't hard to get an address because he's a doctor. I've been writing them a letter every week since she was born. I told them about you, how you've made a lot of mistakes but that you're trying to take responsibility for them and to make changes in your life. I told them that you know she's in a better situation with them and that you have no desire to try to take her away, but that you just want an opportunity to see her and to say goodbye. I was just hoping for some kind of response from them and I didn't want to keep it from you, but I didn't want you to get your hopes up if they never contacted me."

There was silence as Rachel finally took a breath and tried to read the expressions on Puck's face.

"So then why are you telling me now?" Puck finally asked as her words sunk in. He wasn't sure how to feel about all of this right now. Part of him was upset with her for keeping such a huge thing from him, but he also knew that she was just being Rachel. She interfered in things that were none of her business. It was like a hobby for her. But in this case she hadn't done it to try to win someone over as a new friend or to try to get a solo she thought she deserved. She'd done it because she cared about him and she didn't want him to hurt so badly. And for that reason alone he'd already forgiven her for meddling.

"They contacted me Noah," Rachel said as a small hopeful smile spread slowly across her face. She could see that in all the emotions he was currently struggling with none of them were anger with her and she couldn't believe how relieved she was. "I received a message tonight. They're willing to let you come to Cincinnati to see her."

He couldn't help the wetness that sprung into his eyes at those words. He'd get to see his daughter. He was going to be able to tell her all the things he'd wanted to. He was going to be able to say goodbye. And it was all because of Rachel. He clenched his jaw as he tried to keep his emotions in check. He was still a man after all and crying in front of his girlfriend was something he did not want to make a habit of. "When?" he finally asked huskily.

"Tomorrow," she answered. "I thought maybe we could drive together, that is, if you don't mind the company."

He pulled Rachel to him and held her tightly as he whispered into her hair, "I'd love for you to come with me to meet my daughter."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Sorry this update was so long in coming. I want to thank everyone for their reviews. It helps keep me going. There's only a few more chapters left and this story will be over. I'm currently working on getting 21 and 22 completed and then I think 23 will be the last chapter. I'm going to finish them all and then post them in 3 sequential days, so that is at least something to look forward to. I was going to hold onto this chapter, but I think I'm done tweeking it so without further ado, here's chapter 20!**

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

For the first time in over an hour it was completely silent within the cab of Puck's truck. He swallowed hard as he looked out the window at the white ranch style house with dark blue shutters and a perfectly manicured lawn across the street from them. Rachel had sensed his nervousness and had kept up a constant chatter during the drive in an effort to distract him. He appreciated it because it had kept him from imagining all the possible things that could take place in the next few minutes.

"We're here," Rachel breathed as she slipped her hand into Puck's, drawing his attention away from the picture perfect house in front of them. "Noah, I came to give you moral support, but if you want to do this alone I would understand," she said quietly. "But before you go in, there's something I want to give you." As she spoke she pulled a small white box from her purse and placed it in the palm of his hand. He looked at her questioningly as he slowly opened the box, revealing the thin gold anklet with the tiny Star of David dangling from it nestled on a bed of white cotton that he had been looking at months ago, but hadn't purchased. He looked at Rachel in surprise and gently removed it from the box, letting the tiny piece of gold dangle from his fingers.

"I got it for you that day at the mall," Rachel said softly. The way he was staring at the small piece of jewelry she was now second guessing her decision to give it to him. "I had planned on giving it to you when she was born. I thought you could either keep it as something to remember her by, not that you'd ever forget her, but just sometimes it helps to have something tangible; or maybe you could give it to her if her adoptive parents allowed it, so that she'd have something from you. So that she'd always know that you loved her." Rachel paused and as Puck finally turned his gaze on her she felt her heart stop in her chest at the look in his eyes.

"Thank you, Rachel," he whispered as he choked back the emotion threatening to make tears fall from his eyes.

"I'm just sorry I wasn't there for you before," she replied, "but I'm here for you now. Whatever you need, Noah, I'm here for you."

Taking a deep breath he placed the anklet back in its protective box, took Rachel's hand in his and asked, "Would you mind coming with me?"

She smiled and shook her head no as she followed him out of the truck, sliding across the seat to exit through his door because he still hadn't released her hand. They held hands as they crossed the street and made their way up the stone path that led to the front door. She felt Puck squeeze her hand gently as he lifted his free hand and knocked on the door.

The door was answered by a tall, thin man with sandy brown hair and an intelligent face. He wore square-shaped glasses that fit his face shape well and added to the scholarly air that exuded from his person. A turquoise green shirt brought out the brightness of his green eyes and the look was finished off with a pair of khaki colored dockers and dark brown loafers. A smile instantly spread across his face as he took in the two teenagers standing before him. "You must be Noah," he said in a deep voice that didn't seem to fit his stature and yet somehow came across as comforting, as he reached his hand out to Puck.

Puck took his hand and was surprised at the strength in the grip of his handshake. It was a man's handshake, not limp and weak like he'd imagined it would be when he'd first seen the man's frame. "Yes," Puck replied as he cleared his throat, "and this is Rachel."

"Rachel," he replied, his smile remaining as he shook her hand as well. "It's nice to finally meet you. Please, both of you, come in," he said as he moved to the side to let them pass into the foyer. He led them into a living room that was decorated comfortably with large soft furniture. It was simple and yet tasteful and Puck could definitely see a child feeling comfortable and at home in this place. In the time it took for him and Rachel to sit down on the loveseat it was as if he could see his daughter's entire life pass in this home. Her little hands gripping the soft cushions of the sofa as she pulled herself up for the first time. Playing princess among all the pillows. Sitting in the armchair with her feet flung over the side as she laughed with a friend on the phone. She would be happy here. She would have a good life. He suddenly felt a calm come over him that he hadn't felt since the moment Finn had told him that Quinn was pregnant.

"Dr. Ellison," Puck started to say.

"Please call me Drake," the older man interrupted.

"Drake," Puck corrected himself, even though it felt odd, "I just wanted to thank you for agreeing to this. It's probably a little..."

"Disconcerting," Rachel chimed in, trying to give Puck the words he was searching for.

"Yeah, disconcerting," Puck said with a smile because he totally would have never used that word, "for me to be here, but I want to assure you that I have no intention of ever trying to take the baby back. I know that I can't give her the life she deserves."

Drake's shoulders visibly relaxed and he let out a breath no one had realized he'd been holding in. "Honestly, Noah, I appreciate your candor. I have to admit that my wife, Sara, and I have had many discussions about this visit. We were both against it at first, but your friend here is very persistent and it was obvious from her letters that she thinks very highly of you. Even though Sara was still very nervous about the whole thing I decided that it would be best for us all to meet." As he finished speaking a petite, fair skinned woman with short blonde hair entered the room. "Honey," he said with a kind smile, "this is Noah and Rachel."

"Oh, I didn't realize you were already here. It's so nice to meet you both," she said with a little surprise. As she shook each of their hands they could feel the slight tremor in her hand. The woman was terrified. Rachel wanted to speak up to try to put everyone at ease, but she was worried about overstepping.

"Listen," Puck suddenly spoke, slightly startling the brunette beside him, "I'm going to be honest." Puck breathed in deeply and rubbed his mohawk with his hand in a nervous habit as he tried to form the words he wanted to express. "If I could have I would have kept my little girl. I never wanted to give her up. I thought that her mother and I could provide her with all the family she would need. But I've grown up a lot in the last few months and I realize that I couldn't give her the life she deserved so I agreed to the adoption. And I agreed to let you guys adopt her because on paper you seemed like the perfect parents, you know, like the kind of parents any kid would want to have."

He stopped as he looked into Sara Ellison's eyes and then into Drake's. "Coming here and meeting you two and seeing where she lives and how she's going to grow up has really helped me to see that I made the right decision. That's all I needed really, is just to know for sure that I'd given her to the right couple. I know the agreement was that we wouldn't contact you. That we'd only be able to have contact with her if she chose to know us..."

"And Noah had no idea that I was writing you," Rachel interrupted again, suddenly realizing that by breaking the contract she could have gotten Puck into trouble.

"It's okay," Sara Ellison spoke up. She had tears in her eyes as she spoke to the young boy sitting across from her as she held tightly to her husband's hand. "You have to understand that Drake and I tried for years to have children. We realized that it just wasn't going to happen for us naturally so we began looking into adoption. You see, my sister was adopted and I always thought it made her special in a way because she was chosen to be a part of our family." She smiled as she said, "You don't always get to choose your family." Everyone chuckled. "We actually had an adoption arranged about a year ago, but the day the baby was born the young girl decided to keep her child. It was devastating for us."

Drake put a comforting arm across his wife's shoulders as she tried to compose herself. He continued for her, "We were tentative about going through that again. That's why we thought an open adoption would be better. We always had the intention of being honest with our child about how he or she came to be ours, but we felt that perhaps letting the birth parents have the option of communication would make them feel more involved and, perhaps, at ease about the life they were giving to that child."

The silence that followed was broken up by a soft sound that suddenly came from a monitor sitting on a side table. Sara immediately rose from the couch beside her husband and disappeared. In a moment they could hear her soft voice gently speaking to the infant that had just awoken and moments later she was back in the living room with the small bundle in her arms. Puck took in a sharp breath at the sight of her. In the two and a half months since he'd seen his baby girl she had grown. Her hair had lightened slightly and was a little longer now. She was holding her head up even though it was a little wobbly. Sara looked at the young man sitting there and then glanced at her husband. It was as if a wordless conversation passed between the two and she walked over to Puck and asked, "Would you like to hold her?"

"Really?" Puck whispered. He felt completely unsure of himself. Sara nodded and began to hand the little girl to him.

"Just be sure to support her head. She thinks she's stronger than she actually is."

Puck's hands reached around her little chest, her tiny arms fitting perfectly in the hooks of his thumbs as his fingers splayed out behind her tiny head. He looked down into her blue eyes, trying to memorize every contour of the little face that looked up at him. He couldn't help the tears that sprung to his eyes and somehow he didn't feel like less of a man for letting them form there. "Her eyes are blue," he said quietly.

As the resident physician Drake spoke up, "Most babies eyes are blue when they're first born. As they age the color changes. She won't have her true eye color until she's closer to a year old."

Rachel watched in silence as Puck held his little girl for the first time. She could see the love and awe in his face and she was so thankful that she had persisted in trying to find this closure for him. "What's her name?" she asked.

Puck looked up, realizing he hadn't even thought to ask, but anxious for the response. "Abigail," replied Sara lovingly, "Abigail Claire."

"Claire was a family name," replied Drake in a way that made Rachel think perhaps it wasn't from his side of the family.

Puck laid the little girl down on his lap and ran his hand lovingly over the top of her head, fingering her soft hair, as he said with a smile, "Abigail Claire Ellison. I'm Noah Puckerman and I love you very much. So much, in fact, that I wanted to be sure you had the best parents in the world. I'm pretty sure you do, so now I can rest easy, knowing you're in good hands."

Rachel glanced quickly away as she tried to blink away the tears that threatened to fall and swallowed over the lump that had formed in her throat. Just then Abigail let out a small squeal and smiled up at her biological father. A couple minutes later she made a scrunchy face and everyone could hear the soft rumble of her filling her diaper. The look on Puck's face made everyone laugh. "Here, Noah," Sara said as she rose and expertly scooped Abigail into her arms, "I'll go change her and then I'm sure she'll be hungry. Drake could you get a bottle ready and then maybe Noah would like to feed her."

Rachel and Puck stayed at the Ellison's for two hours. Puck fed and burped Abigail. Rachel even held her for a little bit and she had to admit that while children weren't even in her near future, the feel of a baby snuggled up against her was pretty amazing. After Sara had come back from putting Abigail down for her nap Puck and Rachel began to say their goodbyes. Puck shuffled uncomfortably in front of the married couple and then reaching into his pocket he pulled out the white box Rachel had given him. "Somebody that's really important to me told me once that jewelry was more than just a pretty thing to wear. She said it's a memory of that person and it reminds you of how much they care. I was hoping, if you didn't mind, if maybe you could give this to Abigail from me."

Sara looked down in the white cotton and then back up at Puck with tears in her eyes. "Of course we will Noah. And thank you for helping to make our family's miracle happen." The small woman reached forward and gave Puck a quick hug, patting his shoulders in a comforting, motherly way and he smiled as they released each other, an unspoken bond and understanding passing between them.

When they got back into Puck's truck Rachel was a little bit worried. They just sat there. He had put the keys in the ignition, but hadn't started the truck. He just stared down at the steering column. It had been an emotionally exhausting afternoon and while she thought it had been good for Puck, she wasn't sure what this current reaction meant. Finally, she decided to try their game. "What are you thinking?" she asked with a soft smile but concerned eyes.

Puck turned to her at the sound of her voice and immediately answered, "I love you."

The car ride back to Lima was considerably more quiet than the one to Cincinnati. After Rachel's response of "Oh," followed by the look that passed across Puck's face, neither of them had said anything the entire way. A couple times Rachel had opened her mouth to begin a sentence, but Puck had either turned the radio up or feigned supernatural interest in safe driving.

She honestly didn't know why she had responded that way. She truly believed she loved him, but deep down she wasn't sure he truly loved her. She battled with herself the entire drive to her house as she tried to make herself speak up and talk to the silent boy beside her. She had heard those words before and then been incredibly hurt by the reality that words didn't mean anything when they weren't followed up by action. She tried to reason with herself that that was the reason, but Puck had always proven himself to be a person of action and everything they'd been through in the past few months should prove to her that he meant what he said. She couldn't even tell herself why it wasn't enough.

When they pulled up to the curb outside her house Rachel didn't exit. She didn't even reach for the door handle. "Noah," she was finally able to say with tears in her eyes as she tried to control her breathing, "I'm terrified that if I leave this truck without talking about what happened that it will change us forever."

She saw his jaw clench and she knew that meant he was either angry or hurt. She didn't want either one to be true. "It's cool Berry," he finally said and she almost flinched at the use of her last name. He still used it, but usually only when he was teasing her. She had grown accustomed to him using her first name. "It was just a crazy day. I was feeling all emotional and it just came out. It's cool if you're not ready to say it. I wouldn't have said it if you hadn't asked me that question. I was just playing by the rules."

She scooted closer to him in the seat as she pleaded, "Noah, you have to know that I care for you very much."

He looked at her and with pain in his eyes he said, "I know."

"Are we okay?" she asked, her lips quivering with the fear that she would lose him over this. That she had hurt him killed her.

"We're okay," he lied as he leaned in and kissed her, pulling her close to him so he could feel the heat from her body. He needed to remind himself that he was a man and he didn't need all this feelings crap to be with a woman. He just needed her to be willing. Rachel deepened the kiss even though she knew it was a lie. She knew she'd hurt him. She knew it wasn't okay. But she needed him close. She needed the reassurance that he wouldn't leave her, that he still wanted her.

They were so busy lying to each other in the cab of his truck, neither of them noticed the familiar car slow down as it drove past Rachel's house. And they didn't notice the look of shock followed quickly by anger that passed over the driver's face.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I want to apologize in advance to all of the Finn fans, of which I assure you I am one. I really do like Finn and I even like Finn and Rachel together. I just think Puckleberry has more chemistry. For the purposes of this story I have written Finn a little OOC, in this chapter he goes completely off script. So my apologies, but in the lingo of Hollywood writers and producers "it was storyline dictated". Love you all, please enjoy! Also, sorry for the length of time between updates. Anything I said would just be an excuse. :)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

Rachel didn't sleep well that night. She tossed and turned and awoke from nightmares she couldn't quite recall, but that terrified her nonetheless. She felt certain that in a couple of them she had lost her voice and then bad things happened, but she wasn't sure what. She would have called Puck the very next morning, but she knew it was far too early on a Saturday to be calling him. It would just upset him more if she woke him up before 11am on a Saturday morning. So instead she paced and she worried and she replayed those few seconds over and over in her mind as she tried to figure out exactly why she had reacted in such a way. She had come to the conclusion that part of it was that she had never in her life expected those words to come out of Noah Puckerman's mouth. He had caught her off guard with his declaration of love and she had not had a proper response prepared. _The proper response would have been I love you too,_ she berated herself. But even in the privacy of her room she found she couldn't say those words aloud and she wasn't sure why because she knew she felt it.

She loved Noah Puckerman. She loved how protective he was of the people he cared for. She loved the way he tried to prove that he was such a badass to everyone else, but he would have these moments with her where he would show just how warm and tender his heart truly was. She loved his potty mouth and his body and the way he made her feel, like, all the time. Even when he wasn't physically there, the very thought of him could send shivers down her spine. She loved the way he looked at her. _So why can't you just say it?_ She thought as she tossed herself on her bed and pulled a pillow to her chest, wishing it was Noah.

When the doorbell rang a little before 10am she actually let herself believe it was him. She should have known it wasn't because it was far too early for him to be up yet. The smile on her lips disappeared when she saw that it was Finn and not Puck standing on her front steps. "Finn," she said with surprise, "what are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you," the tall boy said as he moved past Rachel and into her living room. She frowned at his back because she hadn't invited him into her home and she really didn't want him there. But Rachel prided herself on always trying to be polite so she didn't tell him to leave. Instead she followed him into the living room and with a jolt realized they were standing in the exact same positions they had when he had delivered the news of his betrayal.

"We'll be back in school in a little over a week. You couldn't wait until then to see me?" she said as she let the anger and hurt seep back into her voice even though she was long over him. _The scar is still there,_ she thought bitterly.

"I actually came to see you yesterday," he said as he turned to face her and she could see anger in his eyes, but couldn't for the life of her figure out what he had to be angry with her about. "Quinn and I broke up," he continued.

"I'm sorry," Rachel replied. And she truly was sorry for the both of them. Breaking up with someone was difficult no matter whose decision it was. Especially when you'd been together for over a year as Finn and Quinn had, well, off and on, but either way it was hard.

"Yeah," he spit out, as if he didn't believe her. "She said she met someone else over the summer. Some lifeguard or something at the community pool. He goes to college in Dayton or something. She said she cared about me and had fun with me, but she just felt a connection with him that she didn't have with me." Rachel remained silent as Finn explained to her the end of a relationship that she really didn't care about and had no interest in anymore.

"As she was telling me all these things I realized it was kind of the same stuff I told you. These last few months I've felt so much guilt over what I did to you. It's weighed on me Rachel, how I hurt you. And when Quinn turned around and did the same thing to me I realized what an ass I'd been and how much I missed having you as my friend." Rachel still didn't say anything. She wasn't sure what to say because she wasn't sure she could be friends with Finn again, but she also wasn't sure where this conversation was going because he still seemed angry.

"So I drove by yesterday to talk to you. To tell you how sorry I was for not going public with our relationship, for cheating on you...for not trusting you around Puck," he almost bit out the last part of that sentence and it caused a pit to form in Rachel's stomach even though she wasn't sure why because she hadn't done anything wrong.

"You can imagine my surprise when I drove up to your house to see the two of you nearly screwing each other in broad daylight!"

Rachel's back immediately became rigid as righteous indignation coursed through her body. "What business is it of yours Finn?" she said loudly.

It was as if he didn't even hear her as he continued, his voice rising with each new accusation. "How long did you wait Rachel? How long before you were in Puck's bed? You do realize he's screwed practically every girl in school and their mother? I thought you were better than that. I thought the two of you were just friends. That's what you kept telling me! You don't have anything to worry about Finn. Noah and I are just friends!"

"We were just friends," she yelled back at him. "We were just friends when you were willing to kiss me as long as no one else knew about it. We were just friends when you told me you loved me and then slept with Quinn. We were just friends when he fixed the heart you left broken." She grew quiet and then choked out, "And now we're not just friends."

"What's that?" Finn asked suddenly.

Rachel was thrown for a moment until she noticed him pointing at the silver bracelet dangling from her wrist. The silver bracelet she'd been fingering as he'd verbally attacked her and she'd fought back. "What does it matter?" she asked him as tears formed in her eyes. Her mind had flown to Puck in the instant she looked down and realized she was playing with the gift he'd given her. The gift he'd given her when she was still with Finn. The gift she'd always worn from the moment he'd handed it to her. She remembered the look in his eyes as he'd placed it on her wrist, the look in his eyes when he'd held her wrist up between them and told her she would never come in second place with him, the look in his eyes as he'd filled her completely with himself as fireworks burst overhead, the look in his eyes when he'd told her he loved her and she couldn't say anything in return. She felt as though her heart were breaking and all she wanted right now was Finn gone and Noah in his place.

"You had that when we were together," he said, interrupting her thoughts, "but not before. Did _he _give it to you?" Finn seethed with jealous rage as he realized how long Rachel had worn that bracelet and how many times he'd seen her playing with it. Every time she'd been thinking of Puck. He'd realized too late what an ass he'd been. That Rachel was a one in a million kind of girl. And he'd hoped that if he could become her friend again that eventually she'd forgive him and take him back, but seeing her yesterday with Puck had snapped something inside of him and he was fairly certain that nothing between the three of them would ever be the same.

He reached forward and grabbed her wrist roughly as he pulled her arm up to view the silver charms more closely. The sun coming through the windows glinted off the silver guitar, treble clef, star, and drama face symbols. "He gave this to you while we were dating, didn't he?" he seethed in front of her and for the first time in Finn Hudson's presence Rachel actually felt fear. "You made me feel like shit for being with Quinn, but you were fucking Puck while we were together!"

"No I wasn't," Rachel adamantly denied as she tried to free her wrist from Finn's grasp. "It was just a gift from a friend, Finn, nothing more. I was completely faithful to you, even when the temptation was there I was faithful to you. Which is a lot more than what you were!"

"You're lying," he yelled as he finally released his grasp.

"No I'm not!" she yelled back at him. "I don't see why any of this even matters anymore. You and I have been over for months. Why do you even care who I'm dating?"

"Dating?" Finn asked as he let out a derisive laugh. "You two are dating about as much as you and I were. Has he taken you anywhere? You know, besides out of town and quiet little places you two can be alone? Because I've actually seen people from school this summer and none of them think Puck has a girlfriend."

Rachel felt her heart clench in her chest at the realization that what he said was true. They had gone places, but always somewhere secluded or out of town. Was he embarrassed by her? Did he not want people to know they were together? She wanted Finn out of her house right now.

"You need to leave," she hissed as she started to turn toward the door. But Finn's hand grabbed her once again and kept her from creating more distance between them.

"You know it don't you, Rachel?" he asked her, venom dripping from his voice as his eyes seemed to turn even more cold. "You know you're just another easy lay for him." He ran his fingers over the bracelet as he said, "Does he leave you money on the table after he fucks you or was this payment in full?"

Tears were flowing freely down Rachel's cheeks when she heard an angry, stern voice behind her say, "I believe my daughter told you to leave." She gasped and turned to see both of her fathers standing in the doorway, having just returned from grocery shopping. Finn released her arm and shook his head as if he were just coming out of a haze. He looked at Rachel with regret, but he didn't apologize as he walked out the door, her daddy shutting it soundly behind him.

"Sweetheart what's going on?" her dad asked gently as he placed a hand on her trembling shoulder. At the kind touch of his hand Rachel dissolved into a crying heap on the couch as her dads tried to comfort her. It was almost thirty minutes later when she was finally calm enough to talk to them. And talk to them, she did. She told them everything, from Finn, to his infidelity and the break-up, to Puck's friendship and later more, to how she was unable to be honest with Noah about how she truly felt and she wasn't sure if it was because she didn't trust him or she didn't trust herself. To their credit her fathers listened with very few questions or interruptions and they handled the knowledge that their baby girl was no longer a virgin admirably, with the only stipulation now being that when Puck was over her bedroom door remained open, but if she needed protection they would make an appointment with her doctor immediately. She assured them she was responsible and had already taken care of all of those matters.

"What about your heart, sweetie?" her daddy asked.

"What do you mean?" she sniffled as she leaned against his shoulder as they all sat together on the couch.

"What are you doing to protect your heart?"

She bit her lower lip as fresh tears welled up in her eyes and she shook her head. "I don't know, Daddy. I think that part might be too late."

Something was wrong. He'd come over to see Rachel and her fathers had invited him to stay for dinner. None of this was unusual. But something was definitely wrong, or at least different. Puck sipped the cola slowly from his glass as he watched the two men. Everything appeared to be normal. They were making conversation, talking about the upcoming school year and their plans to visit Rachel's grandmother in Columbus in a few weeks. And then he noticed it. They were talking, not Rachel. She picked at her plate, barely eating any of her dinner, and had only given short answers to any questions directed her way. Once Puck was able to put his finger on what was disturbing him about this entire evening he was also able to notice the glances her dads kept giving each other. What was going on? "Everything okay, babe?" he asked nonchalantly, trying to keep the mood carefree, since that seemed to be what was on the menu this evening.

Rachel looked up at him as if he'd startled her with his question. "Everything's fine, Noah."

"You haven't said much tonight. That's not like you," he said as he spooned the last bite of garlic mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"I just have a lot on my mind tonight. I mean, we only have one week of summer left and then it's back to school. I have a lot of AP classes this year, plus my duties as Co-Captain of glee club and all the other extracurricular activities I participate in, I'm afraid I may have to drop one. Maybe mock UN." As she spoke she sounded like pure Rachel Berry, but Puck squinted his eyes slightly when he saw the glance she threw her fathers and then the looks they gave each other.

As soon as dinner was done and the plates were cleared he and Rachel headed up to her room. He shut the door as they entered and the first words out of his mouth were, "What the fuck's going on?"

"Noah," Rachel said with an exasperated tone as she reached behind him and reopened the door.

"And what's up with that?" he asked, pointing to the open door. "Is this about yesterday? Did you tell your dads what I said?" he whispered as if he were terrified someone might find out that he'd been the first one to say "I love you" in a relationship.

Rachel sighed in defeat. "I did, but this isn't about yesterday, exactly." She bit her lower lip before she finally said, "My dads know that we're sexually active and they've instituted a new policy that the door stay open during your visits."

"How the hell did they find out about that?" he asked, suddenly terrified they were going to chase him out of the house even though they'd just sat through a very civil dinner with him knowing that he'd been screwing their daughter. "Did you tell them?"

"No I didn't tell them," she hissed back at him, as if that were a completely ludicrous idea and he should be ashamed for even thinking it. He gave her a look that told her he wanted the story and now. She felt as if she were at the end of her emotional rope. After the horrible night she'd had and then the confrontation with Finn and the deep conversation with her fathers she just couldn't handle any more. "They found out when they overheard Finn calling me a whore," she blurted out as tears sprung instantly to her eyes at the words that tumbled from her mouth.

She watched Puck's entire body tighten and she instantly felt regret that she'd said it the way she had. "What?" Puck nearly yelled.

"He saw us together yesterday," Rachel began to tearfully explain, "and I guess he and Quinn broke up and he was feeling lonely and thought maybe we could be friends again. But then he saw us together in your truck and he came over today and accused me of being the first one to cheat. He said he didn't believe me that I hadn't been with you until after we'd broken up and then he saw the bracelet. He realized it was from you and that I'd had it while he and I were together and he just lost it and then my dads walked in and told him to leave. But they'd overheard some of what he said and I had to explain things to them and so, yes, they know, pretty much everything but without the details."

There was a ringing in Puck's ears as he tried to remain calm, but every inch of his being wanted to go find Finn Hudson and beat him within an inch of his life. He stood staring at the carpet, his fists clenched at his sides as he tried to control his breathing. When he looked up and saw Rachel's tear stained face it did nothing to abate the rage within him, but it did help control it enough so that he could walk to her and pull her into his arms. He felt her body go limp against him as she sobbed into his shoulder. "Noah it was so humiliating," she cried as she wrapped her arms around him, so grateful that he was there with her.

"He called you a whore?" he asked against her hair. She shrugged her shoulders and pulled away slightly before answering.

"He didn't actually say the word, but he insinuated that I had received payment for my services in the form of this," she said as she lifted her wrist slightly to refer to the silver charm bracelet. When Puck reached down and gently ran his fingers over the area she tried not to wince, but he saw it. He held her hand and pulled it up to him. The look on his face when he saw finger marks in the form of bruises terrified her.

"He did this to you?" he asked quietly. The control in his voice scared her even more.

"Noah," she pleaded as he began to turn away from her and head to the door.

Puck walked slowly back toward her and taking her face in his hands he kissed her gently on the mouth. "You know it's not like that, right?" he asked her.

"I know," she whispered against his lips as she tried to pull him closer. She didn't want him to leave her sight. But he pulled himself away even as she clung to him and begged, "Noah please don't. Please let it go."

Turning toward her she could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he gritted out through clenched teeth, "No one lays a hand on you, Rachel. No one."

She fell to the floor with tears streaming down her face as she heard the front door shut, followed by the engine of Puck's truck starting up and tires squealing as he peeled away into the night.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Just to reiterate I don't own Glee. But I do love Glee. I love, love, love Glee! Okay, sorry about that. Without further ado here's the second to the last chapter.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

Never in his life had Puck felt such rage. _Who the hell does Finn Hudson think he is? _He hated that he hadn't been there, of course, if he'd been there Finn would have never had the balls to say or do any of the stuff he had. As he drove the streets of Lima searching all of Finn's favorite spots he seethed inside. It pissed him off that Finn had even been in Rachel's living room, let alone that he'd tried to make an innocent gift seem dirty. He gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned white as he thought about the bruises on Rachel's skin. _Finn would have had to really grip her tightly to cause those, _he thought as he let out a frustrated scream and slammed his hand against the steering wheel. When he couldn't find him after an hour he decided that his former best-friend would eventually have to go home, so instead of wasting gas looking for him Puck decided to camp out down the street from the Hudson home and wait for Finn to come to him.

He didn't have to wait long. Soon after he'd parked behind a trailer filled with lawn care equipment he saw Finn's car pass by him and pull into his driveway. He was immediately out of his truck, slamming the door closed behind him as he stalked toward his objective. "Hudson!" he yelled as he crossed the street and stepped into the yard.

Finn spun around to face the young man coming towards him, his body going rigid in response to what he knew was coming. "I was wondering if you were going to come find me."

"You seriously thought you could call Rachel a whore, put bruises on her wrist like that, and I wouldn't come kick your ass?" Puck yelled at him even though at this point they were just inches from each other. He saw regret flash across Finn's face and if he hadn't been so angry he might have felt sorry for him. The guy was obviously having probably the worst year of his life. _Aren't we all_ Puck thought derisively.

"I didn't mean to hurt her and I'm sorry for that," Finn said honestly, "and I didn't call her a whore. I just pointed out to her that she was letting you treat her like one." The flash of movement registered in his brain a split second before lights exploded behind his eyes and a searing pain shot up his jaw and into his head. He tried to swing out and block some of the blows, but Puck was too fast and too experienced for Finn to even stand a chance as he took blow after blow. He felt one lucky punch connect with Puck's face, but that was pretty much all he was able to get in before his mother came running and screaming out onto the lawn.

"Noah Puckerman what are you doing?" Carol Hudson screamed at the boy she had watched grow up with her son who was currently on the grass bleeding from his nose and a split eyebrow. "Honey, come in the house. I'm going to call the police."

Finn rose slowly from the ground, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. He shook his head at his mother as he lifted his head and pinched his nose to try to stem the flow of blood, then sniffled and swiped his arm across his face. "No, Mom," he said, "don't call the police. This is between me and Puck." He eyed the shorter but definitely more muscular boy standing a couple feet away, his own chest heaving from the exertion and probably also from having to control his anger. He saw the blood seeping from a split lip and felt a little pride that he'd actually been able to get a hit in against his attacker. Turning to his mother he could see the concern in her eyes behind the tears streaming down her face. "It's okay Mom. Just go back inside."

"Finn," she said with concern. At the pleading look from her son she glared at Puck and then said, "Okay, but I'm going to be watching from the window and if you lay another finger on my son I will be calling the police." She then turned and walked back inside the house, grabbed the phone from the receiver, and stood watch at the window. She had thought that the two boys would be able to patch things up after the Quinn fiasco, but it appeared that their relationship had deteriorated further than she'd thought. She felt sad for them. Such a shame to lose such a long, important friendship over a girl.

Puck leveled his glare at Finn and said threateningly, "You stay away from Rachel. When school starts up don't bother saying hi to her in the halls. Don't even look her way. As far as glee club is concerned you will do what's assigned and what's necessary because it's important to Rachel, but nothing more. Do you understand?"

Finn swiped at the blood on his face and glared back at Puck. "I understand. I understand that you're exactly like your father, taking things that don't belong to you. Do you enjoy my seconds Puck? Is that what you get off on? Taking what's mine?"

Puck let out a sharp laugh as he shook his head. "If you think throwing in shit about my old man is going to get to me you really are delusional Hudson. I failed math and even I know that in order for _me_ to have taken _your_ seconds then you would have had to be there first. And I know for a fact that I was Rachel's first." He closed the space between them quickly and he got great pleasure out of the flinch Finn was unable to control. "And I didn't take anything that was yours. You tossed Rachel aside like she was garbage. You're the one that didn't appreciate what you had. You're to blame for losing her and no one else. Be a man and take responsibility for your own mistakes. Don't blame me because I saw how special Rachel is and you missed it."

Finn's eyes narrowed at Puck's words. He could recognize the truth in them, but what he also recognized was something he'd never seen in Puck. Finn couldn't believe it. Noah Puckerman was in love with Rachel Berry. He knew any chance he'd ever had with Rachel was over the moment he'd grabbed her in anger and any friendship he'd shared with Puck was gone in the same instant. It felt extremely unfair that Puck should be the one that ended up with Rachel. _Time for some payback Puckerman,_ he thought to himself. "You may have had sex with her first, but she loved me first." _That's it_, he thought as he saw the flash of jealousy in Puck's eyes.

"Has she said it yet, Puck?" he taunted. "Has she said she loves you? Let me tell you, hearing those words come out of that perfect mouth, with her eyes all bright and the biggest smile in the world on her face, you'd think you'd died and gone to heaven just to hear those three little words spoken to you from that girl." He could see the effect his words were having and he let a smirk play across his face as he continued. "I'd only been seeing her a month when she told me. You two have been seeing each other longer than that. Three or four months now, depending on if I believe that you waited until Rachel and I broke up, which I don't. So you know, right Puck? You know what it feels like to hear her say those words. To hear her tell you how much she loves you, how you're the only one she wants?"

Even as Finn dropped to the ground with the wind knocked out of him he smiled in triumph because he knew he'd gotten to Puck. He could see it in his eyes. "Stay the fuck away from Rachel or I'll end you," Puck said angrily as he turned to leave the Hudson property.

"You're going to break her heart," Finn gasped as he tried to catch his breath. "You know that don't you, Puck? You may have been able to resist all the cougars throwing themselves at you through the summer, but when school starts next week you're gonna have Cheerios and virginal freshmen to try to resist. There's no way you stay faithful to her Puck. You're going to hurt her more than I ever did." He saw Puck's step falter and he knew his words had been heard even as Puck climbed into his truck, slammed the door, and squealed his tires in his hurry to leave a 15 year friendship lying in the bloodied grass of the lawn where he'd spent most of his childhood.

(*****************************)

Another fitful night with very little sleep left Rachel feeling completely worn out. She hadn't heard from Puck since he'd left her house the night before even though she'd been texting him almost every hour since she'd woken up that morning. She was worried about him. She had seen the look in his eyes when he saw the bruises that were already fading this morning and she was terrified that he would do something he'd regret. Something that would put him in jail or alter his life in some irrevocable way. When she heard the doorbell she nearly catapulted down the stairs to reach the door, praying it was him.

She opened the door to see a very disheveled Puck standing before her. It was obvious he'd been up all night because he was unshaven and still wearing the clothes he'd had on the last time she'd seen him. The only difference was a bruised, swollen, and split lip that still had dried blood caked on it. His knuckles were scraped and bloody, too. "Noah," Rachel breathed as she moved to let him into the house, "I've been so worried." She reached out to gently brush her fingers along his jaw. "What happened?"

"Finn won't be bothering you again," he replied gruffly.

"Where have you been Noah? Did you even go to sleep?" she asked with concern.

"I needed to think," he said simply and she realized he wasn't going to offer any other explanation.

She sighed, her annoyance with his unwillingness to communicate coming through in her gestures and the look on her face. "Well I'm assuming that since you're not in jail right now that Finn is still alive."

"Why are you so worried about Finn?" he asked angrily.

She looked at him with hurt and confusion. "I'm not worried about Finn. I was worried about you. I could hardly sleep last night I was so scared you would do something you'd regret. Something that would ruin any chance you had at a decent future." She stood staring at him for a moment, trying to read his eyes, but all she could see was the wall he'd put up. "What happened Noah? Why are you acting like this?" she pleaded with him.

"When did you tell Finn you loved him?" he asked quietly.

Rachel closed her eyes and breathed in deeply at his question. She could tell immediately from the way he asked it that he already knew the answer. She bit the inside of her lip as tears sprung to her eyes even though she didn't know why. Nothing had happened. _Yet_ she thought. "Why does that even matter?" she asked him.

"Just tell me," he said sharply, "how long were you dating him before you told him you loved him?"

"A month," she said quietly. She watched Puck's shoulders sag and continued hurriedly, "But it wasn't really dating and you know it. You had a front row seat to how all of that turned out. I don't know what happened between you two last night or what he said, but you can't compare what we have to what I had with Finn."

"I know I don't compare to Finn," he growled, his jaw clenched so tightly he thought he might break his teeth. "You made that perfectly clear the other day and I should have taken the hint then. This whole summer has just been you trying to get over him and I was okay with that, but I'm not going back to school as a replacement for Finn Hudson."

"What are you talking about?" Rachel asked in confusion. She was over tired and her brain function was slow. Desperation filled her voice as she asked, "Wait. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying this never could have worked anyway Berry. I'm saying we might as well end it now so we don't have to deal with the drama at school." He had to admit to himself that while it hurt to say these things, it hurt worse to see the look of pain and confusion in Rachel's eyes. He'd spent the entire night driving the empty streets of Lima until he'd finally ended up out at the lake. The lake he now thought of as _their_ lake. He'd sat at the edge of the dock and stared into the water, remembering the way her skin had glowed in the moonlight and how her body had felt underneath him. Remembering the way she'd looked at him, so trusting. But still there was that small part she'd held back and he'd known in that instant that he could break Rachel Berry just by being himself. By falling into his old routine. And it terrified him because he'd been honest when he'd said those words to her in Cincinnati. He truly loved her, but he loved her the way she was. All fire and determination and confidence and there was no way in hell he would let himself be the one to destroy her.

Before he realized what was happening she'd crossed the room and he felt the sharp sting across his cheek as her hand slapped his face with such force he actually had to take a step back. "How dare you!" she cried as tears streamed down her face. "How dare you diminish this summer and what it meant to me. It never had anything to do with Finn. If you're going to break up with me days before we go back to school at least be honest about the reasons. You're embarrassed by me. You're so concerned about your reputation that even the idea of people knowing that you went slumming with me makes you turn and run."

"That's not true!" he answered back angrily. "I'm a bad ass. I don't care what anyone thinks about me as long as they're afraid of me. The fact is Berry you want me to be someone I'm not. You want me to be this perfect boyfriend that takes you to musicals and hangs on your every word. I'm not that guy."

"When have I ever asked you to take me to a musical!" she cried out frustratedly.

Puck was silent as he tried to bring his thoughts back together. It was true. She'd never asked anything of him. She'd never asked for him to change, for him to be a better man. He'd done it all on his own because for her he wanted to be those things. But she'd never asked for it. He knew if he was going to carry through with his plan he would need to leave her house immediately. Just looking in her dark brown eyes swimming with tears was killing him and all he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms and tell her he was sorry and he didn't mean a word of it. But what he kept hearing were Finn's taunting words. _You're just like your father. There's no way you stay faithful to her. You're going to hurt her more than I ever did._

"That's not the point," he said gruffly as he walked past her toward the door. "The point is Berry, I'm not that guy. You want a leading man and I'm not him. I can't be him. We both should have known this was over before it even started." As his hand turned the doorknob and he pulled her front door open he felt the heat from outside slam into his body as it seemed to sap the last of his strength. He paused when he heard her soft voice pleading with him.

"But you said you loved me," she nearly whispered as she tried to bring her tears back under control.

He focused his gaze on his truck parked at the curb as he said, "Yeah, well, we can chalk that one up as another mistake in a long line of them." He forced himself to pull the door shut behind him as he crossed her lawn in a trance, climbed into his truck, and drove around the block. As soon as he was out of sight of her house he pulled over as waves of heartache tore through his body and angry tears escaped his eyes. He slammed his open palm against the steering wheel and then took a deep breath as he tried to calm down.

He had convinced himself that breaking up with her was for the best. He had never stayed faithful to any girl, not even the ones that thought they were his girlfriend. Finn had been right. It was easy to say no to a cougar when he had someone like Rachel to be with, but once school started it would be different. He knew all too well the kind of pull sixteen year old girls in cheerleader uniforms had. It was better to end it now rather than betray her the way Finn had.

Rachel had stood in the living room just staring at the closed door for a long time. Her tears had dried up and still she stood there as his words sunk in and she tried to make sense of it all. Noah had broken up with her because he thought she still had feelings for Finn, but he wouldn't listen when she insisted she didn't. _It's because you didn't tell him you loved him too_ she thought to herself as she felt her heart clench tightly in her chest. Slowly she climbed the stairs to her room, her mind reeling and her body feeling as if it were moving through thick syrup, she crawled into her bed and cried herself into a deep long awaited sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: I felt bad leaving everyone hanging with the last chapter, so here's the final chapter, it is the longest and I hope you all like it. Once again, I do not own Glee.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

Rachel methodically packed her pink bag, years of practice making it possible to do so by muscle memory, freeing her mind to wander over the last week. She told her fathers she wasn't feeling well, but after nearly two days in bed she had to force herself to move in order to avoid the visit to the doctor they kept threatening her with. When Puck had refused to take any of her calls and failed to respond to any of her text messages she had gone to his house only to find out that he had left town. His mother said he'd gone to Cleveland to see his grandfather before school started and the missing truck in the driveway assured Rachel that his mother wasn't helping him avoid her.

The uncertainty of how this year, let alone this day, would go had caused a small pit of worry to sit in her stomach. Even though by the end of last year she had hardly needed much of anything from her bag she still packed the same things, needing the security of being prepared for at least some things. Zipping it closed she placed it by the door and walked back to her vanity where she gave herself one last glance over to make sure everything was in place. She had gone with a crimson button-up blouse and a pleated black skirt with a pair of matching 2-inch heels. Puck had always liked her in red. With an unsteady calming breath she nervously straightened her skirt, checked her notebook for the twentieth time to be certain the letter she had written him was still there, and picking up her notebooks she walked toward the door.

At the door she paused as if unsure of herself. With a sigh she walked back to the vanity and reached into her jewelry box, pulling out the silver charm bracelet she had been determined to leave behind. She fingered the tiny guitar and bit her lip in indecision. He broke up with her and had refused all of her efforts to speak to him, but still she couldn't let it go so easily. That's why she had written the letter. She would arrive early at school, as was her custom, and slip the letter in his locker. Thankfully they had already discussed their new locker assignments before the break up so she knew which one was his. She had decided that if he didn't respond to the letter she would let it go. She would let him go. With a sudden motion she put the bracelet on her wrist, locked the clasp, grabbed her bag and headed with determination and uneasiness toward her first day as a junior at William McKinley High.

(***********************)

"Noah! You're going to be late for the first day of school!" Puck groaned loudly as his mother's voice invaded his sleep. Rolling over in his bed he slowly opened his eyes until he could focus on the ceiling above him. With a heavy resigned sigh he threw the covers off, put on a pair of boxers and made his way to the bathroom. He'd only been back from Cleveland for a day and he was exhausted, although not from the trip.

Every night since he'd broken up with Rachel had been an experience in some new kind of torture. He'd never really suffered from nightmares before but now they plagued him. Every night it was the same thing. They always started with Rachel and he was happy. She was amazing in his dreams and what made it worse was the knowledge that she was just as amazing in his waking life. But they all ended the same way. As soon as he would find his release in her she would morph into someone else. Sometimes it was Santana or Brittany. Sometimes it was some random girl he'd screwed from school. He'd try to stop but it was always too late and he would watch Rachel walk out the door as he had sex with some random girl. He'd had the dream again last night so needless to say he was tired as he stood in the shower and let the hot stream wash the sick feeling away.

By the time he got out of the shower he was running even further behind. He quickly pulled on a pair of dark jeans and grabbed a white t-shirt, pulling it over his head as he ran down the stairs. As he drove toward McKinley High to repeat his junior year his mind wandered to the last week he'd spent in Cleveland with his grandpa. He chuckled softly to himself as he thought about the older man. He had to give the old man credit. He'd suffered a pretty bad stroke, but he still hit on the nurse that came to check on him and gave the physical therapist hell even as he pushed through the exercises in his effort to regain full mobility. His mind was still as sharp as ever and it hadn't taken him long to realize there was more than one reason his grandson had chosen to visit him, especially when Puck finally turned his phone off after the twentieth unanswered beep.

"What's her name?" he'd asked him gruffly as he turned the pages of the paper with his good hand.

"Huh?" Puck asked distractedly.

"The girl that keeps trying to get a hold of you. The one you're running from. What's her name?"

Puck was quiet for a moment as he tried to rein in his emotions. He didn't think he was running from her. He just knew he wasn't strong enough to stand by his decision if he didn't put some space between them. But the way Gramps had worded it made him feel even more like his own father than he already did, and that just made him feel even more depressed. "Rachel," he answered quietly. "Her name's Rachel, but we broke up."

"Hmm," the gray haired man grunted from his recliner as if he really didn't care, he was just trying to make conversation. He waited to see if Puck would share any more information on his own, but when the young man remained silent he closed the paper in his lap and turned his own set of clear hazel eyes on him. "What are you thinking?"

Puck responded immediately, "I think I'm exactly like my father. I think I screw anything that moves, I take what I want without thinking of others or the consequences and when things get too hard, I leave."

"You listen to me Noah Puckerman. You are nothing like that man. Now I've tried to never say anything against him because he's your father and nobody wants to hear bad things about their mom or dad, but that good for nothing piece of shit that married my daughter doesn't deserve to be spoken well of and you, son, don't deserve to think you got anything from him except your jawline. He was horrible to your mother. Treated her like she was his slave, cheated on her, and expected her to just keep taking him back until he just never asked to come back. Now did you cheat on this Rachel girl?" he asked as he tried to bring his voice back to a calm he didn't feel.

"No," Puck whispered. He'd never seen such fire come from his grandfather, especially in regard to his dad. "But I'm afraid I will."

His grandfather sat quietly breathing in the chair for a moment as he considered what his grandson had just said. "So you love her." It wasn't a question. He stated it as fact. Puck just nodded in response. "And you're afraid that because you've never been in a committed relationship, but have had your fun and run with whoever you wanted that you won't be able to stay faithful to her," the wise old man concluded.

"She's been hurt before," Puck responded. He'd grown accustomed over the years to his grandfather being able to read him so it didn't really surprise him that he'd put it all together so quickly. "That's actually kind of how we ended up together. We were just friends for a while and then the guy she was dating cheated on her and I helped her through it. And she helped me through the adoption stuff. And we just kind of fell together." Puck paused as he tried to gather his thoughts. He desperately wanted to forget the words Finn had thrown at him. He wanted to believe that he could resist the temptations for Rachel. He wanted to believe that she loved him even if she hadn't said the words. "I told her I loved her and she didn't say it back. Then I was reminded that I didn't have a lot of temptations thrown my way this summer, but when school starts back up they'll be all over the place. So I thought I should just end it now. You know, before she actually does love me, if she ever could, and before I break her heart by being my father."

"Preemptive strike," the old man mumbled as he ruffled the paper in his lap. The two of them sat quietly together for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. One troubled by fear of what he'd do and regrets over what he'd already done, the other with years of experience turned into wisdom that he hoped to use to help his grandson make good life choices while he was still around to give advice.

"Did I ever tell you about my very first fire?" he suddenly asked. Puck just looked at him as he mentally wondered if losing track of a conversation was a symptom of the stroke. "Boy it was a big one," the older man continued as his gaze seemed to travel to some far off distance as memories flooded in. "I'd been assigned to the 55 just out of training and we covered a large portion of the industrial sector here in the city. When that alarm went off I can't even describe to you the amount of adrenaline coursing through my body." He smiled to himself at the remembrance of feeling so young and full of life.

"I grabbed my gear and hopped on that truck so fast I was one of the first ones ready to go. It was some kind of printing factory and when we got there she was fully engulfed. Chief had me take the lead on the hose going in. The heat and smoke was so intense. I couldn't see more than a couple feet in front of me. Even with my gear on it felt like I'd just walked into hell. I went after that fire exactly how I'd been trained and about ten minutes in I started feeling dizzy. Next thing I know I'm outside on a gurney and the EMT's are pumping oxygen into my lungs. I couldn't figure out what had happened," he sighed as he remembered the disappointment he'd felt over letting his fellow firefighters down. "Later I discovered that I'd passed out because I wasn't getting any oxygen through my breathing apparatus because I'd forgotten to check the levels before I started my shift that night. After that there wasn't a single shift I worked that I didn't continually test all my equipment to make sure none of it was going to fail me when I needed it most." He looked knowingly at Puck, hoping the younger man would get the sense of what he was saying. It was painfully obvious that he didn't.

"That sounds pretty scary, Gramps," Puck said as he tried to keep up with the man's train of thought.

With a heavy sigh his grandfather said, "Sometimes when you get burned in a situation you have to test things out before heading back into that same situation. Maybe that's how this Rachel girl feels. You say she was cheated on. Well, maybe she needs to test the situation out before she feels safe enough to put herself back into the same place she was when she was hurt by this other guy. Maybe instead of making choices for her and then running away and avoiding her, you should stick it out and prove to her that you're not the guy that's going to fail her when she needs you most."

Even though he was late Puck sat in his truck for a while after he pulled into the McKinley parking lot and thought about the week he'd spent...well, Rachel would call it soul searching, he smiled to himself. Gramps had been right. He couldn't believe he'd let Finn push his buttons like that. He couldn't wait to see Rachel and tell her he was sorry and he hadn't meant it. He just hoped she'd be able to forgive him after a week of silence on his part.

(********************)

After she had slipped the note through the slats in his locker Rachel had tried to stay busy organizing her own locker and mapping the quickest ways to get to her classes and avoid Finn and Jacob as much as possible, but she had found it very difficult to concentrate. Even now she lingered around the corner just down the hall from Puck's locker. She kept imagining what would happen when he got there. He would open his locker and immediately notice the piece of pink stationary neatly folded on the tin floor. He'd pick it up and look around quizzically wondering who had left it there, if perhaps it was the previous locker owner's property that they had left behind. Then he would open it and read it and he would smile and turn around. That's when she would make her presence known. She would step out and they would lock eyes and he would walk to her and tell her he understood and he was sorry. She would apologize also because it was only the proper thing to do and it would equalize their relationship if she admitted it was possible she'd made a mistake. Then he would kiss her. Right there. In the middle of the hallway. In front of everyone.

Except it didn't happen that way. She waited and he never came to his locker. She watched the clock draw closer to the beginning of first period and still no Puck. It was only when the warning bell sounded that she forced herself to begin heading toward her Visual Communications class. She tried not to feel disappointed. Perhaps he was still in Cleveland. He had never shown much interest in regular school attendance and although he had expressed interest in changing those habits she knew that old habits were hard to break. With a determination all her own she decided to focus on class for the next 45 minutes. Eventually she would see him, at least at glee he couldn't avoid her forever.

(********************)

Puck heard the warning bell as he pulled the main doors open and walked toward his locker. _Great_, he thought, _what a wonderful way to start a new year_. He was serious about making better choices this year. He didn't want to become his father and he knew now that he had a choice. He could still be himself, just a better version of himself. He was halfway to his locker when he felt a small feminine hand grasp his own and pull him quickly into a supply closet. It was dark in the closet but he could sense the size of the person that had grabbed him and judging from her perfume she was of the female persuasion. A grin spread across his face in the pitch blackness as the idea of Rachel being so adventurous and forward instantly turned him on. "Hey babe," he whispered just before her lips met his own.

He instantly realized his mistake. This was definitely not Rachel. For one thing she was about five inches too tall, but the main give away was that she didn't kiss like Rachel and she certainly didn't taste like her. Puck had grown to love the vanilla berry lip gloss Rachel preferred and as he tasted spearmint he suddenly recognized his attacker. Pushing her away he groped in the dark for the light switch and flipped it on, illuminating the room in such a violent cascade of light that they both stood there blinking for a moment as their eyes adjusted so they could see.

"What the hell Puck!" the dark haired girl hissed at him.

"I could say the same thing to you Santana," Puck replied. "What do you think you're doing just grabbing me like that?"

"Are you serious? Have you been body snatched or something," the cheerleader questioned. She quickly regained her composure and remembered what her goal had been when she'd pulled him in here. "I haven't seen you all summer Puck," she continued in a voice that sounded like sex and velvet, "I missed you and I thought we could maybe start the year off with a bang." She kissed him hard without warning as she rubbed her hand softly against the zipper of his jeans.

Puck pushed her back again. "This isn't happening Santana," he said firmly as he gripped her wrist to keep her from attempting to touch him again. The realization of what he was doing hit him like a ton of bricks. He'd been worried he wouldn't be able to resist, but here was the greatest temptation of all right in front of him and it wasn't a matter of resisting. He didn't want her. He only wanted Rachel. He _loved _Rachel. Then he had the absolute worst reaction possible. He started laughing. Really laughing. The sudden relief he felt at knowing that he could stay faithful, that he wouldn't hurt Rachel like that, filled him with such relief and happiness that he couldn't stop laughing.

"What the fuck are you laughing about?" she yelled at him angrily. "Did you get castrated this summer or something? Everyone's going to hear about this Puck. You're not going to get play from a single Cheerio after this, you hear me?"

He laughed even harder at this because he knew that no one would ever know about this moment. Santana wouldn't want anyone knowing that she had been turned down after literally throwing herself at someone she used to screw on a regular basis. "You and I both know you're not telling anyone anything," he chuckled as he tried to contain his laughter. "Just go find a new play thing San, I'm sure Brittany's up for some fun."

With that comment Santana grabbed the handle of the closet and stormed out into the now deserted hallway, practically slamming the door in Puck's face. He caught it before it hit him and still smiling and laughing softly to himself he exited into the hallway. When he turned the smile dropped instantly from his face at the sight of pure devastation in Rachel's eyes. "No," he whispered as his chest tightened with the knowledge that she had just watched he and Santana exit from the same supply closet.

(****************************)

They weren't in class for five minutes before Mr. Hartley realized he'd miscounted how many video cameras he would need for his communications class. Rachel had immediately volunteered to go to the A/V room and retrieve what was needed. She knew it was important to make a good first impression by showing that she could be helpful and was willing to do menial tasks. She had fought with Mr. Figgins to get into this class and she was going to take full advantage of every moment she had in it. While she planned on being in front of the camera she knew it was important to have a well rounded knowledge of the industry as a whole and working behind the camera would give her perspective. Also she knew that Mr. Hartley liked to focus on how television had changed the way news is delivered to the public and the class would provide her with something to draw on if she ever needed to play a young Christiane Amanpour in a biopic.

Rachel was thinking about all of this on her way back to class with the camera in her hand when she saw a door fly open to her left and Santana Lopez hurry out and move quickly in the other direction. Her heart froze when she saw Puck exit from the same door seconds later with a huge smile on his face. Her mind was screaming at her to run. _Don't let him see you! Don't let him see how much this hurts!_ But her feet wouldn't move and she stood there as her mind filled in the blanks of what she'd just seen with an image of what she hadn't seen. That's when Puck looked up and they locked eyes and it wasn't the way she'd imagined. It was far worse than anything she could have imagined.

Finally her legs worked and she turned and fled down the hall as quickly as possible. "Rachel wait!" she heard him call behind her but she didn't stop. She couldn't stop because now that she was finally moving she knew she needed to keep moving. If she stopped she would fall apart right there. "It's not what you think," Puck said as he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop and forcing her to turn around and face him.

"Really Puck!" she cried out as she stood facing him, her body trembling with the effort to keep some semblance of control. She couldn't fall apart in front of him. "Because I'm thinking I am such a fool. I'm a fool for trusting you, for thinking that you had changed at all this summer. I'm a fool because even after you broke up with me I refused to believe it was for the reasons you said. As if you could ever think you weren't good enough for someone. You, Puck, think that you're God's gift to women. So go ahead! Feel free to spread that gift to every single girl you meet." She turned to go again and he tried to speak, to stop her, "Rachel, wait."

She turned with tears welling in her eyes and the hurt he saw there tore his heart out. "You didn't have to do it this way," she whispered as she tried to hold back the choking sobs that were threatening to break free. "You didn't have to respond to my letter like this. You could have just said no and I would have left you alone." With that she turned and disappeared into one of the girl's restrooms.

Puck stood in the wake of the devastation he'd caused and let his body soak in the hurt he could still feel emanating from her. _You should just let it go,_ he thought to himself. _You should let her think what she wants and end this now. It would be what's best for her even if it's not what you want._ Two things were disturbing him as he wandered slowly toward his locker. One, he had no idea what letter she'd referred to and two, she hadn't called him Noah once. When he opened his locker he noticed a small piece of pink stationary neatly folded on the metal floor. Reaching down he picked it up and as he read it he finally understood what Rachel had been talking about when she mentioned her letter.

_Dearest Noah,_

_I wish I could tell you all of this in person, but you're currently in Cleveland and you refuse to take any of my calls. I'm going to choose to believe that you've gone simply to visit your grandfather and not to avoid me, although I believe it was probably a mixture of both. I keep replaying the last time we saw each other as if it's a movie in my head, just trying to make sense of it. I was over-tired and over-stressed and anything I said to hurt you I sincerely apologize for. Please know that not a moment has gone by that I haven't been thinking of you and how much and how deeply I care for you._

_I believe my inability to say those three words that you were willing to tell me, but I just couldn't say in return perhaps hurt you more than you revealed. You need to know that even though I'm unable to speak those words to you right now it doesn't mean I don't already feel them toward you. I believe that what happened with Finn last year effected me more than I realized. I've had a lot of time to think about everything this week and I realize now that it wasn't his betrayal that scarred me the worst. It was the way he treated me when we were together. Noah, he said those words too. He told me he loved me and he kissed me as if he meant it, so much so that I believed it. But he didn't truly love me because he kept me in the shadows. He didn't want anyone else to know that he was with me and that should have shown me that it was all a lie, but I was too blinded by inexperience and my own feelings._

_I can't be blinded like that again Noah. My heart can't take that kind of hurt again. I don't believe that this was intentional, but no one knows we were together either. We spent the entire summer wrapped up in each other and when we went out together in public it was always out of town or where we could be alone. Please don't misunderstand me. I loved our time together and there's nothing I enjoy more than being alone with you, except perhaps performing in front of a live audience, but it's a different feeling entirely. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I'm scared and I just need some time. Just a little time to test this relationship and make certain that you truly mean the words you were willing to say. That you love me enough to love me in public. Because whether I say them or not, I already feel them, Noah, and you walking out that door and avoiding me has already broken my heart. Please heal it again by giving us another chance. Please give me another chance._

_Waiting for your response with all my heart,_

_Rachel_

"Shit," he said as he finished the letter. Looking up and down the empty hallway he felt like a complete douche. Sure he hadn't done anything with Santana and he had nothing to do with being with her in that closet. But if he hadn't broken up with Rachel, no matter how noble his intentions, then they would have walked into school together, as a couple, and none of this would have happened. "Shit!" he yelled again as he threw the piece of paper in his locker and slammed the door loudly. If he was going to fix this, if he truly wanted to be with Rachel, he was going to have to humiliate himself in order to do it now.

(*****************************)

Rachel sat quietly in the front row of the bleachers in the choir room as the rest of the club slowly trickled in at the end of the school day. She sat off to the side knowing that no one would actually choose to sit beside her and she was grateful for that today. She had spent most of first period sobbing in one of the locked stalls in the girl's bathroom. She was finally able to pull herself together and make it back to class where she mumbled some excuse about getting locked in the A/V room and having to wait for a janitor to come get her. The entire day had been excruciating. At every turn she seemed to run into either Finn or Puck. Finn's face still sported bruises that were a sickly hue of yellow and green. She couldn't help but feel some little bit of doubt about what she had seen between Puck and Santana. After all how could he be willing to mete out that kind of punishment in her defense if he was just going to dump her anyway.

But every time she saw Santana or Puck it brought fresh pain to the surface and she couldn't think clearly. She could only feel the worst pain she'd ever felt in her life. She had hidden during lunch because she saw Puck looking for her and she didn't want to hear anymore of his excuses. He'd tried to tell her between third and fourth period that nothing had happened and what she had seen was him telling Santana that he didn't want to be with her ever again. He claimed he hadn't seen her letter until after the closet incident and that he was sorry. She just wasn't ready to hear it yet.

Now she sat in what should have been her favorite room about to participate in one of her favorite activities, but she was absolutely miserable. Here she couldn't avoid the people who had hurt her so much. Here she had to sing with them and dance with them. Here she had to prove she was the best actress ever and truly worthy of Oscar's and Tony's and Emmy's. Because here she had to act as though she were fine and her heart hadn't been torn from her chest and stomped on repeatedly.

"Hey guys," Mr. Schuester said with a huge smile as he entered the room, "I hope you all had an excellent summer. I know I did. Now I know I told you all to take a rest for the summer, but I was wondering if anyone had any creative ideas they'd like to share to get us started in preparing for sectionals." He waited and looked around the room expectantly as no one said anything. He looked toward Rachel, his go-to creativity girl. Whenever he was running low on ideas he could always count on her to say something to either get every one fired up or fighting. Either way it sparked creativity. "Rachel?" he prompted, but she just looked at him with sad eyes and didn't say anything.

"Mr. Schue can I say something?"

All eyes swung toward Puck as he entered the room late. He walked into the room with an air of confidence, but as he stood in front of the shiny black piano and faced the rest of the club that confidence seemed to dissipate and he unconsciously slipped his hands into his pockets.

Mr. Schuester smiled as he moved to the side to give Puck the floor. It wasn't exactly the student he'd been expecting, but it would work. "Go ahead Puck," he said.

Puck cleared his throat and cast his gaze to the floor. He couldn't believe he was about to do this, but at this point he figured it was the only thing he had left to try to make her listen, to make her see that he was sorry. For a split second he almost chickened out. He could feel everyone looking at him expectantly, but more than all their stares, he felt her brown eyes searing into him and he made the mistake of looking up. Their eyes locked for a moment before she looked down at the much more interesting piece of lint she started picking off of her skirt, but in that moment Puck was reminded of the hurt she was feeling and he couldn't bear that he had caused it.

With a deep breath he began. "So you all know that last year was pretty horrible for me. And you'd think it was because I lost my oldest and best friend because I knocked up his girlfriend and now I have a daughter being raised by strangers about an hours drive from me, but you'd be wrong. It was horrible because I finally saw myself and what I was becoming. A jerk that tossed people into dumpsters," he glanced at Kurt, "and threw slushies in people's faces," he looked at Rachel. "This summer I got the chance to try to be the man that I want to become, someone better than who I was. But the closer I got to school starting back up the more scared I got that I wasn't the guy I wanted to be. That maybe it was all an act and as soon as I was back here I'd revert to who I was, to that jerk I didn't really want to be."

He paused and looked at Rachel who was now giving him her full attention. "Mr. Schue, last year when you were teaching us about mash ups you said that sometimes two songs that don't seem to go together or to have anything in common, when put together can be more amazing than you'd imagine."

Mr. Schuester smiled, "Yeah, I said something like that."

Puck swallowed hard and forced himself to look directly at Rachel as he said, "I think people can be like that too. Rachel, I'm sorry I hurt you, but I need you to know that I'm telling you the truth when I say that nothing happened this morning. I swear on Abigail's life that I've been faithful to you." There was a collective gasp as most of the glee clubbers looked from Puck to Rachel, who now couldn't keep the tears flowing down her cheeks in check.

"When did this happen?" Mercedes whispered to Kurt who was sitting next to her. Finn just looked at the floor clenching his jaw and working his hand into and out of a fist as he tried to control his anger. Santana blurted, "You have got to be kidding me!" Puck ignored all of them and just kept looking at Rachel. She was the only one he cared about, the only opinion that mattered was hers.

"I told you that I couldn't be your leading man; that I'm not that guy," he continued. And even though he was standing in front of twelve other people it was as if they were the only two people in the world as he spoke to her. "You said you never asked for me to be that and it's true, you never did. But Rach, you deserve that. You deserve so much and I'm going to do everything within my power to give you what you deserve. The thing is, Rachel, that guy, he almost always screws up. He does something or doesn't do something and the girl's all mad and won't forgive him until he makes a grand gesture to prove that what he says is true." As he said this he picked up one of the guitars from the corner and slung it over his shoulder. "Here's my grand gesture to prove to you that Broadway and rock and roll can be a killer combination," he said as he began to slowly strum.

Rachel immediately recognized it as the song he'd been playing pretty much all summer. And as he started to sing she realized she should have known the song all along. It was "Nothing's Gonna Hurt You" from Sweeney Todd, but he'd altered it slightly here and there. Instantly she was transported in her mind to the safety of his arms as they'd lain on her bed together. His promise that he wouldn't let anyone hurt her. She thought her heart may burst at the swell of love she suddenly felt for the young man singing his own heart out in front of everyone just to win her back.

_Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around_

_Nothing's gonna harm you, no babe, not while I'm around._

_Demons are prowling everywhere, now a days,_

_I'll send 'em howling, I don't care._

_I've got ways..._

As he drew out the last verse the chords he was playing changed slightly as he seamlessly blended into a different song and Rachel could no longer hold back the adoring smile that spread across her face as he sang directly to her.

_Cause she's got a way about her_

_I don't know what it is but I know that I can't live without her_

_She's got a way of pleasin'_

_I don't know why it is but there doesn't have to be a reason anywhere_

Rachel barely stifled a laugh as he cocked his eyebrow at her suggestively at the pleasing verse.

_She's got a smile that heals me  
I don't know what it is  
But I have to laugh when she reveals me  
She's got a way of talkin'  
I don't know why it is  
But it lifts me up when we are walkin' anywhere_

She comes to me when I'm feelin' down  
Inspires me without a sound  
She touches me and I get turned around  
She's got a way of showin'  
How I make her feel  
And I find the strength to keep on goin'  
She's got a light around her  
And ev'rywhere she goes a million  
Dreams of love surround her ev'rewhere

_No one's gonna hurt you, not while I'm around._

As he tapered off the last stanza and let the last chord hover in the air he slowly removed the guitar and set it down. The entire room was stunned into silence over what they'd just seen and Mr. Schuester began to clap and rise from his seat to take back control of the room. "Well, Puck that was an excellent mash up and I think we all appreciate that it takes a lot of courage to express yourself in song," he began, but before he could even finish everything he was going to say Rachel was out of her seat and crossing the room.

She stood in front of him with wet eyes, but her tears were gone from her face. A huge smile had replaced them and Puck could tell from the look in her eyes that she was totally turned on right now. He couldn't contain the slow sexy smirk that spread across his own face as he looked down at her. "I'm ready for my critique," he said jokingly.

"It was amazing." Her voice was barely above a whisper, but everyone in the room was so quiet it could clearly be heard. "You are amazing and I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry I let my hurt feelings get in the way of giving you the chance to explain. This," she said as she bit her lower lip to try to find the words to express how she felt about him after his performance. After he declared his love for her in front of the entire club, which for her pretty much made up her entire social circle. "Noah, I love you," she finally said.

He knew he'd wanted to hear her say the words, but he hadn't really expected her to say them right now. And he definitely didn't expect the effect hearing them would have on him. He'd never felt so good or so much love for anyone except his daughter. "I love you too, Rach," he whispered as he leaned down and gently kissed the girl he'd missed being apart from so desperately. She grazed her tongue across his lips and he immediately responded in kind as his hands grasped her waste and pulled her close to him. They were lost in each other and would have stayed that way if Mr. Schuester hadn't coughed to get their attention. Reluctantly Puck pulled away.

"Well, guys, um," Mr. Schuester stuttered with embarrassment, "I guess congratulations and everything. Why don't you both take your seats and we can brainstorm some ideas for sectionals together," he said in an effort to get glee practice back on track and lower the amount of hormones currently stirring in the small room.

"Mr. Schuester," Rachel said quickly, raising her hand even as she spoke.

"Yes, Rachel."

"I actually spent a great portion of the summer thinking about ideas for our upcoming competitions and I have all of them written down. Unfortunately," she continued as she slipped her hand into Puck's, "I seem to have left my glee binder in my locker, or possibly my car. I can't remember." Her cheeks were flushed as she quickly added, "I would be happy to go and retrieve them so that we can discuss what position...um, direction would be best to take."

"Okay. Sure Rachel," he replied distractedly.

"Noah will you help me find them?" she asked quickly.

"Yes," he responded loudly as he practically dragged her out of the room.

"Well while we wait on them to get back does anyone have any ideas?" Mr. Schuester asked the group.

"Oh my God," Kurt said under his breath, exasperated at how clueless their teacher could be sometimes. "Mr. Schuester I highly doubt they're coming back today."

(***************************)

Rachel nestled snugly against Puck's body as he wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck, placing soft kisses along her jawline as their breathing turned back to normal. "Should we start looking for that binder?" Puck chuckled softly against her ear. She laughed as she turned her head so she could kiss his lips.

"Can I tell you something?" she asked quietly.

"Anything."

"There is no binder." Puck laughed out loud as he pulled her body even closer to him. He felt her shiver as he ran his fingertips along her hip bone. He placed a soft kiss against her lips as he moved his hands across her body. Feeling her respond so readily to his touch so quickly after they'd already come to release made him want her even more. "Aren't we breaking the rules by having the door shut?" he asked as he slowly dragged his tongue down her neck to suck on her pulse point.

Rachel moaned softly as she turned her body around to face him. "That's the rule you're concerned about?" she laughed softly as she wrapped her leg around him and pulled him closer.

"I just don't want either of us getting grounded in the near future. I can't stand being away from you," he replied as he took her left breast into his mouth.

Her breath was heavy again as she arched her body into him, her hands raking through his short soft hair as she pulled him closer. "Daddy had business in Chicago and Dad decided to accompany him so they could have a night on the town," she breathed huskily and let out a whimper as she opened herself to let him slide inside her.

Puck paused as he hovered over Rachel, her dark brown hair a mess against the pillows, her cheeks flushed pink with exertion and her brown eyes darkened with wanton desire. "So we have all night?" he asked softly as his heart expanded with love and want for this crazy girl that had completely changed his life.

"We have all night," she affirmed with a sexy smile.

"I love you Rachel."

"I love you too Noah."

**THE END**

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who read this story and to everyone who reviewed it. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Song credits are "Nothing's Gonna Hurt You" from Sweeney Todd and "She's Got a Way About Her" by Billy Joel. I suppose I also owe some thanks to YouTube and whoever posted the video of Lea and Jon singing the Sweeney Todd song (sorry I can't remember) because it planted the very first seed for this story. I knew I wanted to get to this point, so I guess I wrote it the way I solve a maze, by starting at the end and figuring out what would need to happen to get them to that point. So thanks everyone!**


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